Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

McChrystal Lost His Pistol But Got His Picture On The Cover Of The Rolling Stone

June 23, 2010

This song is dedicated  to all our fallen heroes (and their families); soldiers who have fought and died in Afghanistan.  Londons Times Cartoons is contributing 100% of our half of the  proceeds to The Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund and challenge all to give to this amazing fund which helps families of our fallen soldiers. Give at http://www.FallenHeroes.com.

Also we are seeking a band to record this song.  Please send audio or video to info@LondonsTimes.us to audition. We will choose within a few weeks. Bands do not have to donate  their half to the fund. We only recommend to donate something. This matching cartoon has been published on tees, mugs, clothing, etc.  and 100% of proceeds from our gifts and publishing also benefit this fund.  Thank you.  Rick London, CEO, Rick London Group.

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Blunder With The Rolling Stone (Song Parody by Rick London c2010) To The Tune Of Dr. Hook’s “Cover Of The Rolling Stone”

click to enlarge

Ah ha ha I believe anything. Hey StanLAY McChrystal… from the military you’re barred.
Looks like your career’s reached a bit of a plateau,
(The Prez has decided to replace you with a real hero General Petraeus)
The military has a conduct code you’ve always known,
I’m sure you’ve gotten thrills, think of all the kills from all the soiree’s you’ve flown,
But you gave up your pistol, just to get your picture on the cover of The Rolling Stone.

Rolling Stone, we understand power is your lover,

Stoned. Did you smoke much pot with your mother?

Stoned, is there anybody left to face?

Since your Blunder with The Rolling Stone,

(Don’t let me instill fear,  Stan)

You had the NATO and U.S. Forces from the Navy To The Marines,
Is that guy’s name “Bite Me”?
Time to sell that limousine.
And now your fate is sealed and signed,
Cause you’re career’s already blown,
Because you spout fiction, due to power addiction to the reporter at the Rolling Stone

Looks like from here on out you’ll be living undercover
Alone, Think you could move back in with your mother?
Gone, was it worth it just to find your face,

On the cover of the Rolling Stone.

TAKES ITS TOLL!
(Stan time to stop your bull)

With the Pat Tillman cover-up you really got a reprieve,
You kept the feds at bay.
We wonder of all your cover-ups, a lot or just a few?
Doesn’t matter now Lady Justice is about to weigh,
You’re runnin’ out of friends, on Capital Hill, ya know the type that money can buy,
Like Dylan once asked “Hows it feel to be all alone?”
In the limelight was it worth it being that demure?
When you blundered with The Rolling Stone

Rolling Stone- Better hope it don’t make it to the cover,
Your stoned, don’t you wish you were someone other,
The Prez is on the phone..about being stupid with The Rolling Stone.

Don’t you wish you’d just gone bowling?
Or found yourself a long-term lover?
You know you’re really just too sloppy

Since you blundered with the Rolling Stone, .

(Man, you look like a cow, just being a grunt, criticizin’ everybody. Shoot.)

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Rick London is a designer, parody song writer, and cartoonist. He founded Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons, Londons Times (also MSN’s #1) and its #1 ranked cartoon collectible shops such  as RickLondonWear where the above cartoon image can bee found on funny tees mugs clothing and many other gift items. 100% of our proceeds benefits The Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund.  His main site has lured 8.7 million visitors since 2005.  He founded and creates the world’s only love quote shoes ShoesThatAmuse.com recently featured in USA Today and APWire.

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Small People (The BP Song) C2010 by Rick London

June 17, 2010

 Small People Got Nobody (The BP Song)
by Rick London C2010 to the tune of
Randy Newman's “Short People”

                                                  For My Wife Lee Hiller-London


  We got oily hands & birds that can't fly, 
 All from BP's (Big People) press release of lies,
  Some beaches still clean but its a nightmare underneath
 Who knows the disease lurking at 5000 feet.

{Refrain}
 Well, BP (Big People) loves their small people,
        Creates escrows for small people, 
         Just when we thought BP had no more bull, 
                       They say the coast is clear.

      On Facebook all BP has no feedback, just replies, 
              They won't tell us Louisiana oyster beds are dry,
  We from the Gulf know they care not if we live or die, 
          It's not our parent's world.

