Posts Tagged ‘londons times cartoons’

Is Rupert On My Telephone (Song Parody by Rick London c2011) Sung To How Long Has This Been Going On by Ace

July 19, 2011


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              For my DW Lee Hiller-London

Is Rupert hacking Hugh Grant’s cell phone?
What’s that clicking on my Smart Phone?
In parliamentary court Rupert sits with his son,
        Spinning their phone hacking scheme,
Surely Louise Mensch has her suspicions,
And Piers Morgan’s new book shows he has a hacking degree.

Rupert better prepare to be a “has been”,
As the scales of justice weigh,
He’s had  years of riding by shark fin,
           Now stuck on the dock of the bay.

What’s that clicking on my telephone?
Is Rupert on Hugh Grant’s cell phone?    

(Musical interlude)

With all of your courtroom legal guns,
You’ll need more than The Dream Team,
You spin and old story till its spun,
Parliament’s not quite as dumb as he seems
Rupert’s defense is looking a bit slim,
He says his employees betrayed,
Rebekah Brooks is his Stevie-Nicks wannabe broody hen.

Is News Of The World hacking my cell hone?
Is that click Rupert’s listening on?
Is he a kindergartener overgrown?
Is that Rupert on my phone?
Looks like Fleet Street is gonna be a Murdoch-Free Zone

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Rick London is a songwriter, designer, and cartoonist. He founded Londons Times Cartoons and gifts which have remained the #1 offbeat cartoons & offbeat cartoon gifts on the Internet since 2005 with an inventory of over 1/4 million funny gifts bearing his licensed images.  London is married to nature photographer Lee Hiller-London who operates Hike Our Planet blog and designs merchandise from her photography and graphic images. Both are active in animal environmental and veteran causes.

“Yes You’re Gay” To The Tune Of The Beatles “Yesterday” by Rick London c2010

December 9, 2010

 

Yes, you’re gay,

The Tea Party feels you need someone else to lay,
Throwing Deuteronomy in your face,
Oh they believe you can be changed.

Marriage Decrees,
Is something only for straights you see,
Only straights get to make whoopie,
Get used to 2nd class its what you be.
Why your genetic code’s what it is, I don’t know,  I cannot say

Why Tea Party thinks you sin, Ken Mehlman may have something to say.

Yes you’re gay,
Now the right wing they keep dossiers,
On sexual actions that you might purvey,
They don’t believe you are born gay.

Why they think like this, that sodom is the San Francisco Gay Parade
Maybe you shouldn’t have worn that thong, you’ve been outed the Tea Party wayyyy.

Yes your gay,
In the closet you must quietly play.
Maybe one day you’ll have your day, when the Tea Party has gone away,
And then your gayness you’ll proudly display.

Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.


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Rick London is a writer, songwriter, cartoonist and designer. He founded Google and MSN’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons and funny gifts, Londons Times Cartoons and Gifts. He also founded Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous love quote shoes, which has been featured favorably on APWire and USA Today.  He is active in animal and wildlife causes and is an avid hiker and mountain climber. He and his wife Lee Hiller-London live and hike in the Ouachita Mountains of Arkansas

“Security Feels Me” (Song Parody by Rick London c2010) To The Tune Of The Who “See Me, Feel Me”

November 20, 2010

“Security..Feels Me” (Song Parody) by Rick London c2010 sung to The Who “See Me Feel Me”

 

Dedicated to my wife Lee Hiller-London

 

Security,
Feels me,
Sees me,
Perhaps a chablis?

More feelin’ me,
Squeeze me,
Frisk me,
Is this for free?

Suspicious Airline Passenger by Londons Times Cartoons

 

New York 80s sex bars weren’t even this sick,
You see me nude, now you’re in heat,
Normally, I’d spray with cayenne,
I’m just frequent flyer meat.

My behinds nude, guess you’ve seen millions,
Don’t you feel this is too gory,
Doesn’t matter if my fly’s open,
Go ahead with  your dirty deed.

All this time together, but we might not click,
This kind of behavior belongs ‘tween the sheets,
What’s on your face? Oh its a sick grin,
Wipe that excitement off your feet.

Hey stop that gawking at what you see jigglin’,
She’s no bomber, that’s just Aunt Bea,
Hang on to your yang it’s not going yin,
Let go of my flag, its not Old Glory.

