Posts Tagged ‘funny’

Is Rupert On My Telephone (Song Parody by Rick London c2011) Sung To How Long Has This Been Going On by Ace

July 19, 2011


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              For my DW Lee Hiller-London

Is Rupert hacking Hugh Grant’s cell phone?
What’s that clicking on my Smart Phone?
In parliamentary court Rupert sits with his son,
        Spinning their phone hacking scheme,
Surely Louise Mensch has her suspicions,
And Piers Morgan’s new book shows he has a hacking degree.

Rupert better prepare to be a “has been”,
As the scales of justice weigh,
He’s had  years of riding by shark fin,
           Now stuck on the dock of the bay.

What’s that clicking on my telephone?
Is Rupert on Hugh Grant’s cell phone?    

(Musical interlude)

With all of your courtroom legal guns,
You’ll need more than The Dream Team,
You spin and old story till its spun,
Parliament’s not quite as dumb as he seems
Rupert’s defense is looking a bit slim,
He says his employees betrayed,
Rebekah Brooks is his Stevie-Nicks wannabe broody hen.

Is News Of The World hacking my cell hone?
Is that click Rupert’s listening on?
Is he a kindergartener overgrown?
Is that Rupert on my phone?
Looks like Fleet Street is gonna be a Murdoch-Free Zone

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Rick London is a songwriter, designer, and cartoonist. He founded Londons Times Cartoons and gifts which have remained the #1 offbeat cartoons & offbeat cartoon gifts on the Internet since 2005 with an inventory of over 1/4 million funny gifts bearing his licensed images.  London is married to nature photographer Lee Hiller-London who operates Hike Our Planet blog and designs merchandise from her photography and graphic images. Both are active in animal environmental and veteran causes.

Rupert Murdoch Is A Bulldog (Parody Song by Rick London c2011) To The Tune Of 3 Dog Night’s Jeremiah Was A Bullfrog

July 19, 2011


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Dedicated to my DW Lee Hiller-London

 

Rupert Murdoch is a bulldog,
NewsCorps is his narcissist shrine,
Now that his useless whistle blower’s dead,
In the air is scent of media mogul swine,
But Rupert and Sonny Boy Are in Court trying to shine

Singin’
{Refrain}
News Of The World,
What happened to the Aussie sacred cow?
Whistleblower Sean Hoare swimmin’ with the fishes of the deep blue sea
And you shouldn’t have hacked Hugh Grant ya see.

Too bad for News Of The World,                            
A BP Cover-Up Deja Vu,
If I were Rupert I’d throw away and change my drawers,
And listen to British court’s diligence due.

Goodbye Cash Cow.
{Refrain}

 

With all my assets on freeze

Love to hack those phones,
But don’t pick on me I’m likely your Internet provider
And my FX Network has the best reruns,
And only toddlers watch Nickleodeon

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I am a mountain man who happens to enjoy writing parody songs. I founded Londons Times Cartoons and gifts in 1997 and has been the #1 offbeat cartoon on the Internet since 2005.  I am married to the very talented nature photographer Lee HillerLondon. You can see her work at Hike Our Planet Nature & Wildlife Blog.

“Yes You’re Gay” To The Tune Of The Beatles “Yesterday” by Rick London c2010

December 9, 2010

 

Yes, you’re gay,

The Tea Party feels you need someone else to lay,
Throwing Deuteronomy in your face,
Oh they believe you can be changed.

Marriage Decrees,
Is something only for straights you see,
Only straights get to make whoopie,
Get used to 2nd class its what you be.
Why your genetic code’s what it is, I don’t know,  I cannot say

Why Tea Party thinks you sin, Ken Mehlman may have something to say.

Yes you’re gay,
Now the right wing they keep dossiers,
On sexual actions that you might purvey,
They don’t believe you are born gay.

Why they think like this, that sodom is the San Francisco Gay Parade
Maybe you shouldn’t have worn that thong, you’ve been outed the Tea Party wayyyy.

