Archive for the ‘marketing’ Category

Five Ways Online Retailers Can Survive The Summer (Beyond Twitter & facebook)

July 8, 2010

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There ain’t no cure for the summertime retail blues….or is there? Historically, retailers dread the

summer as far as sales are concerned. Some even close shop for long periods of time. I remember

one brick and mortar store that closed the entire summer. People just don’t want to go out

in the sweltering heat.

One might think that would be an advantage to the online retailer and in many ways it is, if he/she

wants it to be. People are still people and we are creatures of habit so we tend to sock away extra

funds to start buying in September through early December for holiday gifts.

There are ways an online retailer can help him or herself as well as clients by keeping up with

trends.

One might have to live on Mars to know that the economy is suffering; and, even then chances are

the news has saturated other planets. Face it folks, it’s rough.

But people still will buy gifts and collectibles. What can a retailer do to fill that void. My stores

decided to drop most of its items that retail for over $25 and focus more on items that run from

the $.99  to $15 range. Yes we still cater to those who prefer the more expensive gifts, but our

cartoon postcards,  buttons, magnets, and basic tees are shipped worldwide daily. The economy

has affected everyone  everywhere, but, if the retailer listens to what the customer wants, the

customer will buy.

With millions of online retail stores on the Internet, how does one become a squeaky wheel? There

are lots of ways to do so. I am doing one now by writing an article. But one can’t just write an

article and “they will come”. The article has to offer at least a few pieces of information of value to

both the retailer and client.

Many simply focus on Twitter, “talk” to “friends” and feel that does the trick. Same with facebook.

Both couldn’t be further from the truth. Backlinks are what drives people to ones site, and they

can,in fact be found on Twitter and facebook, if the member places them there, but also in articles

and article directories, blogs and blog directories, social bookmarking sites, pinging their blogs,

and  a multitude of other proven techniques that put the social marketer head and heals above the

basic Twitterer or facebook fanatic. I am not putting down those social networks. I use them

and do so successfully. I have just come to know they are not “magic” and if one puts all his/her

eggs in their baskets, they end up branding Twitter and Facebook more than they do themselves.

Some still use ppc (pay per click) advertising such as Google Adwords, MSN Search etc. They

can be very effective, and I used to use them, but with all the free opportunities to use backlinks

to ones shop, and even more specifically to a particular product, and even a place for keyword

tags, I see paid ads as becoming somewhat outdated. I could be wrong; but I’d prefer to write an

article or a blog with a backlink. It is free, and is another expense I don’t have (advertising) giving

me yet another reason to keep the prices lower to the end buyer.

If the idea of article marketing, tweaking or even changing your sites keywords and metatags,

pinging, twitter blasts, twitter scheduled regular tweets, facebook management, blog and web

upkeep boggles the mind, it is not only a good idea, it is mandatory to find a professional

affordable web promotion firm.

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Rick London is a cartoonist, writer, designer, and online retailer.  He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997.  It has been the #1 Google ranked offbeat cartoon since 2005 and MSN #1 ranked since 2008. London founded the world’s only famous love quote shoes, ShoesThatAmuse.com in 2007 which has been featured in USA Today and worldwide on the AP Wire. He owns numerous online shops featuring his #1 cartoon on funny tees, cards, mugs etc such as RickLondonCollection.com.  London owns the premiere SEO marketing firm with his wife Lee Hiller-London which offers affordable web promotion and design,   Pen and Ink, Inc.   He is a native of the Ms. Gulf Coast and donates a percentage of each sale to Gulf Wildlife and other animal causes.

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“Twitter” Parody Song by Rick London c2010 To Tune Of “Money” Pink Floyd

March 10, 2010

For my Love/DF @LeeHiller

Pink Floyd Another Time, But We Still Love Them

Twitter, Play or Flay,
Midnight In The Garden Of Good & Evil On Monitor Display.
Listen, its not Ebay.

Twitter, answer before your browser crashes,
You could be labeled a non-response snob with no

MY D/F Love @LeeHiller (And It may sound funny, but she's gonna get her money back! A doo doo doo doo doo doo...

following or fans,

200,000 followers might be time to clean an extreme Twitter Stream,
Someone just RT’d me with the Hawaii 5-0 theme,

Danno got the money back
But not before someone hacked my Twitter profile,
Keep your hands off her stash CNN-Tech Guru, Uh oh, here comes a “Cap Attack”.

My honey, she got hit,
But she got right up from the mat,
And “the player” doesn’t know but he’s oon be laying flat.

We have this fidelity,
Boring pay our bills no debt,
A newspaper from Nepal asks me if “I have any regrets”.

The Nepal News

(Sax and guitar solos)

Tis the right seasonings, its about thyme,
See my fair @Lee
But don’t take a slice of that pie.

My honey, was at Ebay,
Is the Internet’s Dr. Eveel,
Now she has her own brand here to stay.

Twitters a great place 4 monthly lifetime ties,
If nothing else it proves that life’s unfair,
Piper must be paid,
A MidSummer’s Day,
A sewerage Day,
Or a Spiritual Bouquet,
Twitters here to stay.
A Salute to Ev and Biz,
We know them to be very bright and alright.

A Princess Shines At The Oscars (Our Kathy Ireland)!!!!


Biz & Ev Brainstorming At Twitter (So we'll be nervous)

One Princess at Oscars Red Carpet got a deliberate slight,
The princess gave a designer jewelry left hook & Governor’s Ball smashing blow & super high rankings (and had just help renew/rebuild lives in Haiti)… some nuts at keyboards are cruisin’ for a bruisin.
“Yeah!”
Whey do some forget to think,
I know, they are really drunk all of the time.
Why he wasn’t coming up on freely, after Lee was twittering in CAPS and
Screaming and telling him why he wasn’t coming up on freely.
It came as a heavy blow, but others to his surprise, will sort the matter out.