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In addition to being a songwriter, Rick London is also f0under of Londons Times Cartoons, the #1 ranked offbeat cartoon on the Internet.  He also has opened numerous online shops that sell funny gifts bearing his cartoon images.  He also is founder and designer of the world’s only famous love quote shoes, Shoes That Amuse, and runs a cartoon blog about his various ventures. Follow him on Twitter @RickLondon.

Londons Times Cartoons Publishes 13th Anniversary Book

July 16, 2010

Founded in 1997 in a rural Ms warehouse, Londons Times has grown in 13 years to be one of the largest if not the largest inventory of offbeat cartoons on the Internet.

In 2005 Google ranked it the #1 cartoon where it has remained so ever since. In 2008, MSN also ranked it #1 and it remains so with MSN.

Today, on London’s 56th birthday, his first book “Our Favorites” was published, a compilation of what he considers his best cartoons from his collection into a picture book.

Founder Rick London says, “My wife Lee and I chose our favorite cartoons from our inventory. We decided to include 60 full page full color cartoons for the book, and create a series.

London continues to create cartoons with his Londons Times team and they appear on his main offbeat cartoons site

Five Ways Online Retailers Can Survive The Summer (Beyond Twitter & facebook)

July 8, 2010

Click To Enlarge

There ain’t no cure for the summertime retail blues….or is there? Historically, retailers dread the

summer as far as sales are concerned. Some even close shop for long periods of time. I remember

one brick and mortar store that closed the entire summer. People just don’t want to go out

in the sweltering heat.

One might think that would be an advantage to the online retailer and in many ways it is, if he/she

wants it to be. People are still people and we are creatures of habit so we tend to sock away extra

funds to start buying in September through early December for holiday gifts.

There are ways an online retailer can help him or herself as well as clients by keeping up with

trends.

One might have to live on Mars to know that the economy is suffering; and, even then chances are

the news has saturated other planets. Face it folks, it’s rough.

But people still will buy gifts and collectibles. What can a retailer do to fill that void. My stores

decided to drop most of its items that retail for over $25 and focus more on items that run from

the $.99  to $15 range. Yes we still cater to those who prefer the more expensive gifts, but our

cartoon postcards,  buttons, magnets, and basic tees are shipped worldwide daily. The economy

has affected everyone  everywhere, but, if the retailer listens to what the customer wants, the

customer will buy.

With millions of online retail stores on the Internet, how does one become a squeaky wheel? There

are lots of ways to do so. I am doing one now by writing an article. But one can’t just write an

article and “they will come”. The article has to offer at least a few pieces of information of value to

both the retailer and client.

Many simply focus on Twitter, “talk” to “friends” and feel that does the trick. Same with facebook.

Both couldn’t be further from the truth. Backlinks are what drives people to ones site, and they

can,in fact be found on Twitter and facebook, if the member places them there, but also in articles

and article directories, blogs and blog directories, social bookmarking sites, pinging their blogs,

and  a multitude of other proven techniques that put the social marketer head and heals above the

basic Twitterer or facebook fanatic. I am not putting down those social networks. I use them

and do so successfully. I have just come to know they are not “magic” and if one puts all his/her

eggs in their baskets, they end up branding Twitter and Facebook more than they do themselves.

Some still use ppc (pay per click) advertising such as Google Adwords, MSN Search etc. They

can be very effective, and I used to use them, but with all the free opportunities to use backlinks

to ones shop, and even more specifically to a particular product, and even a place for keyword

tags, I see paid ads as becoming somewhat outdated. I could be wrong; but I’d prefer to write an

article or a blog with a backlink. It is free, and is another expense I don’t have (advertising) giving

me yet another reason to keep the prices lower to the end buyer.

If the idea of article marketing, tweaking or even changing your sites keywords and metatags,

pinging, twitter blasts, twitter scheduled regular tweets, facebook management, blog and web

upkeep boggles the mind, it is not only a good idea, it is mandatory to find a professional

affordable web promotion firm.