Yes your gay,
In the closet you must quietly play.
Maybe one day you’ll have your day, when the Tea Party has gone away,
And then your gayness you’ll proudly display.

Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.


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Rick London is a writer, songwriter, cartoonist and designer. He founded Google and MSN’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons and funny gifts, Londons Times Cartoons and Gifts. He also founded Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous love quote shoes, which has been featured favorably on APWire and USA Today.  He is active in animal and wildlife causes and is an avid hiker and mountain climber. He and his wife Lee Hiller-London live and hike in the Ouachita Mountains of Arkansas

“Security Feels Me” (Song Parody by Rick London c2010) To The Tune Of The Who “See Me, Feel Me”

November 20, 2010

“Security..Feels Me” (Song Parody) by Rick London c2010 sung to The Who “See Me Feel Me”

 

Dedicated to my wife Lee Hiller-London

 

Security,
Feels me,
Sees me,
Perhaps a chablis?

More feelin’ me,
Squeeze me,
Frisk me,
Is this for free?

Suspicious Airline Passenger by Londons Times Cartoons

 

New York 80s sex bars weren’t even this sick,
You see me nude, now you’re in heat,
Normally, I’d spray with cayenne,
I’m just frequent flyer meat.

My behinds nude, guess you’ve seen millions,
Don’t you feel this is too gory,
Doesn’t matter if my fly’s open,
Go ahead with  your dirty deed.

All this time together, but we might not click,
This kind of behavior belongs ‘tween the sheets,
What’s on your face? Oh its a sick grin,
Wipe that excitement off your feet.

Hey stop that gawking at what you see jigglin’,
She’s no bomber, that’s just Aunt Bea,
Hang on to your yang it’s not going yin,
Let go of my flag, its not Old Glory.

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In addition to being a songwriter, Rick London is also f0under of Londons Times Cartoons, the #1 ranked offbeat cartoon on the Internet.  He also has opened numerous online shops that sell funny gifts bearing his cartoon images.  He also is founder and designer of the world’s only famous love quote shoes, Shoes That Amuse, and runs a cartoon blog about his various ventures. Follow him on Twitter @RickLondon.

Londons Times Cartoons Publishes 13th Anniversary Book

July 16, 2010

Founded in 1997 in a rural Ms warehouse, Londons Times has grown in 13 years to be one of the largest if not the largest inventory of offbeat cartoons on the Internet.

In 2005 Google ranked it the #1 cartoon where it has remained so ever since. In 2008, MSN also ranked it #1 and it remains so with MSN.

Today, on London’s 56th birthday, his first book “Our Favorites” was published, a compilation of what he considers his best cartoons from his collection into a picture book.

Founder Rick London says, “My wife Lee and I chose our favorite cartoons from our inventory. We decided to include 60 full page full color cartoons for the book, and create a series.

London continues to create cartoons with his Londons Times team and they appear on his main offbeat cartoons site

Five Ways Online Retailers Can Survive The Summer (Beyond Twitter & facebook)

July 8, 2010

Click To Enlarge

There ain’t no cure for the summertime retail blues….or is there? Historically, retailers dread the

summer as far as sales are concerned. Some even close shop for long periods of time. I remember

one brick and mortar store that closed the entire summer. People just don’t want to go out

in the sweltering heat.

One might think that would be an advantage to the online retailer and in many ways it is, if he/she

wants it to be. People are still people and we are creatures of habit so we tend to sock away extra

funds to start buying in September through early December for holiday gifts.

There are ways an online retailer can help him or herself as well as clients by keeping up with

trends.

One might have to live on Mars to know that the economy is suffering; and, even then chances are

the news has saturated other planets. Face it folks, it’s rough.

But people still will buy gifts and collectibles. What can a retailer do to fill that void. My stores

decided to drop most of its items that retail for over $25 and focus more on items that run from

the $.99  to $15 range. Yes we still cater to those who prefer the more expensive gifts, but our

cartoon postcards,  buttons, magnets, and basic tees are shipped worldwide daily. The economy

has affected everyone  everywhere, but, if the retailer listens to what the customer wants, the

customer will buy.

