Archive for the ‘offbeat news’ Category

“Egyptian Revolution” by Rick London c2011 To The Tune Of The Beatles “Revolution”

February 13, 2011

For my wife Lee Hiller-London

Egypt had a revolution,
Mubarek had to go,
Order of a new world,

Beatles: Click To Enlarge

As they formed the revolution,

Soliman proved he was no pro. Arm Wrestling by Londons Times Cartoons (Click To Enlarge)
facebook & Twitter helped you change the world,
You pulled it off without firing a gun,
There’s no plagues, locusts or droughts
It was in Tahrir Square all night
Only Muslim Brotherhood may try to cause blight.

The army dropped their ammunition,
And get a billion more ya know,
Hamas doesn’t stand a chance,
Algeria, Syria & Gaza on the run,
All Israel’s foes,

Zuckerberg Vs Mubarek (Click To Enlarge)

But now their emperors wear no clothes.
Now Israel & Egypt has a lot of money,
They’ve dropped all their hate,
Syria, Yemen, & Algeria better circumnavigate
Just remember facebook can bite you with its bytes,
Israel & U.S. was nervous for just one night,
Cairo is safe!

Ah, ah, ah, ah, oy…  yeah,

Mubarek: No Evil Here. Move Along Kids (Click To Enlarge)

You’re writing an Egyptian Constitution,
Drinking diet coke and eating Cheetos,
First one ever on a laptop on a bed,
Is Mubarek in an institution?
He’d be better off ya know,
Now you see he’s not so thoroughbred,
Can’t ya see Mohamed ElBaradei was late to lead the show,

Google’s Wael Ghonim is much better anyhow

 

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In addition to being a parody songwriter, Rick London founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997. Since that time he has built it to be ranked #1 offbeat cartoon by Google & MSN for the past 5 years. He has also created numerous stores featuring funny gifts bearing his cartoons. He is a shoes designer who created the world’s only famous love quote shoes, ShoesThatAmuse.com.  He enjoys nature, hiking, animals, and being with his wife Lee Hiller-London, a nature/wildlife photographer in his spare time.


“Security Feels Me” (Song Parody by Rick London c2010) To The Tune Of The Who “See Me, Feel Me”

November 20, 2010

“Security..Feels Me” (Song Parody) by Rick London c2010 sung to The Who “See Me Feel Me”

 

Dedicated to my wife Lee Hiller-London

 

Security,
Feels me,
Sees me,
Perhaps a chablis?

More feelin’ me,
Squeeze me,
Frisk me,
Is this for free?

Suspicious Airline Passenger by Londons Times Cartoons

 

New York 80s sex bars weren’t even this sick,
You see me nude, now you’re in heat,
Normally, I’d spray with cayenne,
I’m just frequent flyer meat.

My behinds nude, guess you’ve seen millions,
Don’t you feel this is too gory,
Doesn’t matter if my fly’s open,
Go ahead with  your dirty deed.

All this time together, but we might not click,
This kind of behavior belongs ‘tween the sheets,
What’s on your face? Oh its a sick grin,
Wipe that excitement off your feet.

Hey stop that gawking at what you see jigglin’,
She’s no bomber, that’s just Aunt Bea,
Hang on to your yang it’s not going yin,
Let go of my flag, its not Old Glory.

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In addition to being a songwriter, Rick London is also f0under of Londons Times Cartoons, the #1 ranked offbeat cartoon on the Internet.  He also has opened numerous online shops that sell funny gifts bearing his cartoon images.  He also is founder and designer of the world’s only famous love quote shoes, Shoes That Amuse, and runs a cartoon blog about his various ventures. Follow him on Twitter @RickLondon.

“Mississippi Sound” by Rick London c2010 (Sung To The Tune Of “Mrs. Robinson” by S&G)

June 28, 2010

Mississippi Sound” by Rick London c2010 (To the tune of Simon & Garfunkel’s

Ms Robinson”

Dedicated to my wife: Lee Hiller-London

Click To Enlarge

BP’s oil destroyed the Mississippi Sound,
The birds have died as well as fish below (a death so slow),
God help you please, Mississippi Sound,
The dolphins need a place where they can play,
Will BP pay?

