“Yes You’re Gay” To The Tune Of The Beatles “Yesterday” by Rick London c2010

 

Yes, you’re gay,

The Tea Party feels you need someone else to lay,
Throwing Deuteronomy in your face,
Oh they believe you can be changed.

Marriage Decrees,
Is something only for straights you see,
Only straights get to make whoopie,
Get used to 2nd class its what you be.
Why your genetic code’s what it is, I don’t know,  I cannot say

Why Tea Party thinks you sin, Ken Mehlman may have something to say.

Yes you’re gay,
Now the right wing they keep dossiers,
On sexual actions that you might purvey,
They don’t believe you are born gay.

Why they think like this, that sodom is the San Francisco Gay Parade
Maybe you shouldn’t have worn that thong, you’ve been outed the Tea Party wayyyy.

Yes your gay,
In the closet you must quietly play.
Maybe one day you’ll have your day, when the Tea Party has gone away,
And then your gayness you’ll proudly display.

Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.

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Rick London is a writer, songwriter, cartoonist and designer. He founded Google and MSN’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons and funny gifts, Londons Times Cartoons and Gifts. He also founded Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous love quote shoes, which has been featured favorably on APWire and USA Today.  He is active in animal and wildlife causes and is an avid hiker and mountain climber. He and his wife Lee Hiller-London live and hike in the Ouachita Mountains of Arkansas

“Security Feels Me” (Song Parody by Rick London c2010) To The Tune Of The Who “See Me, Feel Me”

“Security..Feels Me” (Song Parody) by Rick London c2010 sung to The Who “See Me Feel Me”

 

Dedicated to my wife Lee Hiller-London

 

Security,
Feels me,
Sees me,
Perhaps a chablis?

More feelin’ me,
Squeeze me,
Frisk me,
Is this for free?

Suspicious Airline Passenger by Londons Times Cartoons

 

New York 80s sex bars weren’t even this sick,
You see me nude, now you’re in heat,
Normally, I’d spray with cayenne,
I’m just frequent flyer meat.

My behinds nude, guess you’ve seen millions,
Don’t you feel this is too gory,
Doesn’t matter if my fly’s open,
Go ahead with  your dirty deed.

All this time together, but we might not click,
This kind of behavior belongs ‘tween the sheets,
What’s on your face? Oh its a sick grin,
Wipe that excitement off your feet.

Hey stop that gawking at what you see jigglin’,
She’s no bomber, that’s just Aunt Bea,
Hang on to your yang it’s not going yin,
Let go of my flag, its not Old Glory.

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In addition to being a songwriter, Rick London is also f0under of Londons Times Cartoons, the #1 ranked offbeat cartoon on the Internet.  He also has opened numerous online shops that sell funny gifts bearing his cartoon images.  He also is founder and designer of the world’s only famous love quote shoes, Shoes That Amuse, and runs a cartoon blog about his various ventures. Follow him on Twitter @RickLondon.

Airport Security Parody Song by Rick London “Grievin’ On A Jet Plane” c2010

“Grievin’ On A Jet Plane” Parody Song by Rick London c2010

Dedicated to my wife Lee Hiller-London

Shark Folk Singers by Londons Times Cartoons (Click To Enlarge)

The Constitution’s sacked, my rights are gone,

The X-ray machine makes my boxers look like thongs,
Oh God I hope that’s not a pimple on my thigh.
They’ve see right through everything I’ve worn,
No more lax rules, a perverted culture is born,
Enough radiation to make Goliath die.

The TSA Agent & I don’t share the same esprit.
Have no idea if he wants to make whoopie,
Nonetheless, he’s now massaging my toes.
I’m grievin’ on a jet plane,
With total strangers that sinned,
What is this some flying pole dance show?
I’m ready to leave but security’s going downtown
My neurosis I’d like to drown,
With Nude Vodka, but they’ve already seen my everything,

Their Xray machine show’s I’m a Jew,
It’s taking hours, they’re still not through,
They’ve  touched so much, I expect a wedding ring.

All this foreplay is not for me,
Embarrassing, my kidneys are filled with pee,
I guess I’ll stand here, and just go,
Then I’ll be grievin’ on a jet plane,
Now they’re friskin’ me for a bobby pin,
Oh Gross, this guard’s in afterglow.

Guitar Solo

Now I know I’m coming unglued,
Can’t remember if I removed that secret tatoo
Here comes the scent of radioactive decay,
Not made of steel on the screen are my buns,
While I’m here remove these kidney stones,
Don’t touch my junk, is all I have to say.