With millions of online retail stores on the Internet, how does one become a squeaky wheel? There

are lots of ways to do so. I am doing one now by writing an article. But one can’t just write an

article and “they will come”. The article has to offer at least a few pieces of information of value to

both the retailer and client.

Many simply focus on Twitter, “talk” to “friends” and feel that does the trick. Same with facebook.

Both couldn’t be further from the truth. Backlinks are what drives people to ones site, and they

can,in fact be found on Twitter and facebook, if the member places them there, but also in articles

and article directories, blogs and blog directories, social bookmarking sites, pinging their blogs,

and  a multitude of other proven techniques that put the social marketer head and heals above the

basic Twitterer or facebook fanatic. I am not putting down those social networks. I use them

and do so successfully. I have just come to know they are not “magic” and if one puts all his/her

eggs in their baskets, they end up branding Twitter and Facebook more than they do themselves.

Some still use ppc (pay per click) advertising such as Google Adwords, MSN Search etc. They

can be very effective, and I used to use them, but with all the free opportunities to use backlinks

to ones shop, and even more specifically to a particular product, and even a place for keyword

tags, I see paid ads as becoming somewhat outdated. I could be wrong; but I’d prefer to write an

article or a blog with a backlink. It is free, and is another expense I don’t have (advertising) giving

me yet another reason to keep the prices lower to the end buyer.

If the idea of article marketing, tweaking or even changing your sites keywords and metatags,

pinging, twitter blasts, twitter scheduled regular tweets, facebook management, blog and web

upkeep boggles the mind, it is not only a good idea, it is mandatory to find a professional

affordable web promotion firm.

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Rick London is a cartoonist, writer, designer, and online retailer.  He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997.  It has been the #1 Google ranked offbeat cartoon since 2005 and MSN #1 ranked since 2008. London founded the world’s only famous love quote shoes, ShoesThatAmuse.com in 2007 which has been featured in USA Today and worldwide on the AP Wire. He owns numerous online shops featuring his #1 cartoon on funny tees, cards, mugs etc such as RickLondonCollection.com.  London owns the premiere SEO marketing firm with his wife Lee Hiller-London which offers affordable web promotion and design,   Pen and Ink, Inc.   He is a native of the Ms. Gulf Coast and donates a percentage of each sale to Gulf Wildlife and other animal causes.

McChrystal Lost His Pistol But Got His Picture On The Cover Of The Rolling Stone

June 23, 2010

This song is dedicated  to all our fallen heroes (and their families); soldiers who have fought and died in Afghanistan.  Londons Times Cartoons is contributing 100% of our half of the  proceeds to The Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund and challenge all to give to this amazing fund which helps families of our fallen soldiers. Give at http://www.FallenHeroes.com.

Also we are seeking a band to record this song.  Please send audio or video to info@LondonsTimes.us to audition. We will choose within a few weeks. Bands do not have to donate  their half to the fund. We only recommend to donate something. This matching cartoon has been published on tees, mugs, clothing, etc.  and 100% of proceeds from our gifts and publishing also benefit this fund.  Thank you.  Rick London, CEO, Rick London Group.

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Blunder With The Rolling Stone (Song Parody by Rick London c2010) To The Tune Of Dr. Hook’s “Cover Of The Rolling Stone”

click to enlarge

Ah ha ha I believe anything. Hey StanLAY McChrystal… from the military you’re barred.
Looks like your career’s reached a bit of a plateau,
(The Prez has decided to replace you with a real hero General Petraeus)
The military has a conduct code you’ve always known,
I’m sure you’ve gotten thrills, think of all the kills from all the soiree’s you’ve flown,
But you gave up your pistol, just to get your picture on the cover of The Rolling Stone.

Rolling Stone, we understand power is your lover,

Stoned. Did you smoke much pot with your mother?

Stoned, is there anybody left to face?