YouTube puts up news coverage but you remove these video files,
The ocean’s a living hell along with the continental shelf.
The Gulf was once a place wildlife called home.

And look at all the destruction and its only just begun,
Have you not heard of quid pro quo? (Resentment grows).
At least no fear of whaling guns, as there are none.
No pelicans no birds of prey,
(An abandoned Bay).

Capping it is iffy may cause another spill to flow,
Most of us would be imprisoned for this mistake.
Meanwhile Deep Horizon emits a hellish flare.
The economy has hit the skids.

I remember tourists coming here to have fun,
We now know about your balloon and pony show.
I miss my Mississippi Sound,
Heaven knows its where I grew up and played.
Another day, its gone away.

Now its just a place where BP oil was strewn,
BP has sealed the wildlife’s fate.
Have you done this all along would you admit?
Or just too much to lose?
And a tv campaign designed to confuse.

Where’s our way of life we had a long time ago?
Its gone BP because of you (Everyone will lose)
Why did you destroy the Mississippi Sound,
(Why do you stay? Please leave we can only pray).

Rick London is a writer, designer, cartoonist and parody song writer. He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997; #1 Google ranked offbeat cartoons since 2005, and MSN #1 ranked since 2008. His goal is to write one BP parody song per week about the Gulf Coast Spill; he is a native of south Mississippi. He is currently auditioning bands/and or musicians to record his songs. He is donating 100% of his half to Gulf Coast causes. It is optional for the recording band and/or musician to also donate. The above cartoon is available at Rick LondonWear on funny mugs, tees, etc.  Sales from this item will also benefit Gulf causes. To audition: Send video, audio or link to info@LondonsTimes.us. We generally respond within a week.

“How Can We Ask BP To Depart” (Song Parody) Tune Of Bee Gees “Mend A Broken Heart” by Rick London

June 27, 2010

How Can We Ask BP To Depart?” (Song Parody by Rick London 2010) To The Tune Of The Bee Gees “How Do You Mend A Broken Heart?”

Click To Enlarge

Dedicated to my wife Lee Hiller-London

I sit in front of cable news with my wife,
Was everything a man could want to do. And watch how BP puts the screws,
I could never see For all the wildlife & those who fish there is not tomorrow.

Black sand…Isn’t it time for BP to depart?
Now that the birds are a gooey brown.
They say August or if storms, in the spring.
They polluted the entire Mississippi Sound.
How will they bring back our white sands?
If we criticize they just chagrin.
Please help return, the sea turtles, and all that swim with fins.

Whatever BP touches once healthy is now diseased,
Even the endangered sperm whales are fried.
Those who once worked will now have to do a lifetime of borrowing……

And, Why won’t BP take Deep Horizon apart,
Just count its losses and leave town.
Forgot politics this is not left or right wing.
You’re thin veneer TV campaign does not confound.
Will we ever get our beaches back to tan?
Will we ever again see a brown peli-can,
How much longer does BP think we’ll just take it on the chin?

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Rick London is a writer, designer and cartoonist. He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997 which has become Google’s and MSN’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoon with over 4500 images.
He also founded the #1 offbeat cartoon gift shops one of which is The Rick London Collection.  London has a goal to write one BP parody song per week until BP plugs Deep Horizon and cleans the entire Gulf Coast.   Please send audios, videos, or links to info@LondonsTimes.us. 100% of Londons half benefits various Gulf Coast causes. The band is not required to contribute but may.

“Oil On The Water” by Rick London To Benefit Gulf Causes

June 25, 2010

Oil On The Water” (Another BP Song by Rick London) To The Tune Of Deep Purple’s “Smoke On The Water”

Trapped Brown Pelican: Click To Enlarge

Dedicated To My Wife Lee Hiller-London

Panama City Beach was like snow,
Now thousands tarballs in a line,
Love Bellingrath Gardens in Mobile,
You covered Mobile Bay with slime.