So if you kiss me stay miles away from me,
Don’t even think of waiting for me,
You’ll lose an ear just like Vince Van Gogh,
Cause I’m grievin’ on a jet plane,
Not going back to that inequity den,
I hope you stepped in where I go.

I’m grievin’ on a jet plane,
Pre takeoff’s such a sin,
One is touching much too slow.

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Rick London is a writer, cartoonist, designer and songwriter. He founded Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons Londons Times.  He also founded numerous stores bearing his cartoon funny gifts such as The Rick London Collection.  He founded the world’s only love quote shoes ShoesThatAmuse.com and has a cartoon blog at WordPress as well.

“BP Sad Company” by Rick London Sung To “Bad Company”

“Sad Company” (By Rick London c2010) To The Tune Of “Bad Company” by “Bad Company”

Dedicated To My Wife Lee Hiller-London

Click To Enlarge

No mackerel shad, thanks to BP,
Dying dolphins, struggling in your greed.

A company so badly run,
Killed our whales with no whaling gun,
Oh 500 miles of tar balls on the sand,
Thanks to BP,

An Iranian Oil Company,
They first tried to deny,
Persian Oil Company,
All the wildlife died,
What a way to die.

Coast Guard & BP Patrols,
The Gulf Coast is appalled,
You claim to be British but your stocks are in Tehran,
Do you realize you’re hellbound?
At Grand Isle you create quite a flame
And Pensacola Bay.

BP needs to leave,
They gave it their best try,
It’s a sad company,
11 men have died.
All the fish have fried
SOLO

Oil grab,
This corrupt company,
All toxic debris,
Everything has died,
Remove your oil bit,
Sad company, Oh yeah—yeah
BP’s a sad company,
Everything has died.

4 generations of family business grieve,
Your heads in the sand,
BP needs to leave,
The entire Gulf & Bay,
Once clean now dirty,
Hold the tartar sauce,

Yeah,
BP’s a sad company,
Spill prevented with drilling mud.

Click To Enlarge

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Rick London is a songwriter, cartoonist and designer. He founded Londons Times Cartoons which have been Google #1 ranked offbeat cartoons since 2005 and MSN #1 ranked since 2008. London founded and designs Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous  love quote shoes. He has numerous licensed cartoon funny gift shops such as Rick LondonWear where he donates a percentage of all Funny BP Tees & Gift profits to Gulf causes. . He writes parody songs, and plans to write one every week until BP plugs the hole and cleans up every inch of the Gulf. He is auditioning bands/musicans. Please send audio, video or link to info@LondonsTimes.us. London is donating his half of all music profits to various Gulf Wildlife Causes.

Small People (The BP Song) C2010 by Rick London

 Small People Got Nobody (The BP Song)
by Rick London C2010 to the tune of
Randy Newman's “Short People”

                                                  For My Wife Lee Hiller-London


  We got oily hands & birds that can't fly, 
 All from BP's (Big People) press release of lies,
  Some beaches still clean but its a nightmare underneath
 Who knows the disease lurking at 5000 feet.

{Refrain}
 Well, BP (Big People) loves their small people,
        Creates escrows for small people, 
         Just when we thought BP had no more bull, 
                       They say the coast is clear.

      On Facebook all BP has no feedback, just replies, 
              They won't tell us Louisiana oyster beds are dry,
  We from the Gulf know they care not if we live or die, 
          It's not our parent's world.

    We're small people just worker bees, 
                       Help us God above. 

     There's a few crab legs left but taste like petrol, 
  By the end of this no tellin' how much BP 'll owe, 
 Be sure to lawyer up and don't fall asleep

  Hayward wants his life back, what a nasty little creep.

 They try to bar us from our beaches; have they lost
their minds?
  I think all the execs outta be servin' Parchman
 Prison time.
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Click To Enlarge

Rick London was born and raised on the Ms. Gulf Coast.
He created this cartoon and manufactured it on
about 40 gifts and collectibles, tees, mugs, etc. 10% of
all sales benefit The Audobon Society and WWF to help
what London says "Heal and salvage what wildlife remains
on our precious Gulf that BP whose lives B.P. recklessly
destroyed."

“Twitter” Parody Song by Rick London c2010 To Tune Of “Money” Pink Floyd

For my Love/DF @LeeHiller

Pink Floyd Another Time, But We Still Love Them

Twitter, Play or Flay,
Midnight In The Garden Of Good & Evil On Monitor Display.
Listen, its not Ebay.

