Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

“Yes You’re Gay” To The Tune Of The Beatles “Yesterday” by Rick London c2010

December 9, 2010

 

Yes, you’re gay,

The Tea Party feels you need someone else to lay,
Throwing Deuteronomy in your face,
Oh they believe you can be changed.

Marriage Decrees,
Is something only for straights you see,
Only straights get to make whoopie,
Get used to 2nd class its what you be.
Why your genetic code’s what it is, I don’t know,  I cannot say

Why Tea Party thinks you sin, Ken Mehlman may have something to say.

Yes you’re gay,
Now the right wing they keep dossiers,
On sexual actions that you might purvey,
They don’t believe you are born gay.

Why they think like this, that sodom is the San Francisco Gay Parade
Maybe you shouldn’t have worn that thong, you’ve been outed the Tea Party wayyyy.

Yes your gay,
In the closet you must quietly play.
Maybe one day you’ll have your day, when the Tea Party has gone away,
And then your gayness you’ll proudly display.

Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.


—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Rick London is a writer, songwriter, cartoonist and designer. He founded Google and MSN’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons and funny gifts, Londons Times Cartoons and Gifts. He also founded Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous love quote shoes, which has been featured favorably on APWire and USA Today.  He is active in animal and wildlife causes and is an avid hiker and mountain climber. He and his wife Lee Hiller-London live and hike in the Ouachita Mountains of Arkansas

Advertisements

Please, Leave BP (by Rick London) Sung To Please, Please Me (Beatles)

July 21, 2010

Please Leave Here BP by Rick London c2010 (Sung to Please, Please Me by The Beatles)

Dedicated To My Wife: Lee Hiller-London

What Bp’s done has made me want to hurl,
My Gulf now has no turrrrr-tles.
The whales are gone,
Please leave here BP, and take your crude.
Now to walk the beach we need haz-mat gloves,
. That you’ll begone,
Please leave here BP, and take your crude.

Now we get dispersement each time its rainin’,
Families & wildlife you have torn apart (torn apart),
Tourists stay home, they now have no reason,
It’s been that way, oh yea, since Deep Horizon blew.
Now your toxins are spreading round the world,
Into the Gulf’s currents they do swirl,
Please cease and desist, and take your crude.

——————————————————————————————

Rick London is a writer, cartoonist and designer as well as a parody song writer. He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997 which have become the #1 offbeat cartoon on the Internet. He also founded numerous funny gift shops featuring his cartoons on tees, mugs, etc. London is currently auditioning musicians/bands to record his parody songs (He has written 30 or so about BP). His goal is to write one per week until BP cleans up the entire gulf of oil and dispersement. He is donating his 50% of profits to Gulf causes.

A Londons Times (Panel Hollywood Series) Click To Enlarge

Now That Our Sand’s Brown by Rick London To Woody Guthrie’s “This Land Is My Land”

July 15, 2010

Now That Our Sand’s Brown” by Rick London c2010 To The Tune Of Woody Guthrie’s

This Land Is My Land”

Dedicated to my wife Lee Hiller-London

Click To Enlarge


Now that our land been damned by BP’s philosophy of Ayn Rand,
So we have brown sand,
From Grand Isle across the Gulf Stream waters,
This land does not belong to BP.

Dispursment’s a liquid toupee,
A toxin where the fish used to play,
It takes no banshee,
To know this toxic liquid is killing all that’s in the sea.

Click To Enlarge

BP stumbled through its many missteps,
Now the gusher continues to squirt,
One thing we do know whatever life brings,
The Gulf Coast belongs to you and me.

Onto their lies they do cling,
As death and destruction they do bring,
“We’ll make it right” is the mantra they sing,
The Gulf belongs not to BP.

As I walked the beaches, no sign of life there,
BP had signs up, that said “No Trespassing”,
All I could think was “Who are they kidding”?
The Gulf beach belongs to you and me.

On cable news shows, I saw my struggling people,
I stood outside a church staring at the steeple,
As if it spoke to me, the church bells were ringing,
Get off of my land you damned BP.

Looks like a war zone, or some DMZ,
Our clear blue waters are now brown and gray,
Nothing is living, wildlife floating on their backs,
. Thanks to you, BP

Click To Enlarge

—————————————————————————————————————-

Rick London is a writer, musician, cartoonist, designer, and entrepreneur. He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997 which have catapulted to Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoon since 2005. He also founded a number of shops featuring his funny gifts bearing his cartoon images The above BP cartoon sales benefit various Gulf causes. London is currently auditioning bands and auditions to record his parody songs. He is donating 100% of his proceeds to Gulf causes and the band may keep or donate their half (their option).London is a native of the Gulf Coast and a lover of wildlife, nature and the Gulf Coast.