The oil zapped the fish & the birds,
Dispersements on the ocean’s ground,
BP’s spokesman said it was about done,
But the destruction had just begun.

Oil on the water,
Rig’s fire lights the sky
Oil on the water.

Eleven men down.

Now we know Hayward is a louse,
After that Tony yachted around,
Once home tomullet  snapper & sea trout,
Now nowhere to be found.

Pelicans and other birds,
Had to find another place,
But for many time was running out,
Drenched in oil from wings to face.

Oil on the water,
Rigs fire lights the sky, Is BP learning?
Oil on the water,

No wildlife around,
No dolphins play.

Within a few days the Gulf was a living hell,
More than any living thing could bare,
I watched the news with my bride and cried,
What once was is no longer there.

Much of the wildlife found is now dead,
A few lucky ones found their way to a vet,
And BP wonders why we’er pi$$ed,
Not to worry BP we’ll never forget, how you spilled….

Oil on the water,
And told us all those lies,
Oil on the water.

Oil everywhere, everywhere

Your rig burns, still now,
And you don’t like media around,
Gulf small business better be your concern, yeah
BP When will you ever learn. Just debris.
Eleven drowned.

Grand Isle water’s totally brown.

Rick London is a writer, cartoonist and parody songwriter. He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997. It has been Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoon since 2005 and MSN’s since 2008. His goal is to write one song parody about BP per week until they stop the leak and totally clean up the oil. Rick London is auditioning bands and/or musicians to record the song. London pledges his 100% of his half to various Gulf Coast wildlife refugees. Contributions are optional for the band. To audition please send audio, video or link to info@LondonsTimes.us

“BP Leaks” Song Parody To Rick James “Super Freak”

June 21, 2010

BP Leaks” A Song Parody by Rick London c2010 To The Tune Of Rick James’ “Super Freak”

Click To Enlarge

For my wife Lee Hiller-London

It makes me want to hurl,
BP comes not with frankincense and myrrh,
Tony Hayward said he was devastated hearing 11 men drowned
So BP puts dispersents in the oil and it swirls,
So we won’t see it when it hits the beach or land.
Now half the Gulf against BP has a writ
Most the beaches now are full of tar balls and grime,
Would you swim in anti-freeze?

(Refrain)


Are small people as important as their cash cow?
BP rigs leak,
The Gulf was once home to mullet, shrimp and trout,
Now brown goo is all that can be seen
Does Kevin Kostner hold the key,
Could James Cameron stop the leak,
We won’t know as BP will not concur
Deep Horizon was built upon deceit,
Now they should be read their legal rights,
For turning the Gulf into the Black Sea, yeah,
Because BP Leaks, Deep Horizon leaks,
The goo is leaking, yow
BP Leaks, BP Leaks,


Where oysters once made pearls,
And fish once laid their roe,
Now just seem like folklore,
The crap BP excretes,
Will take supertankers from Shell in the end, yeah,
It’s so obscene
Can we send them back to LondonTown?
We turn our hopes to the Prez,
Makes a small escrow with 3 years waiting
I turn on cable news and see the oil-drenched gulls,
Bp’s just obscene
(Refrain)
(Bridge)
Look around, no living things,
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!


BP Leaks, It leaks,
That oil rig leaks.
Ohhhhh
It affects every boy and girl,
Every father and mother,
Our life has been beat by BP into th egroiund,
If you think they’re through with us small people, they’ll repeat for sure,
Another one blows, Dammit.

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Rick London is a native Gulf Coast writer, designer and cartoonist.  His goal is to write a parody song every week about BP until they stop the leak and clean up the mess.  A percentage of song and/or cartoon product sales benefits various wildlife causes.  This cartoon “A Tribute To Rick James” is available on his clothing line, aprons, tees, mouse pads, and much more at his RickLondonWear.com Cartoon Collectible Shop.  Londons Times Cartoons has been the number 1 offbeat cartoon on the web since 2005.

