“Egyptian Revolution” by Rick London c2011 To The Tune Of The Beatles “Revolution”

For my wife Lee Hiller-London

Egypt had a revolution,
Mubarek had to go,
Order of a new world,

Beatles: Click To Enlarge

As they formed the revolution,

Soliman proved he was no pro.
facebook & Twitter helped you change the world,
You pulled it off without firing a gun,
There’s no plagues, locusts or droughts
It was in Tahrir Square all night
Only Muslim Brotherhood may try to cause blight.

The army dropped their ammunition,
And get a billion more ya know,
Hamas doesn’t stand a chance,
Algeria, Syria & Gaza on the run,
All Israel’s foes,

Zuckerberg Vs Mubarek (Click To Enlarge)

But now their emperors wear no clothes.
Now Israel & Egypt has a lot of money,
They’ve dropped all their hate,
Syria, Yemen, & Algeria better circumnavigate
Just remember facebook can bite you with its bytes,
Israel & U.S. was nervous for just one night,
Cairo is safe!

Ah, ah, ah, ah, oy…  yeah,

Mubarek: No Evil Here. Move Along Kids (Click To Enlarge)

You’re writing an Egyptian Constitution,
Drinking diet coke and eating Cheetos,
First one ever on a laptop on a bed,
Is Mubarek in an institution?
He’d be better off ya know,
Now you see he’s not so thoroughbred,
Can’t ya see Mohamed ElBaradei was late to lead the show,

Google’s Wael Ghonim is much better anyhow

 

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In addition to being a parody songwriter, Rick London founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997. Since that time he has built it to be ranked #1 offbeat cartoon by Google & MSN for the past 5 years. He has also created numerous stores featuring funny gifts bearing his cartoons. He is a shoes designer who created the world’s only famous love quote shoes, ShoesThatAmuse.com.  He enjoys nature, hiking, animals, and being with his wife Lee Hiller-London, a nature/wildlife photographer in his spare time.

“Yes You’re Gay” To The Tune Of The Beatles “Yesterday” by Rick London c2010

 

Yes, you’re gay,

The Tea Party feels you need someone else to lay,
Throwing Deuteronomy in your face,
Oh they believe you can be changed.

Marriage Decrees,
Is something only for straights you see,
Only straights get to make whoopie,
Get used to 2nd class its what you be.
Why your genetic code’s what it is, I don’t know,  I cannot say

Why Tea Party thinks you sin, Ken Mehlman may have something to say.

Yes you’re gay,
Now the right wing they keep dossiers,
On sexual actions that you might purvey,
They don’t believe you are born gay.

Why they think like this, that sodom is the San Francisco Gay Parade
Maybe you shouldn’t have worn that thong, you’ve been outed the Tea Party wayyyy.

Yes your gay,
In the closet you must quietly play.
Maybe one day you’ll have your day, when the Tea Party has gone away,
And then your gayness you’ll proudly display.

Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.

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Rick London is a writer, songwriter, cartoonist and designer. He founded Google and MSN’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons and funny gifts, Londons Times Cartoons and Gifts. He also founded Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous love quote shoes, which has been featured favorably on APWire and USA Today.  He is active in animal and wildlife causes and is an avid hiker and mountain climber. He and his wife Lee Hiller-London live and hike in the Ouachita Mountains of Arkansas

“Security Feels Me” (Song Parody by Rick London c2010) To The Tune Of The Who “See Me, Feel Me”

“Security..Feels Me” (Song Parody) by Rick London c2010 sung to The Who “See Me Feel Me”

 

Dedicated to my wife Lee Hiller-London

 

Security,
Feels me,
Sees me,
Perhaps a chablis?

More feelin’ me,
Squeeze me,
Frisk me,
Is this for free?

Suspicious Airline Passenger by Londons Times Cartoons

 

New York 80s sex bars weren’t even this sick,
You see me nude, now you’re in heat,
Normally, I’d spray with cayenne,
I’m just frequent flyer meat.

My behinds nude, guess you’ve seen millions,
Don’t you feel this is too gory,
Doesn’t matter if my fly’s open,
Go ahead with  your dirty deed.

All this time together, but we might not click,
This kind of behavior belongs ‘tween the sheets,
What’s on your face? Oh its a sick grin,
Wipe that excitement off your feet.

Hey stop that gawking at what you see jigglin’,
She’s no bomber, that’s just Aunt Bea,
Hang on to your yang it’s not going yin,
Let go of my flag, its not Old Glory.

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In addition to being a songwriter, Rick London is also f0under of Londons Times Cartoons, the #1 ranked offbeat cartoon on the Internet.  He also has opened numerous online shops that sell funny gifts bearing his cartoon images.  He also is founder and designer of the world’s only famous love quote shoes, Shoes That Amuse, and runs a cartoon blog about his various ventures. Follow him on Twitter @RickLondon.