Since your Blunder with The Rolling Stone,

(Don’t let me instill fear,  Stan)

You had the NATO and U.S. Forces from the Navy To The Marines,
Is that guy’s name “Bite Me”?
Time to sell that limousine.
And now your fate is sealed and signed,
Cause you’re career’s already blown,
Because you spout fiction, due to power addiction to the reporter at the Rolling Stone

Looks like from here on out you’ll be living undercover
Alone, Think you could move back in with your mother?
Gone, was it worth it just to find your face,

On the cover of the Rolling Stone.

TAKES ITS TOLL!
(Stan time to stop your bull)

With the Pat Tillman cover-up you really got a reprieve,
You kept the feds at bay.
We wonder of all your cover-ups, a lot or just a few?
Doesn’t matter now Lady Justice is about to weigh,
You’re runnin’ out of friends, on Capital Hill, ya know the type that money can buy,
Like Dylan once asked “Hows it feel to be all alone?”
In the limelight was it worth it being that demure?
When you blundered with The Rolling Stone

Rolling Stone- Better hope it don’t make it to the cover,
Your stoned, don’t you wish you were someone other,
The Prez is on the phone..about being stupid with The Rolling Stone.

Don’t you wish you’d just gone bowling?
Or found yourself a long-term lover?
You know you’re really just too sloppy

Since you blundered with the Rolling Stone, .

(Man, you look like a cow, just being a grunt, criticizin’ everybody. Shoot.)

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Rick London is a designer, parody song writer, and cartoonist. He founded Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons, Londons Times (also MSN’s #1) and its #1 ranked cartoon collectible shops such  as RickLondonWear where the above cartoon image can bee found on funny tees mugs clothing and many other gift items. 100% of our proceeds benefits The Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund.  His main site has lured 8.7 million visitors since 2005.  He founded and creates the world’s only love quote shoes ShoesThatAmuse.com recently featured in USA Today and APWire.

“Twitter” Parody Song by Rick London c2010 To Tune Of “Money” Pink Floyd

March 10, 2010

For my Love/DF @LeeHiller

Pink Floyd Another Time, But We Still Love Them

Twitter, Play or Flay,
Midnight In The Garden Of Good & Evil On Monitor Display.
Listen, its not Ebay.

Twitter, answer before your browser crashes,
You could be labeled a non-response snob with no

MY D/F Love @LeeHiller (And It may sound funny, but she's gonna get her money back! A doo doo doo doo doo doo...

following or fans,

200,000 followers might be time to clean an extreme Twitter Stream,
Someone just RT’d me with the Hawaii 5-0 theme,

Danno got the money back
But not before someone hacked my Twitter profile,
Keep your hands off her stash CNN-Tech Guru, Uh oh, here comes a “Cap Attack”.

My honey, she got hit,
But she got right up from the mat,
And “the player” doesn’t know but he’s oon be laying flat.

We have this fidelity,
Boring pay our bills no debt,
A newspaper from Nepal asks me if “I have any regrets”.

The Nepal News

(Sax and guitar solos)

Tis the right seasonings, its about thyme,
See my fair @Lee
But don’t take a slice of that pie.

My honey, was at Ebay,
Is the Internet’s Dr. Eveel,
Now she has her own brand here to stay.

Twitters a great place 4 monthly lifetime ties,
If nothing else it proves that life’s unfair,
Piper must be paid,
A MidSummer’s Day,
A sewerage Day,
Or a Spiritual Bouquet,
Twitters here to stay.
A Salute to Ev and Biz,
We know them to be very bright and alright.

A Princess Shines At The Oscars (Our Kathy Ireland)!!!!


Biz & Ev Brainstorming At Twitter (So we'll be nervous)

One Princess at Oscars Red Carpet got a deliberate slight,
The princess gave a designer jewelry left hook & Governor’s Ball smashing blow & super high rankings (and had just help renew/rebuild lives in Haiti)… some nuts at keyboards are cruisin’ for a bruisin.
“Yeah!”
Whey do some forget to think,
I know, they are really drunk all of the time.
Why he wasn’t coming up on freely, after Lee was twittering in CAPS and
Screaming and telling him why he wasn’t coming up on freely.
It came as a heavy blow, but others to his surprise, will sort the matter out.