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Rick London is a cartoonist, writer, designer, and online retailer.  He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997.  It has been the #1 Google ranked offbeat cartoon since 2005 and MSN #1 ranked since 2008. London founded the world’s only famous love quote shoes, ShoesThatAmuse.com in 2007 which has been featured in USA Today and worldwide on the AP Wire. He owns numerous online shops featuring his #1 cartoon on funny tees, cards, mugs etc such as RickLondonCollection.com.  London owns the premiere SEO marketing firm with his wife Lee Hiller-London which offers affordable web promotion and design,   Pen and Ink, Inc.   He is a native of the Ms. Gulf Coast and donates a percentage of each sale to Gulf Wildlife and other animal causes.

“BP Sad Company” by Rick London Sung To “Bad Company”

July 7, 2010

Sad Company” (By Rick London c2010) To The Tune Of “Bad Company” by “Bad Company”

Dedicated To My Wife Lee Hiller-London

Click To Enlarge

No mackerel shad, thanks to BP,
Dying dolphins, struggling in your greed.

A company so badly run,
Killed our whales with no whaling gun,
Oh 500 miles of tar balls on the sand,
Thanks to BP,

An Iranian Oil Company,
They first tried to deny,
Persian Oil Company,
All the wildlife died,
What a way to die.

Coast Guard & BP Patrols,
The Gulf Coast is appalled,
You claim to be British but your stocks are in Tehran,
Do you realize you’re hellbound?
At Grand Isle you create quite a flame
And Pensacola Bay.

BP needs to leave,
They gave it their best try,
It’s a sad company,
11 men have died.
All the fish have fried
SOLO

Oil grab,
This corrupt company,
All toxic debris,
Everything has died,
Remove your oil bit,
Sad company, Oh yeah—yeah
BP’s a sad company,
Everything has died.

4 generations of family business grieve,
Your heads in the sand,
BP needs to leave,
The entire Gulf & Bay,
Once clean now dirty,
Hold the tartar sauce,

Yeah,
BP’s a sad company,
Spill prevented with drilling mud.

Click To Enlarge

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Rick London is a songwriter, cartoonist and designer. He founded Londons Times Cartoons which have been Google #1 ranked offbeat cartoons since 2005 and MSN #1 ranked since 2008. London founded and designs Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous  love quote shoes. He has numerous licensed cartoon funny gift shops such as Rick LondonWear where he donates a percentage of all Funny BP Tees & Gift profits to Gulf causes. . He writes parody songs, and plans to write one every week until BP plugs the hole and cleans up every inch of the Gulf. He is auditioning bands/musicans. Please send audio, video or link to info@LondonsTimes.us. London is donating his half of all music profits to various Gulf Wildlife Causes.

“Mississippi Sound” by Rick London c2010 (Sung To The Tune Of “Mrs. Robinson” by S&G)

June 28, 2010

Mississippi Sound” by Rick London c2010 (To the tune of Simon & Garfunkel’s

Ms Robinson”

Dedicated to my wife: Lee Hiller-London

Click To Enlarge

BP’s oil destroyed the Mississippi Sound,
The birds have died as well as fish below (a death so slow),
God help you please, Mississippi Sound,
The dolphins need a place where they can play,
Will BP pay?

YouTube puts up news coverage but you remove these video files,
The ocean’s a living hell along with the continental shelf.
The Gulf was once a place wildlife called home.

And look at all the destruction and its only just begun,
Have you not heard of quid pro quo? (Resentment grows).
At least no fear of whaling guns, as there are none.
No pelicans no birds of prey,
(An abandoned Bay).

Capping it is iffy may cause another spill to flow,
Most of us would be imprisoned for this mistake.
Meanwhile Deep Horizon emits a hellish flare.
The economy has hit the skids.

I remember tourists coming here to have fun,
We now know about your balloon and pony show.
I miss my Mississippi Sound,
Heaven knows its where I grew up and played.
Another day, its gone away.

Now its just a place where BP oil was strewn,
BP has sealed the wildlife’s fate.
Have you done this all along would you admit?
Or just too much to lose?
And a tv campaign designed to confuse.

Where’s our way of life we had a long time ago?
Its gone BP because of you (Everyone will lose)
Why did you destroy the Mississippi Sound,
(Why do you stay? Please leave we can only pray).