Twitter, answer before your browser crashes,
You could be labeled a non-response snob with no

MY D/F Love @LeeHiller (And It may sound funny, but she's gonna get her money back! A doo doo doo doo doo doo...

following or fans,

200,000 followers might be time to clean an extreme Twitter Stream,
Someone just RT’d me with the Hawaii 5-0 theme,

Danno got the money back
But not before someone hacked my Twitter profile,
Keep your hands off her stash CNN-Tech Guru, Uh oh, here comes a “Cap Attack”.

My honey, she got hit,
But she got right up from the mat,
And “the player” doesn’t know but he’s oon be laying flat.

We have this fidelity,
Boring pay our bills no debt,
A newspaper from Nepal asks me if “I have any regrets”.

The Nepal News

(Sax and guitar solos)

Tis the right seasonings, its about thyme,
See my fair @Lee
But don’t take a slice of that pie.

My honey, was at Ebay,
Is the Internet’s Dr. Eveel,
Now she has her own brand here to stay.

Twitters a great place 4 monthly lifetime ties,
If nothing else it proves that life’s unfair,
Piper must be paid,
A MidSummer’s Day,
A sewerage Day,
Or a Spiritual Bouquet,
Twitters here to stay.
A Salute to Ev and Biz,
We know them to be very bright and alright.

A Princess Shines At The Oscars (Our Kathy Ireland)!!!!

Biz & Ev Brainstorming At Twitter (So we'll be nervous)

One Princess at Oscars Red Carpet got a deliberate slight,
The princess gave a designer jewelry left hook & Governor’s Ball smashing blow & super high rankings (and had just help renew/rebuild lives in Haiti)… some nuts at keyboards are cruisin’ for a bruisin.
“Yeah!”
Whey do some forget to think,
I know, they are really drunk all of the time.
Why he wasn’t coming up on freely, after Lee was twittering in CAPS and
Screaming and telling him why he wasn’t coming up on freely.
It came as a heavy blow, but others to his surprise, will sort the matter out.

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Aside from being a parody songwriter Rick London is founder of the Internet’s #1 offbeat cartoon, Londons Times.  He also founded the world’s only famous love quote shoes, ShoesThatAmuse.com, and is a fashion brand designer for actress/author Mariel Hemingway Collectibles. Rick owns numerous licensed image cartoon collectible shops that sell tees, cards, mugs etc featuring his “out there” cartoons.

Life Coach’s Are Rats (by Rick London c2009) Sung to Al Stewart’s “Year Of The Cat”

For my  DF/Love Lee Hiller

Good Kitty

On the morning of a life coach program the entrance fee is free,
The jest of the speech is material accumulation and a myriad of slime,
At the end of the program $5000 packaged programs and you’re sorry,
Feeling an accessory to a crime.

She comes out from backstage with fake Rolex so stunning,
Thinking the audience has no brains,
Then she wonders why on Twitter that she shunned,
She’ll mutter something about Newton’s inertia reference frame,
But she smells like a rat.

She only has a sec for questions,
And prefers Mastercard or bank transfers,
She counts on you to be dense with no direction,
Till your bank balance disappears.

Fear Of The Rat

You later find better advice on public bathroom stalls,
And you realize like so many others you’ve been screwed,
The BS was so thick you could cut it with a knife,
So you sip another brew,
Cheers to the year of the rat.

Well she counts her cash so cruely,
Smiling like another Macy’s shopping spree,
Your migraine now is grueling,
So you tweet her, but her only answer is snide,
I can’t help being a rat.

Well the morning comes and you’d like to believe her,
But the bozos on that bus are gone.
You’d like to form a group and start a line of pickets,
But the life coach took all their funds.

Lots Are Becoming Life Coaches Yes Even Danny Bonaduci

You try to think back at a filthier stain,
But the life coach leaves a permanent decay,
Repackaged ancient wisdom is the game she lives for.
They make Michael Madoff seem okay,
To a life coach you’re a doormat.

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Rick London is a writer, designer and cartoonist. He founded and creates Londons Times Cartoons, the nets #1 ranked offbeat cartoon. He launched Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous love quote shoes which have been featured in media worldwide. He has written over 650 published magazine articles and is brand designer for Mariel Hemingway Healthy Gifts.  His funny gift stores contain over 70,000 funny tees funny mugs and other funny gifts such as LT Superstore and Rick London Collection.  London is engaged to designer Lee Hiller who designs and sells unique gifts at her online store.