W4N7MM9GQXJR


We’ll Make It Right (By Rick London c2010) BP Song

June 17, 2010

We’ll Make It Right by Rick London c2010 Song Parody To the Tune of Manfred Mann’s “Blinded By The Light”

We’ll make it right, does BP think we’re all douche bags, the tv ads are getting trite,
We’ll make it right, we know its a ruse, BP attorneys prepping for a fight.
We’ll make it right. Tell that to the pelicans that can’t move, or fish that died in their plight.

Incompetent riggers cause emotional triggers, BP said 1000 barrels a day. We smelled a rat.

Even Halliburton Told-er but BP was feeling bolder, then drilled deep into the ocean ground

Then in a warm Gulf summer breeze, 11 men were nowhere to be found

Even though BP said Deep Horizone was surely sound.

They broke every law,
Their spilling greasy juice to the Gulf Coast was such a blight,
We’ll make it right. They said dispersants would make such a pretty sight.
We’ll make it right. Drilled in spite of engineer’s red light.
We’ll make it right. I’ve got a nifty British accent so you know I’m so polite.

BP’s got 10-minute trained skimmers, to get the oil off our dinner. Now we fish from rivers & lakes

BP might hang around & do right what they’ve done wrong, after all 20 billion’s at stake,
But don’t start feeling sorry, they don’t have to borrow, 2 billion a month is their take,
So Want My Life Back Hayward was feeling kind of wayward, and acting like he was sure on our side,
But with baby blues a cryin’, I’m tellin’ you Tony’s lyin’, he’s about to take us for more of a ride,

They say we must be….
Blinded by their lies, while they rot our labor’s fruits in the middle of the night,
We’ll make it right.

Maybe if we’re lucky Shell or Conoco/Phillips
Will acquire BP, before they fall out of sight.
To clean up this toxic waste site.

—— guitar solo ——

Maybe its time we get out of the oil biz,
And look for alternative energies like coconut fizz
Plumes of oil are all ove The Gulf thanks to the BP plumes
Please make it clean again from Florida to Louisiana and good Ole Ms.
We’ve got an addiction to 10W30 & its making air dirty & you know we must be released,
There are no rehab clinics, we’ve got to bear and grin it, and get rid of the ugly beast.
The resources are there, hybrid cars from here to France, we just need someone to finance,
It sounds so forlorn to rely on oil from corn but someone’s gotta give it a chance,
It’s clean and safe and no oil to muck around.

BP said they……
Will make things right…..they’ll put a bandaid on it and get on a British Airways flight.
We will make it right. And if you believe us we’ll sell you a rig at Grand Isle late one night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
{the following two sections are sung simultaneously}

(7 Times)) ~ We will make it right.~Every grain of sand will be whiter than white
~ We will make it right,

2) ~Repeat 1st Verse

Any employee that squeals on BP will get fired

They’re using intimidation, fear and fright.

——————————————————————————————————————–

Click To Enlarge

Rick London is a writer, designer and cartoonist.  He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997 which has been Google’s#1 ranked offbeat cartoon since 2005 and MSN’s #1 since 2008. Londons Times remains number one as do London’s offbeat cartoon gift shops.  London created this cartoon and manufactured about 40 products that can be purchased online. 10% of all sales benefit The Audobon Society and WWF.

Small People (The BP Song) C2010 by Rick London

June 17, 2010

 Small People Got Nobody (The BP Song)
by Rick London C2010 to the tune of
Randy Newman's “Short People”

                                                  For My Wife Lee Hiller-London


  We got oily hands & birds that can't fly, 
 All from BP's (Big People) press release of lies,
  Some beaches still clean but its a nightmare underneath
 Who knows the disease lurking at 5000 feet.

{Refrain}
 Well, BP (Big People) loves their small people,
        Creates escrows for small people, 
         Just when we thought BP had no more bull, 
                       They say the coast is clear.

      On Facebook all BP has no feedback, just replies, 
              They won't tell us Louisiana oyster beds are dry,
  We from the Gulf know they care not if we live or die, 
          It's not our parent's world.

    We're small people just worker bees, 
                       Help us God above. 

     There's a few crab legs left but taste like petrol, 
  By the end of this no tellin' how much BP 'll owe, 
 Be sure to lawyer up and don't fall asleep
      Hayward wants his life back, what a nasty little creep.
 They try to bar us from our beaches; have they lost
their minds?
  I think all the execs outta be servin' Parchman
 Prison time.
------------------------------------------------------------



Click To Enlarge

Rick London was born and raised on the Ms. Gulf Coast. He created this cartoon and manufactured it on about 40 gifts and collectibles, tees, mugs, etc. 10% of all sales benefit The Audobon Society and WWF to help what London says "Heal and salvage what wildlife remains on our precious Gulf that BP whose lives B.P. recklessly destroyed."