Small People (The BP Song) C2010 by Rick London

June 17, 2010

 Small People Got Nobody (The BP Song)
by Rick London C2010 to the tune of
Randy Newman's “Short People”

                                                  For My Wife Lee Hiller-London


  We got oily hands & birds that can't fly, 
 All from BP's (Big People) press release of lies,
  Some beaches still clean but its a nightmare underneath
 Who knows the disease lurking at 5000 feet.

{Refrain}
 Well, BP (Big People) loves their small people,
        Creates escrows for small people, 
         Just when we thought BP had no more bull, 
                       They say the coast is clear.

      On Facebook all BP has no feedback, just replies, 
              They won't tell us Louisiana oyster beds are dry,
  We from the Gulf know they care not if we live or die, 
          It's not our parent's world.

    We're small people just worker bees, 
                       Help us God above. 

     There's a few crab legs left but taste like petrol, 
  By the end of this no tellin' how much BP 'll owe, 
 Be sure to lawyer up and don't fall asleep
      Hayward wants his life back, what a nasty little creep.
 They try to bar us from our beaches; have they lost
their minds?
  I think all the execs outta be servin' Parchman
 Prison time.
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Click To Enlarge

Rick London was born and raised on the Ms. Gulf Coast. He created this cartoon and manufactured it on about 40 gifts and collectibles, tees, mugs, etc. 10% of all sales benefit The Audobon Society and WWF to help what London says "Heal and salvage what wildlife remains on our precious Gulf that BP whose lives B.P. recklessly destroyed."

“12 Gauge Shotguns In National Parks” by Rick London (Sung to Chicago’s Saturday In The Park)

March 3, 2010

12-Gauge Shotguns In National Parks” (by Rick London c2010) to the tune of Chicago’s “Saturday In The Park)

Dedicated to my DF/Love Lee Hiller who has a petition to keep loaded firearms out of National Parks which will be presented to the President 7 Congress. Please take a few moments to sign it. CLICK HERE TO SIGN.

12 gauge shotguns now legal in National Parks,
Face to face or even drive-by
Loaded shotguns in National Parks
NRA asked & Obama complied.
Will you get pinged by a zooming missile zing?
A Dick Cheney wet dream.
A farewell to life song.
Eicay varee’, eisee’ nardee’,
Where’s my case of Schlitz? (belch)
The one packing heat is sublime
Do we need semi-automatics to keep the beavers damned?

Now we’re safe from dawn until dark,
Now we’re safe from butterflies, or chipmunks that are on the sly.
Noah sailed on his ark,
The animals were all his allies,
People always smiled in the valley of Hot Springs,
The new laws a bit too bizarre,
The human is the only species here that mauls,
Bring a sick bag before I hurl,
Quick duck there’s a bullet,
How will our furry friends act with this new slime,
In my yard gun play..whose gonna pay?

Sloe gin guzzlers will turn my forest into a roadkill cafe,
I never thought I’d be betrayed by my home, the USA.
Ol’ Chevy trucks riding mountains with dual exhausts,
All is fair game at our cost, crow or doe.

So get out of the park, before it gets dark,
It’s bound to light up like Fourth Of July.
No more funny days in the park,
Just our wildlife with a bullseye mark.
The park is our back yard,
But he’s sick and wants it, really wants it,
His gun is so phallic,
There’s long been a place in hell for those who commit this crime,

Please stay out of my backyard and keep your gun at home,

I might not be as nice as Nurse Ratchett. Can you dig it?

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In addition to being a parody songwriter, Rick London is a writer with over 600 published articles to his name, the founder of Londons Times Cartoons which has been Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoon since 2005 luring 8.6 million people to his site, and has opened numerous web shops featuring over 100,000 of his cartoon image funny gifts. He is also brand designer for actress/author Mariel Hemingway at Hemingway Collectibles.