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Aside from being a parody songwriter Rick London is founder of the Internet’s #1 offbeat cartoon, Londons Times.  He also founded the world’s only famous love quote shoes, ShoesThatAmuse.com, and is a fashion brand designer for actress/author Mariel Hemingway Collectibles. Rick owns numerous licensed image cartoon collectible shops that sell tees, cards, mugs etc featuring his “out there” cartoons.

“Gluten” by Rick London Sung To “Something” by The Beatles

November 16, 2009

Gluten” Parody Song by Rick London c2009
 To The Tune Of “Something” by The Beatles

                            Dedicated to my DF Lee Hiller whom I love. Also
                            dedicated to our true friend Mariel Hemingway who cared
                             enough to educate us back to a healthy lifestyle.



beatles  tall 3333

Gluten-Free Beatles

    Gluten's put in food so starch will be removed,  A Latin word for “glue” & try to recover,
 It has prolamins to give you celiac disease
   You could use a box of Blisscuits now,
      So you don't lose your entire Tao.

   No amount of advertising polyphonic prose 
   Nor even the finest restauranteur, 
   Gluten has enough hormones for a woman to grow goatees
  Than super-sized fries and a fast food cow

      You're wondering why my belly grows, 
  Wheat bread and vintage bordeaux, 
 You won't see me on #DWTS or other ABC shows, 
    My belly's grown, can't reach my toes. 

Lethargy so intense that I must doze, 
  Razputin & avacados at my next Super Wal-Mart shopping spree.
   Quit the hormonal Kentucky Fried fowl, 
     And mood swings that turn into black clouds..

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Rick London is an author, cartoonist and entrepreneur.
 He's been featured in The Wall St. Journal, ABC with
 Peter Jennings, CBS Morning With Paula Zahn,
 Bill O'Reilly, New York Daily News, Glamor Magazine,
 Playboy Magazine, PBS, NPR and many other media outlets.
 He is the founder and creator of Londons Times Cartoons
ranked Google and MSN's number one offbeat cartoon and
founder of Shoes That Amuse, the worlds only love quotation
shoes. He owns a number of cartoon stores that feature
 his images on over 100,000 products in such stores
as Rick London Collection and others. He and his fiance'
 Lee Hiller co-founded the full service web design
and seo firm Pen And Ink Inc,
and work together in the Ouichata mountains of Arkansas.
 Both are animal and nature lovers and active in both causes.
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“Charge It” New Parody To Ray Charles “Georgia” By Rick London

September 10, 2009

Charge It” to Ray Charles “Georgia” Song Parody by Rick London c2009

dave_xray

For my Df @LeeHiller

Charge it, Charge it,
Even when my Visa bill’s due,
And I know it’s wrong,
But charge it, and it’s mine.

I say Charge it,
Charge it,
Amex says they’ll sue,
I’ve become a credit engineer,
From Ebay vintage, to Tom Morris’ “Twisdom” on Amazon I find.

The first day Mastercard came to me,
Retail doors opened thought I’d never see,
Turned my credit rating into debris,

I said Charge it,
Ohh Charge it,
Buicks or thongs,
Can Charge it, and its mine.

All the things I could buy for Lee,
As if we were the bourgeoisie
Until 30 days it seems like free,
Until the bill is due.

ray charles 2 piano winding

Charge it,
Charge it,
Doesn’t all of mankind?
Is this new 10K teak table so wrong?
I just charged it, it was mine.

When the economy’s not strong,
I can charge it, and it’s mine.

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In addition to being a parody songwriter, Rick London is founder of Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoon, Londons Times.  He owns numerous funny gifts shops including Rick London Gifts which sell his licensed cartoon gifts on tees, mugs, etc. Along with his fiance’ Lee Hiller, they founded and operate a professional SEO and web design firm known as Pen And Ink Inc.