Iphone Song Parody Published by Rick London

“Iphone” by Rick London Song Parody to the tune of “My Girl” by The Temptations

Iphone by Rick London c2009

Direct from Apple or even on Ebay,
Internet tethering..cut, copy and paste,
They took a survey,
Iphone or Blue-beraaa,
Iphone (Iphone, Iphone),
Talkin’ into my (Iphone) (Iphone).

I can have video or graphics in 3D,
On the Iphone You can tap or call to speak,
I like the GPS display,
My Iphone is here to stay,
Iphone (Iphone, Iphone),
Talkin’ into my Iphone (Iphone).

Bought it on Ebay,
Ebay,
Sold.

Now other cellphones are all the same,
Even my Motorola is such a shame,
New or refurbished on Ebay,
Surf with my tiny cyber bouquet,
Iphone (Iphone, Iphone),
Talkin’ into my Iphone (Iphone).

Whether its business or video games to play,
On my Iphone.
My Iphone is here to stay,
My Iphone (fade)

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In addition to being a parody songwriter, Rick London is founder of Londons Times Cartoons, Google’s number one ranked offbeat cartoon

since 2005, and the Rick London Collection, another Google #1 ranking which features his cartoons on funny gifts and collectibles.

“Charge It” New Parody To Ray Charles “Georgia” By Rick London

“Charge It” to Ray Charles “Georgia” Song Parody by Rick London c2009

For my Df @LeeHiller

Charge it, Charge it,
Even when my Visa bill’s due,
And I know it’s wrong,
But charge it, and it’s mine.

I say Charge it,
Charge it,
Amex says they’ll sue,
I’ve become a credit engineer,
From Ebay vintage, to Tom Morris’ “Twisdom” on Amazon I find.

The first day Mastercard came to me,
Retail doors opened thought I’d never see,
Turned my credit rating into debris,

I said Charge it,
Ohh Charge it,
Buicks or thongs,
Can Charge it, and its mine.

All the things I could buy for Lee,
As if we were the bourgeoisie
Until 30 days it seems like free,
Until the bill is due.

Charge it,
Charge it,
Doesn’t all of mankind?
Is this new 10K teak table so wrong?
I just charged it, it was mine.

When the economy’s not strong,
I can charge it, and it’s mine.

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In addition to being a parody songwriter, Rick London is founder of Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoon, Londons Times.  He owns numerous funny gifts shops including Rick London Gifts which sell his licensed cartoon gifts on tees, mugs, etc. Along with his fiance’ Lee Hiller, they founded and operate a professional SEO and web design firm known as Pen And Ink Inc.

“Twitterville” Song Parody by Rick London to Jimmy Buffett’s “Margaritaville”

“Wastin’ Away Again In Twitterville” by Rick London c2009 (Song Parody to the tune of Jimmy Buffett’s Wastin’ Away Again in Margaritaville”

For My DF @LeeHiller

Twitterin’ for Twit’s sake,
Do I see a venomous snake?
Of which of our projects will they try to foil?
My followin’s on upswing,
Then Twitter’s porn sting,
I fall from 7,000 back down to two.

Chorus:

Networking away again in Twitterville,
Makin friends and avoiding assaults,
Some of them edit my RT’s, with their usernames,
Twitter promises it will come to a halt.

Wonder what is the reason,
Social networking all season,
Stuck like a honey-jar on Winnie The Poo
I found a real beauty,
An Oregon cutie,
And a love like hers is long overdue.

Chorus:
Finding my way around in Twitterville,
Friends like these just can’t be bought,
Some people searchin’ for money and fame,
And that stinks,
Hell, it’s a cyber-assault.

One actor’s show flopped,
She twitted it nonstop,
I think it was a sequel to “Romancing The Stone”,
No One to defend her
No box-office legal tender,
Could anything be worse than leaving Hollywood’s  “A”-List throne?

Chasin’ the nuts away in Twitterville,
Tryin’ to keep my friends that are earthy salt,
I wrote a quote that  a life-coach self-claimed,
How very lame; It’s my own damned fault.
Yes and some people say there’s a life coach to blame,
“Philosophy-lite” pay them its your own damned fault.

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Rick London is a writer and entrepreneur. He founded Londons Times Cartoons which has been Google’s #1 ranked cartoons and offbeat cartoon gifts since 2005. He owns several other net ventures as well. He is engaged to America’s Favorite Love Columnist, Lee Hiller. Follow them on Twitter. @RickLondon and @LeeHiller Together they founded the web design and ethical SEO team of PenAndInkInc.com