    We're small people just worker bees, 
                       Help us God above. 

     There's a few crab legs left but taste like petrol, 
  By the end of this no tellin' how much BP 'll owe, 
 Be sure to lawyer up and don't fall asleep
      Hayward wants his life back, what a nasty little creep.
 They try to bar us from our beaches; have they lost
their minds?
  I think all the execs outta be servin' Parchman
 Prison time.
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Click To Enlarge

Rick London was born and raised on the Ms. Gulf Coast. He created this cartoon and manufactured it on about 40 gifts and collectibles, tees, mugs, etc. 10% of all sales benefit The Audobon Society and WWF to help what London says "Heal and salvage what wildlife remains on our precious Gulf that BP whose lives B.P. recklessly destroyed."

“12 Gauge Shotguns In National Parks” by Rick London (Sung to Chicago’s Saturday In The Park)

March 3, 2010

12-Gauge Shotguns In National Parks” (by Rick London c2010) to the tune of Chicago’s “Saturday In The Park)

Dedicated to my DF/Love Lee Hiller who has a petition to keep loaded firearms out of National Parks which will be presented to the President 7 Congress. Please take a few moments to sign it. CLICK HERE TO SIGN.

12 gauge shotguns now legal in National Parks,
Face to face or even drive-by
Loaded shotguns in National Parks
NRA asked & Obama complied.
Will you get pinged by a zooming missile zing?
A Dick Cheney wet dream.
A farewell to life song.
Eicay varee’, eisee’ nardee’,
Where’s my case of Schlitz? (belch)
The one packing heat is sublime
Do we need semi-automatics to keep the beavers damned?

Now we’re safe from dawn until dark,
Now we’re safe from butterflies, or chipmunks that are on the sly.
Noah sailed on his ark,
The animals were all his allies,
People always smiled in the valley of Hot Springs,
The new laws a bit too bizarre,
The human is the only species here that mauls,
Bring a sick bag before I hurl,
Quick duck there’s a bullet,
How will our furry friends act with this new slime,
In my yard gun play..whose gonna pay?

Sloe gin guzzlers will turn my forest into a roadkill cafe,
I never thought I’d be betrayed by my home, the USA.
Ol’ Chevy trucks riding mountains with dual exhausts,
All is fair game at our cost, crow or doe.

So get out of the park, before it gets dark,
It’s bound to light up like Fourth Of July.
No more funny days in the park,
Just our wildlife with a bullseye mark.
The park is our back yard,
But he’s sick and wants it, really wants it,
His gun is so phallic,
There’s long been a place in hell for those who commit this crime,

Please stay out of my backyard and keep your gun at home,

I might not be as nice as Nurse Ratchett. Can you dig it?

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In addition to being a parody songwriter, Rick London is a writer with over 600 published articles to his name, the founder of Londons Times Cartoons which has been Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoon since 2005 luring 8.6 million people to his site, and has opened numerous web shops featuring over 100,000 of his cartoon image funny gifts. He is also brand designer for actress/author Mariel Hemingway at Hemingway Collectibles.


Life Coach’s Are Rats (by Rick London c2009) Sung to Al Stewart’s “Year Of The Cat”

December 26, 2009

For my  DF/Love Lee Hiller

Good Kitty

On the morning of a life coach program the entrance fee is free,
The jest of the speech is material accumulation and a myriad of slime,
At the end of the program $5000 packaged programs and you’re sorry,
Feeling an accessory to a crime.

She comes out from backstage with fake Rolex so stunning,
Thinking the audience has no brains,
Then she wonders why on Twitter that she shunned,
She’ll mutter something about Newton’s inertia reference frame,
But she smells like a rat.

She only has a sec for questions,
And prefers Mastercard or bank transfers,
She counts on you to be dense with no direction,
Till your bank balance disappears.

Fear Of The Rat

You later find better advice on public bathroom stalls,
And you realize like so many others you’ve been screwed,
The BS was so thick you could cut it with a knife,
So you sip another brew,
Cheers to the year of the rat.

Well she counts her cash so cruely,
Smiling like another Macy’s shopping spree,
Your migraine now is grueling,
So you tweet her, but her only answer is snide,
I can’t help being a rat.