Rick London is a writer, designer, cartoonist and parody song writer. He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997; #1 Google ranked offbeat cartoons since 2005, and MSN #1 ranked since 2008. His goal is to write one BP parody song per week about the Gulf Coast Spill; he is a native of south Mississippi. He is currently auditioning bands/and or musicians to record his songs. He is donating 100% of his half to Gulf Coast causes. It is optional for the recording band and/or musician to also donate. The above cartoon is available at Rick LondonWear on funny mugs, tees, etc.  Sales from this item will also benefit Gulf causes. To audition: Send video, audio or link to info@LondonsTimes.us. We generally respond within a week.

McChrystal Lost His Pistol But Got His Picture On The Cover Of The Rolling Stone

June 23, 2010

This song is dedicated  to all our fallen heroes (and their families); soldiers who have fought and died in Afghanistan.  Londons Times Cartoons is contributing 100% of our half of the  proceeds to The Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund and challenge all to give to this amazing fund which helps families of our fallen soldiers. Give at http://www.FallenHeroes.com.

Also we are seeking a band to record this song.  Please send audio or video to info@LondonsTimes.us to audition. We will choose within a few weeks. Bands do not have to donate  their half to the fund. We only recommend to donate something. This matching cartoon has been published on tees, mugs, clothing, etc.  and 100% of proceeds from our gifts and publishing also benefit this fund.  Thank you.  Rick London, CEO, Rick London Group.

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Blunder With The Rolling Stone (Song Parody by Rick London c2010) To The Tune Of Dr. Hook’s “Cover Of The Rolling Stone”

click to enlarge

Ah ha ha I believe anything. Hey StanLAY McChrystal… from the military you’re barred.
Looks like your career’s reached a bit of a plateau,
(The Prez has decided to replace you with a real hero General Petraeus)
The military has a conduct code you’ve always known,
I’m sure you’ve gotten thrills, think of all the kills from all the soiree’s you’ve flown,
But you gave up your pistol, just to get your picture on the cover of The Rolling Stone.

Rolling Stone, we understand power is your lover,

Stoned. Did you smoke much pot with your mother?

Stoned, is there anybody left to face?

Since your Blunder with The Rolling Stone,

(Don’t let me instill fear,  Stan)

You had the NATO and U.S. Forces from the Navy To The Marines,
Is that guy’s name “Bite Me”?
Time to sell that limousine.
And now your fate is sealed and signed,
Cause you’re career’s already blown,
Because you spout fiction, due to power addiction to the reporter at the Rolling Stone

Looks like from here on out you’ll be living undercover
Alone, Think you could move back in with your mother?
Gone, was it worth it just to find your face,

On the cover of the Rolling Stone.

TAKES ITS TOLL!
(Stan time to stop your bull)

With the Pat Tillman cover-up you really got a reprieve,
You kept the feds at bay.
We wonder of all your cover-ups, a lot or just a few?
Doesn’t matter now Lady Justice is about to weigh,
You’re runnin’ out of friends, on Capital Hill, ya know the type that money can buy,
Like Dylan once asked “Hows it feel to be all alone?”
In the limelight was it worth it being that demure?
When you blundered with The Rolling Stone

Rolling Stone- Better hope it don’t make it to the cover,
Your stoned, don’t you wish you were someone other,
The Prez is on the phone..about being stupid with The Rolling Stone.

Don’t you wish you’d just gone bowling?
Or found yourself a long-term lover?
You know you’re really just too sloppy

Since you blundered with the Rolling Stone, .

(Man, you look like a cow, just being a grunt, criticizin’ everybody. Shoot.)

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Rick London is a designer, parody song writer, and cartoonist. He founded Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons, Londons Times (also MSN’s #1) and its #1 ranked cartoon collectible shops such  as RickLondonWear where the above cartoon image can bee found on funny tees mugs clothing and many other gift items. 100% of our proceeds benefits The Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund.  His main site has lured 8.7 million visitors since 2005.  He founded and creates the world’s only love quote shoes ShoesThatAmuse.com recently featured in USA Today and APWire.

We’ll Make It Right (By Rick London c2010) BP Song

June 17, 2010

We’ll Make It Right by Rick London c2010 Song Parody To the Tune of Manfred Mann’s “Blinded By The Light”

We’ll make it right, does BP think we’re all douche bags, the tv ads are getting trite,
We’ll make it right, we know its a ruse, BP attorneys prepping for a fight.
We’ll make it right. Tell that to the pelicans that can’t move, or fish that died in their plight.