Please, Leave BP (by Rick London) Sung To Please, Please Me (Beatles)

Please Leave Here BP by Rick London c2010 (Sung to Please, Please Me by The Beatles)

Dedicated To My Wife: Lee Hiller-London

What Bp’s done has made me want to hurl,
My Gulf now has no turrrrr-tles.
The whales are gone,
Please leave here BP, and take your crude.
Now to walk the beach we need haz-mat gloves,
. That you’ll begone,
Please leave here BP, and take your crude.

Now we get dispersement each time its rainin’,
Families & wildlife you have torn apart (torn apart),
Tourists stay home, they now have no reason,
It’s been that way, oh yea, since Deep Horizon blew.
Now your toxins are spreading round the world,
Into the Gulf’s currents they do swirl,
Please cease and desist, and take your crude.

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Rick London is a writer, cartoonist and designer as well as a parody song writer. He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997 which have become the #1 offbeat cartoon on the Internet. He also founded numerous funny gift shops featuring his cartoons on tees, mugs, etc. London is currently auditioning musicians/bands to record his parody songs (He has written 30 or so about BP). His goal is to write one per week until BP cleans up the entire gulf of oil and dispersement. He is donating his 50% of profits to Gulf causes.

A Londons Times (Panel Hollywood Series) Click To Enlarge

Forward Of New Londons Times Cartoon Book By Philosopher Dr. Tom V. Morris

Why Cartoonists Shouldn't Drink (Click To Enlarge)

I was pretty sure I had arrived when America’s premiere (most brilliant)  philosopher Dr. Tom V. Morris, former professor of philosophy at Notre Dame for 2 decades, a Morehouse Scholar and founder of The Morris Institute Of Human Values asked me to write a review for the cover of his 21st book “Twisdom”, which I did.

So I knew I was taking a big chance when I asked Tom to write the forward for my first cartoon book “Our Favorites”  Londons Times Offbeat Cartoon Book celebrating our 13th Anniversary.

Here is what Tom wrote. I think it’s gorgeous. Thanks Tom……

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Dr. Tom V. Morris (Click To Enlarge)

I first met internet-wonder cartoon mogul Rick London, appropriately, on the internet, but more specifically, on Twitter. After several weeks of finding my way around that wild new world, a voice appeared in my Twitter Stream, a man with a strong, sparkling intelligence and a very good, finely warped sense of humor. I could depend on Rick to engage me with endlessly creative puns and inspire the same from me until the cows came in, and then I was sure he could concoct a cartoon about those cows that would be even funnier than the puns.

As a public philosopher, it’s my job to examine life, analyze the human condition, and comment about it all in ways that will raise people’s consciousness and perhaps provide new perspectives. Interestingly enough, that’s exactly what Rick, as a creator of cartoons, doesn’t except, he’s funnier. If Socrates had just learned to draw, or partnered up with a really good, offbeat illustrator, he might have been able to create and sell some books himself. And maybe then things would have ended a little better for him. It’s hard to poison someone who makes you laugh. One of the many hidden benefits of Rick’s job is that he doesn’t need a food taster or cupbearer to sniff out hemlock in his applesauce and white wine. The rest of us would rather slip in some vitamins to keep him going strong so he’ll be around for a very long time to continue to build his online cartoon empire.

The existentialists were on to something. Absurdity sells. The majority of Reality TV shows and most ongoing developments in contemporary politics prove this repeatedly. But intentional absurdity and revealingly funny absurdity that’s contrived to yield understanding is, of course, best of all. And that’s what we get in so many of the cartoons that Rick, as a creative Socratic midwife, has birthed over the years. An off kilter remark, or a creative juxtaposition, can evoke both a smile and an insight
in one quick moment.

Two of the deepest secrets to extraordinary success in life are creativity and collaboration. Rick lives them both, and his work shows the results. He is also a man of great kindness and personal loyalty and qualities that shine as brightly as his intellect, and are as rare as his philosophically prominent funny bone.

I heartily commend these pages to you. Laugh, think, and enjoy!

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Londons Times Cartoons Publishes 13th Anniversary Book

Founded in 1997 in a rural Ms warehouse, Londons Times has grown in 13 years to be one of the largest if not the largest inventory of offbeat cartoons on the Internet.

In 2005 Google ranked it the #1 cartoon where it has remained so ever since. In 2008, MSN also ranked it #1 and it remains so with MSN.

Today, on London’s 56th birthday, his first book “Our Favorites” was published, a compilation of what he considers his best cartoons from his collection into a picture book.

Founder Rick London says, “My wife Lee and I chose our favorite cartoons from our inventory. We decided to include 60 full page full color cartoons for the book, and create a series.