“Twitter” Parody Song by Rick London c2010 To Tune Of “Money” Pink Floyd

March 10, 2010

For my Love/DF @LeeHiller

Pink Floyd Another Time, But We Still Love Them

Twitter, Play or Flay,
Midnight In The Garden Of Good & Evil On Monitor Display.
Listen, its not Ebay.

Twitter, answer before your browser crashes,
You could be labeled a non-response snob with no

MY D/F Love @LeeHiller (And It may sound funny, but she's gonna get her money back! A doo doo doo doo doo doo...

following or fans,

200,000 followers might be time to clean an extreme Twitter Stream,
Someone just RT’d me with the Hawaii 5-0 theme,

Danno got the money back
But not before someone hacked my Twitter profile,
Keep your hands off her stash CNN-Tech Guru, Uh oh, here comes a “Cap Attack”.

My honey, she got hit,
But she got right up from the mat,
And “the player” doesn’t know but he’s oon be laying flat.

We have this fidelity,
Boring pay our bills no debt,
A newspaper from Nepal asks me if “I have any regrets”.

The Nepal News

(Sax and guitar solos)

Tis the right seasonings, its about thyme,
See my fair @Lee
But don’t take a slice of that pie.

My honey, was at Ebay,
Is the Internet’s Dr. Eveel,
Now she has her own brand here to stay.

Twitters a great place 4 monthly lifetime ties,
If nothing else it proves that life’s unfair,
Piper must be paid,
A MidSummer’s Day,
A sewerage Day,
Or a Spiritual Bouquet,
Twitters here to stay.
A Salute to Ev and Biz,
We know them to be very bright and alright.

A Princess Shines At The Oscars (Our Kathy Ireland)!!!!


Biz & Ev Brainstorming At Twitter (So we'll be nervous)

One Princess at Oscars Red Carpet got a deliberate slight,
The princess gave a designer jewelry left hook & Governor’s Ball smashing blow & super high rankings (and had just help renew/rebuild lives in Haiti)… some nuts at keyboards are cruisin’ for a bruisin.
“Yeah!”
Whey do some forget to think,
I know, they are really drunk all of the time.
Why he wasn’t coming up on freely, after Lee was twittering in CAPS and
Screaming and telling him why he wasn’t coming up on freely.
It came as a heavy blow, but others to his surprise, will sort the matter out.

——————————————————————————————————

Aside from being a parody songwriter Rick London is founder of the Internet’s #1 offbeat cartoon, Londons Times.  He also founded the world’s only famous love quote shoes, ShoesThatAmuse.com, and is a fashion brand designer for actress/author Mariel Hemingway Collectibles. Rick owns numerous licensed image cartoon collectible shops that sell tees, cards, mugs etc featuring his “out there” cartoons.

“12 Gauge Shotguns In National Parks” by Rick London (Sung to Chicago’s Saturday In The Park)

March 3, 2010

12-Gauge Shotguns In National Parks” (by Rick London c2010) to the tune of Chicago’s “Saturday In The Park)

Dedicated to my DF/Love Lee Hiller who has a petition to keep loaded firearms out of National Parks which will be presented to the President 7 Congress. Please take a few moments to sign it. CLICK HERE TO SIGN.

12 gauge shotguns now legal in National Parks,
Face to face or even drive-by
Loaded shotguns in National Parks
NRA asked & Obama complied.
Will you get pinged by a zooming missile zing?
A Dick Cheney wet dream.
A farewell to life song.
Eicay varee’, eisee’ nardee’,
Where’s my case of Schlitz? (belch)
The one packing heat is sublime
Do we need semi-automatics to keep the beavers damned?

Now we’re safe from dawn until dark,
Now we’re safe from butterflies, or chipmunks that are on the sly.
Noah sailed on his ark,
The animals were all his allies,
People always smiled in the valley of Hot Springs,
The new laws a bit too bizarre,
The human is the only species here that mauls,
Bring a sick bag before I hurl,
Quick duck there’s a bullet,
How will our furry friends act with this new slime,
In my yard gun play..whose gonna pay?

Sloe gin guzzlers will turn my forest into a roadkill cafe,
I never thought I’d be betrayed by my home, the USA.
Ol’ Chevy trucks riding mountains with dual exhausts,
All is fair game at our cost, crow or doe.

So get out of the park, before it gets dark,
It’s bound to light up like Fourth Of July.
No more funny days in the park,
Just our wildlife with a bullseye mark.
The park is our back yard,
But he’s sick and wants it, really wants it,
His gun is so phallic,
There’s long been a place in hell for those who commit this crime,

Please stay out of my backyard and keep your gun at home,

I might not be as nice as Nurse Ratchett. Can you dig it?