Life Coach’s Are Rats (by Rick London c2009) Sung to Al Stewart’s “Year Of The Cat”

December 26, 2009

For my  DF/Love Lee Hiller

Good Kitty

On the morning of a life coach program the entrance fee is free,
The jest of the speech is material accumulation and a myriad of slime,
At the end of the program $5000 packaged programs and you’re sorry,
Feeling an accessory to a crime.

She comes out from backstage with fake Rolex so stunning,
Thinking the audience has no brains,
Then she wonders why on Twitter that she shunned,
She’ll mutter something about Newton’s inertia reference frame,
But she smells like a rat.

She only has a sec for questions,
And prefers Mastercard or bank transfers,
She counts on you to be dense with no direction,
Till your bank balance disappears.

Fear Of The Rat

You later find better advice on public bathroom stalls,
And you realize like so many others you’ve been screwed,
The BS was so thick you could cut it with a knife,
So you sip another brew,
Cheers to the year of the rat.

Well she counts her cash so cruely,
Smiling like another Macy’s shopping spree,
Your migraine now is grueling,
So you tweet her, but her only answer is snide,
I can’t help being a rat.

Well the morning comes and you’d like to believe her,
But the bozos on that bus are gone.
You’d like to form a group and start a line of pickets,
But the life coach took all their funds.

Lots Are Becoming Life Coaches Yes Even Danny Bonaduci

You try to think back at a filthier stain,
But the life coach leaves a permanent decay,
Repackaged ancient wisdom is the game she lives for.
They make Michael Madoff seem okay,
To a life coach you’re a doormat.

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Rick London is a writer, designer and cartoonist. He founded and creates Londons Times Cartoons, the nets #1 ranked offbeat cartoon. He launched Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous love quote shoes which have been featured in media worldwide. He has written over 650 published magazine articles and is brand designer for Mariel Hemingway Healthy Gifts.  His funny gift stores contain over 70,000 funny tees funny mugs and other funny gifts such as LT Superstore and Rick London Collection.  London is engaged to designer Lee Hiller who designs and sells unique gifts at her online store.

“Gluten” by Rick London Sung To “Something” by The Beatles

November 16, 2009

Gluten” Parody Song by Rick London c2009
 To The Tune Of “Something” by The Beatles

                            Dedicated to my DF Lee Hiller whom I love. Also
                            dedicated to our true friend Mariel Hemingway who cared
                             enough to educate us back to a healthy lifestyle.



beatles  tall 3333

Gluten-Free Beatles

    Gluten's put in food so starch will be removed,  A Latin word for “glue” & try to recover,
 It has prolamins to give you celiac disease
   You could use a box of Blisscuits now,
      So you don't lose your entire Tao.

   No amount of advertising polyphonic prose 
   Nor even the finest restauranteur, 
   Gluten has enough hormones for a woman to grow goatees
  Than super-sized fries and a fast food cow

      You're wondering why my belly grows, 
  Wheat bread and vintage bordeaux, 
 You won't see me on #DWTS or other ABC shows, 
    My belly's grown, can't reach my toes. 

Lethargy so intense that I must doze, 
  Razputin & avacados at my next Super Wal-Mart shopping spree.
   Quit the hormonal Kentucky Fried fowl, 
     And mood swings that turn into black clouds..

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Rick London is an author, cartoonist and entrepreneur.
 He's been featured in The Wall St. Journal, ABC with
 Peter Jennings, CBS Morning With Paula Zahn,
 Bill O'Reilly, New York Daily News, Glamor Magazine,
 Playboy Magazine, PBS, NPR and many other media outlets.
 He is the founder and creator of Londons Times Cartoons
ranked Google and MSN's number one offbeat cartoon and
founder of Shoes That Amuse, the worlds only love quotation
shoes. He owns a number of cartoon stores that feature
 his images on over 100,000 products in such stores
as Rick London Collection and others. He and his fiance'
 Lee Hiller co-founded the full service web design
and seo firm Pen And Ink Inc,
and work together in the Ouichata mountains of Arkansas.
 Both are animal and nature lovers and active in both causes.
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