Well the morning comes and you’d like to believe her,
But the bozos on that bus are gone.
You’d like to form a group and start a line of pickets,
But the life coach took all their funds.

Lots Are Becoming Life Coaches Yes Even Danny Bonaduci

You try to think back at a filthier stain,
But the life coach leaves a permanent decay,
Repackaged ancient wisdom is the game she lives for.
They make Michael Madoff seem okay,
To a life coach you’re a doormat.

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Rick London is a writer, designer and cartoonist. He founded and creates Londons Times Cartoons, the nets #1 ranked offbeat cartoon. He launched Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous love quote shoes which have been featured in media worldwide. He has written over 650 published magazine articles and is brand designer for Mariel Hemingway Healthy Gifts.  His funny gift stores contain over 70,000 funny tees funny mugs and other funny gifts such as LT Superstore and Rick London Collection.  London is engaged to designer Lee Hiller who designs and sells unique gifts at her online store.

Iphone Song Parody Published by Rick London

October 26, 2009

Iphone” by Rick London Song Parody to the tune of “My Girl” by The Temptations

temptations

Iphone by Rick London c2009

Direct from Apple or even on Ebay,
Internet tethering..cut, copy and paste,
They took a survey,
Iphone or Blue-beraaa,
Iphone (Iphone, Iphone),
Talkin’ into my (Iphone) (Iphone).

I can have video or graphics in 3D,
On the Iphone You can tap or call to speak,
I like the GPS display,
My Iphone is here to stay,
Iphone (Iphone, Iphone),
Talkin’ into my Iphone (Iphone).

Bought it on Ebay,
Ebay,
Sold.

Now other cellphones are all the same,
Even my Motorola is such a shame,
New or refurbished on Ebay,
Surf with my tiny cyber bouquet,
Iphone (Iphone, Iphone),
Talkin’ into my Iphone (Iphone).

temptations iphone

Whether its business or video games to play,
On my Iphone.
My Iphone is here to stay,
My Iphone (fade)

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In addition to being a parody songwriter, Rick London is founder of Londons Times Cartoons, Google’s number one ranked offbeat cartoon

since 2005, and the Rick London Collection, another Google #1 ranking which features his cartoons on funny gifts and collectibles.

“Charge It” New Parody To Ray Charles “Georgia” By Rick London

September 10, 2009

Charge It” to Ray Charles “Georgia” Song Parody by Rick London c2009

dave_xray

For my Df @LeeHiller

Charge it, Charge it,
Even when my Visa bill’s due,
And I know it’s wrong,
But charge it, and it’s mine.

I say Charge it,
Charge it,
Amex says they’ll sue,
I’ve become a credit engineer,
From Ebay vintage, to Tom Morris’ “Twisdom” on Amazon I find.

The first day Mastercard came to me,
Retail doors opened thought I’d never see,
Turned my credit rating into debris,

I said Charge it,
Ohh Charge it,
Buicks or thongs,
Can Charge it, and its mine.

All the things I could buy for Lee,
As if we were the bourgeoisie
Until 30 days it seems like free,
Until the bill is due.

ray charles 2 piano winding

Charge it,
Charge it,
Doesn’t all of mankind?
Is this new 10K teak table so wrong?
I just charged it, it was mine.

When the economy’s not strong,
I can charge it, and it’s mine.

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In addition to being a parody songwriter, Rick London is founder of Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoon, Londons Times.  He owns numerous funny gifts shops including Rick London Gifts which sell his licensed cartoon gifts on tees, mugs, etc. Along with his fiance’ Lee Hiller, they founded and operate a professional SEO and web design firm known as Pen And Ink Inc.

“Twitterville” Song Parody by Rick London to Jimmy Buffett’s “Margaritaville”

September 8, 2009

“Wastin’ Away Again In Twitterville” by Rick London c2009 (Song Parody to the tune of Jimmy Buffett’s Wastin’ Away Again in Margaritaville”

For My DF @LeeHillerjimmy buffett

Twitterin’ for Twit’s sake,
Do I see a venomous snake?
Of which of our projects will they try to foil?
My followin’s on upswing,
Then Twitter’s porn sting,
I fall from 7,000 back down to two.