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Aside from being a parody songwriter Rick London is founder of the Internet’s #1 offbeat cartoon, Londons Times.  He also founded the world’s only famous love quote shoes, ShoesThatAmuse.com, and is a fashion brand designer for actress/author Mariel Hemingway Collectibles. Rick owns numerous licensed image cartoon collectible shops that sell tees, cards, mugs etc featuring his “out there” cartoons.

Life Coach’s Are Rats (by Rick London c2009) Sung to Al Stewart’s “Year Of The Cat”

December 26, 2009

For my  DF/Love Lee Hiller

Good Kitty

On the morning of a life coach program the entrance fee is free,
The jest of the speech is material accumulation and a myriad of slime,
At the end of the program $5000 packaged programs and you’re sorry,
Feeling an accessory to a crime.

She comes out from backstage with fake Rolex so stunning,
Thinking the audience has no brains,
Then she wonders why on Twitter that she shunned,
She’ll mutter something about Newton’s inertia reference frame,
But she smells like a rat.

She only has a sec for questions,
And prefers Mastercard or bank transfers,
She counts on you to be dense with no direction,
Till your bank balance disappears.

Fear Of The Rat

You later find better advice on public bathroom stalls,
And you realize like so many others you’ve been screwed,
The BS was so thick you could cut it with a knife,
So you sip another brew,
Cheers to the year of the rat.

Well she counts her cash so cruely,
Smiling like another Macy’s shopping spree,
Your migraine now is grueling,
So you tweet her, but her only answer is snide,
I can’t help being a rat.

Well the morning comes and you’d like to believe her,
But the bozos on that bus are gone.
You’d like to form a group and start a line of pickets,
But the life coach took all their funds.

Lots Are Becoming Life Coaches Yes Even Danny Bonaduci

You try to think back at a filthier stain,
But the life coach leaves a permanent decay,
Repackaged ancient wisdom is the game she lives for.
They make Michael Madoff seem okay,
To a life coach you’re a doormat.

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Rick London is a writer, designer and cartoonist. He founded and creates Londons Times Cartoons, the nets #1 ranked offbeat cartoon. He launched Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous love quote shoes which have been featured in media worldwide. He has written over 650 published magazine articles and is brand designer for Mariel Hemingway Healthy Gifts.  His funny gift stores contain over 70,000 funny tees funny mugs and other funny gifts such as LT Superstore and Rick London Collection.  London is engaged to designer Lee Hiller who designs and sells unique gifts at her online store.

“Hotel California” Parody “Life Coaches They Don’t Warn Ya” Parody Song By Rick London c2009

August 26, 2009

“Hotel California” Parody “Life Coaches Let Me Warn Ya” Parody by Rick London c2009

twitter 1 life coach used car salesman

For My DF: Lee Hiller


I was tweeting one day, saw what could be a snare
Life coaches planning toxic tweet-ups, with big bucks & visualization prayers

With shimmering books and pricey videos, Free info any minister would give at first sight,
Said the way I was living, was just a big sin,

Salvation via The Life Coach Way, & I would see the light.But all they offer is free on Wiki,

Or the Bible on the shelf,

They still said their colorfully package paraphernalia would,
Help me avoid the highway to hell.
These self-absorbed bandits, said they’d show me the way,
Just by focusing on desires I adored,
And clean out my un-spiritual cache.

twitter 1 life coach ambition poster 2222

There’s life coaches on Twitter, don’t say I didn’t warn ya,
A forced smiling face,
A trespass on the case,
There’s life coaches on Twitter, don’t say I didn’t warn ya,
They’ll instill some fear,
Their “gift’s” no Frankincense and Myrrh

And then once you’re enlisted, the grin turns into shark fins,
But wait this one says she speaks for God, so she says with a grin,
Misleading maneuvers in the background, but Twitter icon silhouette,
Just know she’ll take you for everything, or at least all she can get.
twitter 1 life coach leadership poster
So I called on my God, who lives within,
But the coach said that I needed more and asked me not to whine,
Packaged information I could get for free was only $4999.
And her snake oil was brewing like a garlic bouquet,
Motivational mantras just a little trite,
Throw in some ancient cliches’

Life coaches only want adornment from ya,
Compliment their lovely face (and their Twitter follow-base,
They are on the take.
Purveyin’ information allegedly as mystical as Ka,
But it’s only lies, Only lies
twitter 1 life coach success posterShould be criminalized

Ruffled as a spurious wing,
Instincts say “Please think twice”,
Before becoming a prisoner, of a transparent rhetorical device,
In hopes no money transfers,
To this unemployed leech,
They would sell their mothers, kids, and wives,
With an Elmer Gantry speech.

At last I remembered, I have equal protection of the laws,
Have always coached my own life before,
Not paying cash for this “verbal crack”,
From a condescending bore,
The best wisdom and advice from man,
And programs free to receive.
Life Coaches go down the Twitter pike,
Causing one to heave….

twitter 1 life coach snl character

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Rick London is a writer and entrepreneur. In 1997, London founded what is now (since 2005) Google’s #1-ranked offbeat cartoon . He later went on to launch Shoes That Amuse, the only footwear featuring famous love quotations. He is the designer for Mariel Hemingway licensed gifts and collectibles. He is engaged to HeralddeParis love columnist Lee Hiller and together they own the professional SEO, Branding & Professional Web Design Firm  PenAndInkInc.

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