Incompetent riggers cause emotional triggers, BP said 1000 barrels a day. We smelled a rat.

Even Halliburton Told-er but BP was feeling bolder, then drilled deep into the ocean ground

Then in a warm Gulf summer breeze, 11 men were nowhere to be found

Even though BP said Deep Horizone was surely sound.

They broke every law,
Their spilling greasy juice to the Gulf Coast was such a blight,
We’ll make it right. They said dispersants would make such a pretty sight.
We’ll make it right. Drilled in spite of engineer’s red light.
We’ll make it right. I’ve got a nifty British accent so you know I’m so polite.

BP’s got 10-minute trained skimmers, to get the oil off our dinner. Now we fish from rivers & lakes

BP might hang around & do right what they’ve done wrong, after all 20 billion’s at stake,
But don’t start feeling sorry, they don’t have to borrow, 2 billion a month is their take,
So Want My Life Back Hayward was feeling kind of wayward, and acting like he was sure on our side,
But with baby blues a cryin’, I’m tellin’ you Tony’s lyin’, he’s about to take us for more of a ride,

They say we must be….
Blinded by their lies, while they rot our labor’s fruits in the middle of the night,
We’ll make it right.

Maybe if we’re lucky Shell or Conoco/Phillips
Will acquire BP, before they fall out of sight.
To clean up this toxic waste site.

—— guitar solo ——

Maybe its time we get out of the oil biz,
And look for alternative energies like coconut fizz
Plumes of oil are all ove The Gulf thanks to the BP plumes
Please make it clean again from Florida to Louisiana and good Ole Ms.
We’ve got an addiction to 10W30 & its making air dirty & you know we must be released,
There are no rehab clinics, we’ve got to bear and grin it, and get rid of the ugly beast.
The resources are there, hybrid cars from here to France, we just need someone to finance,
It sounds so forlorn to rely on oil from corn but someone’s gotta give it a chance,
It’s clean and safe and no oil to muck around.

BP said they……
Will make things right…..they’ll put a bandaid on it and get on a British Airways flight.
We will make it right. And if you believe us we’ll sell you a rig at Grand Isle late one night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
{the following two sections are sung simultaneously}

(7 Times)) ~ We will make it right.~Every grain of sand will be whiter than white
~ We will make it right,

2) ~Repeat 1st Verse

Any employee that squeals on BP will get fired

They’re using intimidation, fear and fright.

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Click To Enlarge

Rick London is a writer, designer and cartoonist.  He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997 which has been Google’s#1 ranked offbeat cartoon since 2005 and MSN’s #1 since 2008. Londons Times remains number one as do London’s offbeat cartoon gift shops.  London created this cartoon and manufactured about 40 products that can be purchased online. 10% of all sales benefit The Audobon Society and WWF.

Small People (The BP Song) C2010 by Rick London

June 17, 2010

 Small People Got Nobody (The BP Song)
by Rick London C2010 to the tune of
Randy Newman's “Short People”

                                                  For My Wife Lee Hiller-London


  We got oily hands & birds that can't fly, 
 All from BP's (Big People) press release of lies,
  Some beaches still clean but its a nightmare underneath
 Who knows the disease lurking at 5000 feet.

{Refrain}
 Well, BP (Big People) loves their small people,
        Creates escrows for small people, 
         Just when we thought BP had no more bull, 
                       They say the coast is clear.

      On Facebook all BP has no feedback, just replies, 
              They won't tell us Louisiana oyster beds are dry,
  We from the Gulf know they care not if we live or die, 
          It's not our parent's world.

    We're small people just worker bees, 
                       Help us God above. 

     There's a few crab legs left but taste like petrol, 
  By the end of this no tellin' how much BP 'll owe, 
 Be sure to lawyer up and don't fall asleep
      Hayward wants his life back, what a nasty little creep.
 They try to bar us from our beaches; have they lost
their minds?
  I think all the execs outta be servin' Parchman
 Prison time.
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Rick London was born and raised on the Ms. Gulf Coast. He created this cartoon and manufactured it on about 40 gifts and collectibles, tees, mugs, etc. 10% of all sales benefit The Audobon Society and WWF to help what London says "Heal and salvage what wildlife remains on our precious Gulf that BP whose lives B.P. recklessly destroyed."