London continues to create cartoons with his Londons Times team and they appear on his main offbeat cartoons site

Now That Our Sand’s Brown by Rick London To Woody Guthrie’s “This Land Is My Land”

“Now That Our Sand’s Brown” by Rick London c2010 To The Tune Of Woody Guthrie’s

“This Land Is My Land”

Dedicated to my wife Lee Hiller-London

Click To Enlarge

Now that our land been damned by BP’s philosophy of Ayn Rand,
So we have brown sand,
From Grand Isle across the Gulf Stream waters,
This land does not belong to BP.

Dispursment’s a liquid toupee,
A toxin where the fish used to play,
It takes no banshee,
To know this toxic liquid is killing all that’s in the sea.

Click To Enlarge

BP stumbled through its many missteps,
Now the gusher continues to squirt,
One thing we do know whatever life brings,
The Gulf Coast belongs to you and me.

Onto their lies they do cling,
As death and destruction they do bring,
“We’ll make it right” is the mantra they sing,
The Gulf belongs not to BP.

As I walked the beaches, no sign of life there,
BP had signs up, that said “No Trespassing”,
All I could think was “Who are they kidding”?
The Gulf beach belongs to you and me.

On cable news shows, I saw my struggling people,
I stood outside a church staring at the steeple,
As if it spoke to me, the church bells were ringing,
Get off of my land you damned BP.

Looks like a war zone, or some DMZ,
Our clear blue waters are now brown and gray,
Nothing is living, wildlife floating on their backs,
. Thanks to you, BP

Click To Enlarge

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Rick London is a writer, musician, cartoonist, designer, and entrepreneur. He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997 which have catapulted to Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoon since 2005. He also founded a number of shops featuring his funny gifts bearing his cartoon images The above BP cartoon sales benefit various Gulf causes. London is currently auditioning bands and auditions to record his parody songs. He is donating 100% of his proceeds to Gulf causes and the band may keep or donate their half (their option).London is a native of the Gulf Coast and a lover of wildlife, nature and the Gulf Coast.

W4N7MM9GQXJR

Five Ways Online Retailers Can Survive The Summer (Beyond Twitter & facebook)

Click To Enlarge

There ain’t no cure for the summertime retail blues….or is there? Historically, retailers dread the

summer as far as sales are concerned. Some even close shop for long periods of time. I remember

one brick and mortar store that closed the entire summer. People just don’t want to go out

in the sweltering heat.

One might think that would be an advantage to the online retailer and in many ways it is, if he/she

wants it to be. People are still people and we are creatures of habit so we tend to sock away extra

funds to start buying in September through early December for holiday gifts.

There are ways an online retailer can help him or herself as well as clients by keeping up with

trends.

One might have to live on Mars to know that the economy is suffering; and, even then chances are

the news has saturated other planets. Face it folks, it’s rough.

But people still will buy gifts and collectibles. What can a retailer do to fill that void. My stores

decided to drop most of its items that retail for over $25 and focus more on items that run from

the $.99  to $15 range. Yes we still cater to those who prefer the more expensive gifts, but our

cartoon postcards,  buttons, magnets, and basic tees are shipped worldwide daily. The economy

has affected everyone  everywhere, but, if the retailer listens to what the customer wants, the

customer will buy.

With millions of online retail stores on the Internet, how does one become a squeaky wheel? There

are lots of ways to do so. I am doing one now by writing an article. But one can’t just write an

article and “they will come”. The article has to offer at least a few pieces of information of value to

both the retailer and client.

Many simply focus on Twitter, “talk” to “friends” and feel that does the trick. Same with facebook.

Both couldn’t be further from the truth. Backlinks are what drives people to ones site, and they

can,in fact be found on Twitter and facebook, if the member places them there, but also in articles

and article directories, blogs and blog directories, social bookmarking sites, pinging their blogs,

and  a multitude of other proven techniques that put the social marketer head and heals above the

basic Twitterer or facebook fanatic. I am not putting down those social networks. I use them

and do so successfully. I have just come to know they are not “magic” and if one puts all his/her

eggs in their baskets, they end up branding Twitter and Facebook more than they do themselves.

Some still use ppc (pay per click) advertising such as Google Adwords, MSN Search etc. They

can be very effective, and I used to use them, but with all the free opportunities to use backlinks

to ones shop, and even more specifically to a particular product, and even a place for keyword

tags, I see paid ads as becoming somewhat outdated. I could be wrong; but I’d prefer to write an

article or a blog with a backlink. It is free, and is another expense I don’t have (advertising) giving

me yet another reason to keep the prices lower to the end buyer.

If the idea of article marketing, tweaking or even changing your sites keywords and metatags,

pinging, twitter blasts, twitter scheduled regular tweets, facebook management, blog and web

upkeep boggles the mind, it is not only a good idea, it is mandatory to find a professional

affordable web promotion firm.

