“140 Ways To Tweet Another” by Rick London c2011… Sung To The Tune Of Paul Simon’s “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover”

Paul Simon (Click To Enlarge)

Too Much Twitter Information (Click To Enlarge) by Londons Times

 

My laptop & me are under the goose down on my bed,

I take a sip of some bitter green tea.

My choices Twitter or AOL News,

Before deciding I get up & go pee,

I choose Twitter see a few con artists & a drug smuggler,

And a life coach offering an amazing Ebook publishing lessons for almost free,

There must be 140 ways,

Whoops here comes an iconoclastic business sabateur

Says he’d like to serve us if we weren’t so morally unfit,

And quite rude,

I posted my site link will it land on Google or Bing?

If it stays on Twitter then then for sure I’m screwed,

I guess I have arrived….Now have more followers than self-help books on my shelf

So much Twitter drama is there ever not a feud?

There must be 140 ways to tweet another,

I’m not a celeb, and don’t know @JustinBeiber & not his brother,

I’m not @Glennbeck or Tommy Smothers

[CHORUS:]

Enter Twitter stage left a few wanna be PR flacks,

And a few running male enhancement scams,

Some usual suspects sharing bathroom habits that annoy,

Another paid trending topic by @IMDiddy.

A wannabe film critic telling me Ishtar is “a must”

A New England counselor insisting I’m using Twitter as a crutch,

Giving me a cyber-diagnosis for free,

And some more bourgeoisie.

Some there are bitter, others sweet as Bordeaux.

That some have no IQ has been clearly preordained.

Do you have money or social influence a cyber-philantrophist needs you, handing out cheap cards & a crash course in kung fu.

He’ll meet you at a Hyatt bar for tweet up but his debit card is declined again

But there’s time to chat,

About a charity of financial gain,

Or type 140 ways to tweet another.

 

In case you don’t know what is wrong,

From what is right,

Don’t smoke and claim to be green,

Or attend @GreenExpo drinking a Sprite.

But use highbrow words like “Chi”,

Don’t let too many know if  you lean left or right,

Because there’s 140 ways to

tweet another.

Find the facebook status has changed from “engaged”  to “looking” on the page of your (former) lover.

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In addition to being a songwriter, Rick London founded the #1 ranked offbeat cartoon on the Internet Londons Times Cartoons and its peripheral funny gift shops.  He also founded the world’s only famous love quote shoes, ShoesThatAmuse.com.  He and his wife designer/photographer Lee Hiller-London enjoy animals, hiking and nature.  She has her own wildlife/nature blog, Hike Our Planet.

“Yes You’re Gay” To The Tune Of The Beatles “Yesterday” by Rick London c2010

 

Yes, you’re gay,

The Tea Party feels you need someone else to lay,
Throwing Deuteronomy in your face,
Oh they believe you can be changed.

Marriage Decrees,
Is something only for straights you see,
Only straights get to make whoopie,
Get used to 2nd class its what you be.
Why your genetic code’s what it is, I don’t know,  I cannot say

Why Tea Party thinks you sin, Ken Mehlman may have something to say.

Yes you’re gay,
Now the right wing they keep dossiers,
On sexual actions that you might purvey,
They don’t believe you are born gay.

Why they think like this, that sodom is the San Francisco Gay Parade
Maybe you shouldn’t have worn that thong, you’ve been outed the Tea Party wayyyy.

Yes your gay,
In the closet you must quietly play.
Maybe one day you’ll have your day, when the Tea Party has gone away,
And then your gayness you’ll proudly display.

Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.

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Rick London is a writer, songwriter, cartoonist and designer. He founded Google and MSN’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons and funny gifts, Londons Times Cartoons and Gifts. He also founded Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous love quote shoes, which has been featured favorably on APWire and USA Today.  He is active in animal and wildlife causes and is an avid hiker and mountain climber. He and his wife Lee Hiller-London live and hike in the Ouachita Mountains of Arkansas

Shirley Sherrod by Rick London c2010 Sung to Que Sara

Shirley Sherrod by Rick London c2010 To Tune Of Doris Day’s “Que Sara”

Dedicated to my wife: Lee Hiller-London

Shirley Sherrod (Click To Enlarge)

Under a bus she was unfurled,
A story bigger than BP,
Fox News, White House NAACP in perfect pitch,
Trying to oust Shirley.