Chorus:

Networking away again in Twitterville,
Makin friends and avoiding assaults,
Some of them edit my RT’s, with their usernames,
Twitter promises it will come to a halt.

Wonder what is the reason,
Social networking all season,
Stuck like a honey-jar on Winnie The Poo
I found a real beauty,
An Oregon cutie,
And a love like hers is long overdue.

Chorus:
Finding my way around in Twitterville,
Friends like these just can’t be bought,
Some people searchin’ for money and fame,
And that stinks,
Hell, it’s a cyber-assault.

One actor’s show flopped,
She twitted it nonstop,
I think it was a sequel to “Romancing The Stone”,
No One to defend her
No box-office legal tender,
Could anything be worse than leaving Hollywood’s  “A”-List throne?
jimmy buffett cartoon parrot
Chasin’ the nuts away in Twitterville,
Tryin’ to keep my friends that are earthy salt,
I wrote a quote that  a life-coach self-claimed,
How very lame; It’s my own damned fault.
Yes and some people say there’s a life coach to blame,
“Philosophy-lite” pay them its your own damned fault.

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Rick London is a writer and entrepreneur. He founded Londons Times Cartoons which has been Google’s #1 ranked cartoons and offbeat cartoon gifts since 2005. He owns several other net ventures as well. He is engaged to America’s Favorite Love Columnist, Lee Hiller. Follow them on Twitter. @RickLondon and @LeeHiller Together they founded the web design and ethical SEO team of PenAndInkInc.com


“Some Tweets May Cause Strife” by Rick London c2009) To Beatles “A Day In The Life”

August 22, 2009


For my DF Lee Hiller

beatles fine fine fine 9999999I saw a tweet today, Oh boy. A Dorothy Parker-wannabe with no shades of gray.

Then comes a link to a start-up  launching pad,
Some breast enlargement scheme claiming not to be another fad
Someone gossiped claiming who was good and who was  riff-raff….


These DM’s can get quite bizarre,
Some even cross the line of being deranged….
Why must I know whose having an affair?
And then they wonder why I block or ignore,
Come and go as fast as an Edsel Ford.

Another “Life Coach” aka unemployed

Purveying “wisdom” that condescends & degrades,
And in real life they borrow steal and beg.
All the while #quoting gems from The Good Book
Enabling followers to self-aggrandize to their cyber-throne

I clicked my mouse and went to facebook instead,
Not Twitter excitement but at least it was not dead

Then left my PC just to tidy up,
Went back to facebook but it was abate,
Not much noise but a place to chat,
On board were several adults and several MySpace brats,
Posted a few puns, but no one got the joke,
I’m not at all surprised what appears on my monitor’s screen,
Bah.

fail whale
Several Social network veterans looking for their prey,
So I went back to Twitter with throttle in full gear.
A few #quotes from Emerson and the Apostle Paul,
Then so much spam it felt like a strip mall,
But in my living room so without the urban sprawl,
Someone said they’d follow me if I was well-known.

(Repeat Chorus)

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Rick London is a writer and entrepreneur. His cartoon “Londons Times” has been the #1 ranked offbeat cartoon (Google rankings) since 2005. His website was founded in 1997 and has received over 8.5 million visitors since 2005. He founded Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous love quote shoes. He owns numerous funny gift shops bearing with gifts and collectibles bearing his offbeat cartoon images. He is the designer of actress Mariel Hemingway brand of licensed products. He is co-founder of PenAndInkInc an professional web design, branding and SEO firm which he founded with his fiancé’ Lee Hiller who is the love advice columnist of Herald de Paris.

SPCA by Rick London c2008 To The Tune Of Village People YMCA

August 19, 2009

Adopt From The SPCA” by Rick London c2008 To The Tune Of The Village People “YMCA”

spca village people

Dedicated to my DF Lee Hiller

Dogs & cats left in a trash can, can sure get you down,
And the shelter is just outside of town,
Maybe an Afghan Hound,
You can adopt a puppy or kitty.

Saw a mixed breed, with some American Eskimo,
And to get one, it won’t cost you much dough,
Long or short hair, I am sure you will find,
A pet that’s been left behind.


Adopt at the S.P.C.A.
Adopt at the S.P.C.A.

Then go to Petsmart and buy it some toys,
Never know you might find a Samoyed….