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Rick London is a cartoonist, writer, designer, and online retailer.  He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997.  It has been the #1 Google ranked offbeat cartoon since 2005 and MSN #1 ranked since 2008. London founded the world’s only famous love quote shoes, ShoesThatAmuse.com in 2007 which has been featured in USA Today and worldwide on the AP Wire. He owns numerous online shops featuring his #1 cartoon on funny tees, cards, mugs etc such as RickLondonCollection.com.  London owns the premiere SEO marketing firm with his wife Lee Hiller-London which offers affordable web promotion and design,   Pen and Ink, Inc.   He is a native of the Ms. Gulf Coast and donates a percentage of each sale to Gulf Wildlife and other animal causes.

“BP Sad Company” by Rick London Sung To “Bad Company”

“Sad Company” (By Rick London c2010) To The Tune Of “Bad Company” by “Bad Company”

Dedicated To My Wife Lee Hiller-London

Click To Enlarge

No mackerel shad, thanks to BP,
Dying dolphins, struggling in your greed.

A company so badly run,
Killed our whales with no whaling gun,
Oh 500 miles of tar balls on the sand,
Thanks to BP,

An Iranian Oil Company,
They first tried to deny,
Persian Oil Company,
All the wildlife died,
What a way to die.

Coast Guard & BP Patrols,
The Gulf Coast is appalled,
You claim to be British but your stocks are in Tehran,
Do you realize you’re hellbound?
At Grand Isle you create quite a flame
And Pensacola Bay.

BP needs to leave,
They gave it their best try,
It’s a sad company,
11 men have died.
All the fish have fried
SOLO

Oil grab,
This corrupt company,
All toxic debris,
Everything has died,
Remove your oil bit,
Sad company, Oh yeah—yeah
BP’s a sad company,
Everything has died.

4 generations of family business grieve,
Your heads in the sand,
BP needs to leave,
The entire Gulf & Bay,
Once clean now dirty,
Hold the tartar sauce,

Yeah,
BP’s a sad company,
Spill prevented with drilling mud.

Click To Enlarge

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Rick London is a songwriter, cartoonist and designer. He founded Londons Times Cartoons which have been Google #1 ranked offbeat cartoons since 2005 and MSN #1 ranked since 2008. London founded and designs Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous  love quote shoes. He has numerous licensed cartoon funny gift shops such as Rick LondonWear where he donates a percentage of all Funny BP Tees & Gift profits to Gulf causes. . He writes parody songs, and plans to write one every week until BP plugs the hole and cleans up every inch of the Gulf. He is auditioning bands/musicans. Please send audio, video or link to info@LondonsTimes.us. London is donating his half of all music profits to various Gulf Wildlife Causes.

“Mississippi Sound” by Rick London c2010 (Sung To The Tune Of “Mrs. Robinson” by S&G)

“Mississippi Sound” by Rick London c2010 (To the tune of Simon & Garfunkel’s

“Ms Robinson”

Dedicated to my wife: Lee Hiller-London

Click To Enlarge

BP’s oil destroyed the Mississippi Sound,
The birds have died as well as fish below (a death so slow),
God help you please, Mississippi Sound,
The dolphins need a place where they can play,
Will BP pay?

YouTube puts up news coverage but you remove these video files,
The ocean’s a living hell along with the continental shelf.
The Gulf was once a place wildlife called home.

And look at all the destruction and its only just begun,
Have you not heard of quid pro quo? (Resentment grows).
At least no fear of whaling guns, as there are none.
No pelicans no birds of prey,
(An abandoned Bay).

Capping it is iffy may cause another spill to flow,
Most of us would be imprisoned for this mistake.
Meanwhile Deep Horizon emits a hellish flare.
The economy has hit the skids.

I remember tourists coming here to have fun,
We now know about your balloon and pony show.
I miss my Mississippi Sound,
Heaven knows its where I grew up and played.
Another day, its gone away.

Now its just a place where BP oil was strewn,
BP has sealed the wildlife’s fate.
Have you done this all along would you admit?
Or just too much to lose?
And a tv campaign designed to confuse.

Where’s our way of life we had a long time ago?
Its gone BP because of you (Everyone will lose)
Why did you destroy the Mississippi Sound,
(Why do you stay? Please leave we can only pray).

Rick London is a writer, designer, cartoonist and parody song writer. He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997; #1 Google ranked offbeat cartoons since 2005, and MSN #1 ranked since 2008. His goal is to write one BP parody song per week about the Gulf Coast Spill; he is a native of south Mississippi. He is currently auditioning bands/and or musicians to record his songs. He is donating 100% of his half to Gulf Coast causes. It is optional for the recording band and/or musician to also donate. The above cartoon is available at Rick LondonWear on funny mugs, tees, etc.  Sales from this item will also benefit Gulf causes. To audition: Send video, audio or link to info@LondonsTimes.us. We generally respond within a week.