Shirley Sherrod, Sherrod
In the land of the brave and free,
“Fire her’ yelled O-Rei-Leee

Shirley Sherrod, Sherrod,
We love you Shirley.

60’s civil rights this is indicative of,
While we felt we’d progressed instead,
Now your signature has value on Ebay,
We watched as you bled.

Bill O'Reilly (Click To Enlarge)

Shirley Sherrod, Sherrod,
A story fueled by Fox News greed,
NAACP should take heed,
Shirley Sherrod, Sherrod,
Your vision we all should see.

A voice to be heard was your only plea,
A hunt in search of a witch,
Obama finally texted Shir-ley
Andrew Breitbart grins with glee,
Then YouTube & Fox TV,

Barack Obama (Click To Enlarge)

Shirley Sherrod, Sherrod,
Victim of hubris of the bourgeosie.

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Rick London is a writer, entrepreneur, designer, parody song writer, and cartoonist. London launched Londons Times Cartoons in 1997 which as evolved into the #1 offbeat cartoons ranked by Google and MSN. He writes parody songs such as these, and is auditioning musicians/bands. 100% of London’s half of the take benefits Gulf causes.  London owns 4 gift licensing online shops showcasing over 100,000 funny gifts and collectibles featuring his cartoon images on funny cards, mugs tees, etc. He also founded ShoesThatAmuse.com, the world’s only famous love quote shoes.

Please, Leave BP (by Rick London) Sung To Please, Please Me (Beatles)

Please Leave Here BP by Rick London c2010 (Sung to Please, Please Me by The Beatles)

Dedicated To My Wife: Lee Hiller-London

What Bp’s done has made me want to hurl,
My Gulf now has no turrrrr-tles.
The whales are gone,
Please leave here BP, and take your crude.
Now to walk the beach we need haz-mat gloves,
. That you’ll begone,
Please leave here BP, and take your crude.

Now we get dispersement each time its rainin’,
Families & wildlife you have torn apart (torn apart),
Tourists stay home, they now have no reason,
It’s been that way, oh yea, since Deep Horizon blew.
Now your toxins are spreading round the world,
Into the Gulf’s currents they do swirl,
Please cease and desist, and take your crude.

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Rick London is a writer, cartoonist and designer as well as a parody song writer. He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997 which have become the #1 offbeat cartoon on the Internet. He also founded numerous funny gift shops featuring his cartoons on tees, mugs, etc. London is currently auditioning musicians/bands to record his parody songs (He has written 30 or so about BP). His goal is to write one per week until BP cleans up the entire gulf of oil and dispersement. He is donating his 50% of profits to Gulf causes.

A Londons Times (Panel Hollywood Series) Click To Enlarge

Now That Our Sand’s Brown by Rick London To Woody Guthrie’s “This Land Is My Land”

“Now That Our Sand’s Brown” by Rick London c2010 To The Tune Of Woody Guthrie’s

“This Land Is My Land”

Dedicated to my wife Lee Hiller-London

Click To Enlarge

Now that our land been damned by BP’s philosophy of Ayn Rand,
So we have brown sand,
From Grand Isle across the Gulf Stream waters,
This land does not belong to BP.

Dispursment’s a liquid toupee,
A toxin where the fish used to play,
It takes no banshee,
To know this toxic liquid is killing all that’s in the sea.

Click To Enlarge

BP stumbled through its many missteps,
Now the gusher continues to squirt,
One thing we do know whatever life brings,
The Gulf Coast belongs to you and me.

Onto their lies they do cling,
As death and destruction they do bring,
“We’ll make it right” is the mantra they sing,
The Gulf belongs not to BP.

As I walked the beaches, no sign of life there,
BP had signs up, that said “No Trespassing”,
All I could think was “Who are they kidding”?
The Gulf beach belongs to you and me.

On cable news shows, I saw my struggling people,
I stood outside a church staring at the steeple,
As if it spoke to me, the church bells were ringing,
Get off of my land you damned BP.

Looks like a war zone, or some DMZ,
Our clear blue waters are now brown and gray,
Nothing is living, wildlife floating on their backs,
. Thanks to you, BP

Click To Enlarge

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Rick London is a writer, musician, cartoonist, designer, and entrepreneur. He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997 which have catapulted to Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoon since 2005. He also founded a number of shops featuring his funny gifts bearing his cartoon images The above BP cartoon sales benefit various Gulf causes. London is currently auditioning bands and auditions to record his parody songs. He is donating 100% of his proceeds to Gulf causes and the band may keep or donate their half (their option).London is a native of the Gulf Coast and a lover of wildlife, nature and the Gulf Coast.