Adopt at the S.P.C.A.
Adopt at the S.P.C.A.

Take it home have it cleaned, give it a good meal,
And the price is such a steal.

Maybe a black and tan, or a Siamese,
English Bulldog, & there are many b mixed bspca stray catreeds,
A Shepherd that’s German, or a cute peekinese
A Poodle’s smart and understands what you mean.

These abanonded creatures can’t take care of themselves,
If you like cats, Persians a breed to itself,
Show you really care, at the S.P.C.A.
Take a tour and adopt today.

Adopt at the S.P.C.A.
Adopt at the S.P.C.A.

They even have birds that talk and sing, for everyone to enjoy,
Poodles standard, regular, or toy,

At the S.P.C.A.
Adopt at the S.P.C.A.

Just pay for worming and a shot, its a very good deal,
. Might find a pot-bellied pig that squeals.

Whether a mixed mutt, or a Siamese whose point is blue,
Unwanted young ones is a terrible sight.
It takes money to feed them their meet,
So they often end up on the street,
So adopt at the S.P.C.A.
Wouldn’t a Great Dane pup be great?

It’s fun to adopt from the S.P.C.A
And it will surely make your day.
spca stray dog
They have every kind of pet for any girl or boy,
From Burmese Cats to Borzois.

(Repeat Chorus)

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Rick London is a writer and entrepreneur. He founded Londons Times Cartoons which has been Google’s #1-ranked offbeat cartoon since 2005.  He founded Shoes That Amuse, The World’s Famous Love Quote Shoes. He is a product brand designer and SEO professional, who co-founded PenAndInkInc with his fiance’ Lee Hiller. He is licensed product designer/partner for actress Mariel Hemingway Collectibles. He owns a numerous funny gift shops bearing his Londons Times Cartoon Images.


“Alfred Hitchcock Presents” by Rick London c2008 To Tune Of “Sound Of Silence”

August 17, 2009

ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS” BY RICK LONDON (C2008) SUNG TO THE TUNE OF SIMON AND GARFUNKEL’S “SOUND OF SILENCE”

Dedicated to my DF Lee Hiller

hitchcock

In the darkness of my family den,
I was maybe no more than age ten.
Sunday night tv was slightly creepy,
Only one show as good as Rod Serling’s.
Television images that remain in my brain,
Bodily remains,
It was “Alfred Hitchcock Presents”

Unsolved murders and stalked damsels home alone,
Cemeteries showing bones, ,
Murder weapons that were legs of lamb,
Fatal seductions done by lovely vamps.
And in one Jimmy Stewart lost his balance due to fear of heights,
Marlene Deitrich seduced us in “Stagefright”.
And then Sunday’s “Alfred Hitchcock Presents.

In “The Birds” we saw sharp claws,
Tippi Hedrin was at such a loss,
And Jon Finch kept us in a “Frenzy” with loud barroom speaking,
But it was Bob Rusk bringing the mayhem.
In “North By Northwest” Cary Grant didn’t stand a prayer,
Did Eva Marie Saint care?
Then Sunday nights Alfred Hitchcock Presents.

In “To Catch A Thief” Grace Kelly did not know,
A few years later she’d be on the throne,
In “Torn Curtain” Julie Andrews was no peach,
Paul Newman felt he had much to teach,
In “Psycho” Norman Bates held the knife while Mother’s shower rained,
Hotel Bates they owned,
Then on Sundays Alfred Hitchock Presents.

In “Rear Window” Jimmy Stewart’s eyes on Grace Kelly lay
She was afraid,
In “Dial M For Murder” Ray Milland shows with no warning,
Grace Kelly inside while it was storming.
In “I Confess” behind the sacred curtains Montgomery Clift falls,
Where Anne Baxter crawls,
Then Sunday night “Alfred Hitchcock Presents”

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Rick London is a writer and entrepreneur. He is founder of Londons Times Cartoons, the #1 Google-ranked offbeat cartoon since 2005.  He founded Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous love quote shoes.  He owns several funny gifts shops which feature his cartoons on funny merchandise. He is co-founder of SEO firm PenAndInkInc along with his fiance’, Lee Hiller who is also the love columnist of Herald de Paris. London lives in the Ouichata Mountains of Arkansas.