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Currently Auditioning Bands

The Rick London Group is currently auditioning bands and musicians to record our parody songs (mostly, but not all, regarding the BP Oil Disaster) . Please send audio, video, or link to info@londonstimes.us.  Though The London Group is contributing 100% to Gulf wildlife causes, the band has the option to contribute or opt-out. It will not affect whom we choose.  Good luck!   Rick London

“Mississippi Sound” by Rick London c2010 (Sung To The Tune Of “Mrs. Robinson” by S&G)

“Mississippi Sound” by Rick London c2010 (To the tune of Simon & Garfunkel’s

“Ms Robinson”

Dedicated to my wife: Lee Hiller-London

Click To Enlarge

BP’s oil destroyed the Mississippi Sound,
The birds have died as well as fish below (a death so slow),
God help you please, Mississippi Sound,
The dolphins need a place where they can play,
Will BP pay?

YouTube puts up news coverage but you remove these video files,
The ocean’s a living hell along with the continental shelf.
The Gulf was once a place wildlife called home.

And look at all the destruction and its only just begun,
Have you not heard of quid pro quo? (Resentment grows).
At least no fear of whaling guns, as there are none.
No pelicans no birds of prey,
(An abandoned Bay).

Capping it is iffy may cause another spill to flow,
Most of us would be imprisoned for this mistake.
Meanwhile Deep Horizon emits a hellish flare.
The economy has hit the skids.

I remember tourists coming here to have fun,
We now know about your balloon and pony show.
I miss my Mississippi Sound,
Heaven knows its where I grew up and played.
Another day, its gone away.

Now its just a place where BP oil was strewn,
BP has sealed the wildlife’s fate.
Have you done this all along would you admit?
Or just too much to lose?
And a tv campaign designed to confuse.

Where’s our way of life we had a long time ago?
Its gone BP because of you (Everyone will lose)
Why did you destroy the Mississippi Sound,
(Why do you stay? Please leave we can only pray).

Rick London is a writer, designer, cartoonist and parody song writer. He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997; #1 Google ranked offbeat cartoons since 2005, and MSN #1 ranked since 2008. His goal is to write one BP parody song per week about the Gulf Coast Spill; he is a native of south Mississippi. He is currently auditioning bands/and or musicians to record his songs. He is donating 100% of his half to Gulf Coast causes. It is optional for the recording band and/or musician to also donate. The above cartoon is available at Rick LondonWear on funny mugs, tees, etc.  Sales from this item will also benefit Gulf causes. To audition: Send video, audio or link to info@LondonsTimes.us. We generally respond within a week.

“How Can We Ask BP To Depart” (Song Parody) Tune Of Bee Gees “Mend A Broken Heart” by Rick London

“How Can We Ask BP To Depart?” (Song Parody by Rick London 2010) To The Tune Of The Bee Gees “How Do You Mend A Broken Heart?”

Click To Enlarge

Dedicated to my wife Lee Hiller-London

I sit in front of cable news with my wife,
Was everything a man could want to do. And watch how BP puts the screws,
I could never see For all the wildlife & those who fish there is not tomorrow.

Black sand…Isn’t it time for BP to depart?
Now that the birds are a gooey brown.
They say August or if storms, in the spring.
They polluted the entire Mississippi Sound.
How will they bring back our white sands?
If we criticize they just chagrin.
Please help return, the sea turtles, and all that swim with fins.

Whatever BP touches once healthy is now diseased,
Even the endangered sperm whales are fried.
Those who once worked will now have to do a lifetime of borrowing……

And, Why won’t BP take Deep Horizon apart,
Just count its losses and leave town.
Forgot politics this is not left or right wing.
You’re thin veneer TV campaign does not confound.
Will we ever get our beaches back to tan?
Will we ever again see a brown peli-can,
How much longer does BP think we’ll just take it on the chin?

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Rick London is a writer, designer and cartoonist. He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997 which has become Google’s and MSN’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoon with over 4500 images.
He also founded the #1 offbeat cartoon gift shops one of which is The Rick London Collection.  London has a goal to write one BP parody song per week until BP plugs Deep Horizon and cleans the entire Gulf Coast.   Please send audios, videos, or links to info@LondonsTimes.us. 100% of Londons half benefits various Gulf Coast causes. The band is not required to contribute but may.

“Oil On The Water” by Rick London To Benefit Gulf Causes

“Oil On The Water” (Another BP Song by Rick London) To The Tune Of Deep Purple’s “Smoke On The Water”

Trapped Brown Pelican: Click To Enlarge

Dedicated To My Wife Lee Hiller-London

Panama City Beach was like snow,
Now thousands tarballs in a line,
Love Bellingrath Gardens in Mobile,
You covered Mobile Bay with slime.

The oil zapped the fish & the birds,
Dispersements on the ocean’s ground,
BP’s spokesman said it was about done,
But the destruction had just begun.

Oil on the water,
Rig’s fire lights the sky
Oil on the water.

Eleven men down.

Now we know Hayward is a louse,
After that Tony yachted around,
Once home tomullet  snapper & sea trout,
Now nowhere to be found.

Pelicans and other birds,
Had to find another place,
But for many time was running out,
Drenched in oil from wings to face.

Oil on the water,
Rigs fire lights the sky, Is BP learning?
Oil on the water,

No wildlife around,
No dolphins play.

Within a few days the Gulf was a living hell,
More than any living thing could bare,
I watched the news with my bride and cried,
What once was is no longer there.

Much of the wildlife found is now dead,
A few lucky ones found their way to a vet,
And BP wonders why we’er pi$$ed,
Not to worry BP we’ll never forget, how you spilled….

Oil on the water,
And told us all those lies,
Oil on the water.

Oil everywhere, everywhere

Your rig burns, still now,
And you don’t like media around,
Gulf small business better be your concern, yeah
BP When will you ever learn. Just debris.
Eleven drowned.

Grand Isle water’s totally brown.

Rick London is a writer, cartoonist and parody songwriter. He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997. It has been Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoon since 2005 and MSN’s since 2008. His goal is to write one song parody about BP per week until they stop the leak and totally clean up the oil. Rick London is auditioning bands and/or musicians to record the song. London pledges his 100% of his half to various Gulf Coast wildlife refugees. Contributions are optional for the band. To audition please send audio, video or link to info@LondonsTimes.us

“BP Leaks” Song Parody To Rick James “Super Freak”

“BP Leaks” A Song Parody by Rick London c2010 To The Tune Of Rick James’ “Super Freak”

Click To Enlarge

For my wife Lee Hiller-London

It makes me want to hurl,
BP comes not with frankincense and myrrh,
Tony Hayward said he was devastated hearing 11 men drowned
So BP puts dispersents in the oil and it swirls,
So we won’t see it when it hits the beach or land.
Now half the Gulf against BP has a writ
Most the beaches now are full of tar balls and grime,
Would you swim in anti-freeze?

(Refrain)

Are small people as important as their cash cow?
BP rigs leak,
The Gulf was once home to mullet, shrimp and trout,
Now brown goo is all that can be seen
Does Kevin Kostner hold the key,
Could James Cameron stop the leak,
We won’t know as BP will not concur
Deep Horizon was built upon deceit,
Now they should be read their legal rights,
For turning the Gulf into the Black Sea, yeah,
Because BP Leaks, Deep Horizon leaks,
The goo is leaking, yow
BP Leaks, BP Leaks,

Where oysters once made pearls,
And fish once laid their roe,
Now just seem like folklore,
The crap BP excretes,
Will take supertankers from Shell in the end, yeah,
It’s so obscene
Can we send them back to LondonTown?
We turn our hopes to the Prez,
Makes a small escrow with 3 years waiting
I turn on cable news and see the oil-drenched gulls,
Bp’s just obscene
(Refrain)
(Bridge)
Look around, no living things,
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!

BP Leaks, It leaks,
That oil rig leaks.
Ohhhhh
It affects every boy and girl,
Every father and mother,
Our life has been beat by BP into th egroiund,
If you think they’re through with us small people, they’ll repeat for sure,
Another one blows, Dammit.

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Rick London is a native Gulf Coast writer, designer and cartoonist.  His goal is to write a parody song every week about BP until they stop the leak and clean up the mess.  A percentage of song and/or cartoon product sales benefits various wildlife causes.  This cartoon “A Tribute To Rick James” is available on his clothing line, aprons, tees, mouse pads, and much more at his RickLondonWear.com Cartoon Collectible Shop.  Londons Times Cartoons has been the number 1 offbeat cartoon on the web since 2005.