————————————————————————————————————————

In addition to being a parody songwriter, Rick London is a writer with over 600 published articles to his name, the founder of Londons Times Cartoons which has been Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoon since 2005 luring 8.6 million people to his site, and has opened numerous web shops featuring over 100,000 of his cartoon image funny gifts. He is also brand designer for actress/author Mariel Hemingway at Hemingway Collectibles.


Life Coach’s Are Rats (by Rick London c2009) Sung to Al Stewart’s “Year Of The Cat”

December 26, 2009

For my  DF/Love Lee Hiller

Good Kitty

On the morning of a life coach program the entrance fee is free,
The jest of the speech is material accumulation and a myriad of slime,
At the end of the program $5000 packaged programs and you’re sorry,
Feeling an accessory to a crime.

She comes out from backstage with fake Rolex so stunning,
Thinking the audience has no brains,
Then she wonders why on Twitter that she shunned,
She’ll mutter something about Newton’s inertia reference frame,
But she smells like a rat.

She only has a sec for questions,
And prefers Mastercard or bank transfers,
She counts on you to be dense with no direction,
Till your bank balance disappears.

Fear Of The Rat

You later find better advice on public bathroom stalls,
And you realize like so many others you’ve been screwed,
The BS was so thick you could cut it with a knife,
So you sip another brew,
Cheers to the year of the rat.

Well she counts her cash so cruely,
Smiling like another Macy’s shopping spree,
Your migraine now is grueling,
So you tweet her, but her only answer is snide,
I can’t help being a rat.

Well the morning comes and you’d like to believe her,
But the bozos on that bus are gone.
You’d like to form a group and start a line of pickets,
But the life coach took all their funds.

Lots Are Becoming Life Coaches Yes Even Danny Bonaduci

You try to think back at a filthier stain,
But the life coach leaves a permanent decay,
Repackaged ancient wisdom is the game she lives for.
They make Michael Madoff seem okay,
To a life coach you’re a doormat.

————————————————————————————————————–

Rick London is a writer, designer and cartoonist. He founded and creates Londons Times Cartoons, the nets #1 ranked offbeat cartoon. He launched Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous love quote shoes which have been featured in media worldwide. He has written over 650 published magazine articles and is brand designer for Mariel Hemingway Healthy Gifts.  His funny gift stores contain over 70,000 funny tees funny mugs and other funny gifts such as LT Superstore and Rick London Collection.  London is engaged to designer Lee Hiller who designs and sells unique gifts at her online store.

“Gluten” by Rick London Sung To “Something” by The Beatles

November 16, 2009

Gluten” Parody Song by Rick London c2009
 To The Tune Of “Something” by The Beatles

                            Dedicated to my DF Lee Hiller whom I love. Also
                            dedicated to our true friend Mariel Hemingway who cared
                             enough to educate us back to a healthy lifestyle.



beatles  tall 3333

Gluten-Free Beatles

    Gluten's put in food so starch will be removed,  A Latin word for “glue” & try to recover,
 It has prolamins to give you celiac disease
   You could use a box of Blisscuits now,
      So you don't lose your entire Tao.

   No amount of advertising polyphonic prose 
   Nor even the finest restauranteur, 
   Gluten has enough hormones for a woman to grow goatees
  Than super-sized fries and a fast food cow

      You're wondering why my belly grows, 
  Wheat bread and vintage bordeaux, 
 You won't see me on #DWTS or other ABC shows, 
    My belly's grown, can't reach my toes. 

Lethargy so intense that I must doze, 
  Razputin & avacados at my next Super Wal-Mart shopping spree.
   Quit the hormonal Kentucky Fried fowl, 
     And mood swings that turn into black clouds..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rick London is an author, cartoonist and entrepreneur.
 He's been featured in The Wall St. Journal, ABC with
 Peter Jennings, CBS Morning With Paula Zahn,
 Bill O'Reilly, New York Daily News, Glamor Magazine,
 Playboy Magazine, PBS, NPR and many other media outlets.
 He is the founder and creator of Londons Times Cartoons
ranked Google and MSN's number one offbeat cartoon and
founder of Shoes That Amuse, the worlds only love quotation
shoes. He owns a number of cartoon stores that feature
 his images on over 100,000 products in such stores
as Rick London Collection and others. He and his fiance'
 Lee Hiller co-founded the full service web design
and seo firm Pen And Ink Inc,
and work together in the Ouichata mountains of Arkansas.
 Both are animal and nature lovers and active in both causes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I

Iphone Song Parody Published by Rick London

October 26, 2009

Iphone” by Rick London Song Parody to the tune of “My Girl” by The Temptations

temptations

Iphone by Rick London c2009

Direct from Apple or even on Ebay,
Internet tethering..cut, copy and paste,
They took a survey,
Iphone or Blue-beraaa,
Iphone (Iphone, Iphone),
Talkin’ into my (Iphone) (Iphone).

I can have video or graphics in 3D,
On the Iphone You can tap or call to speak,
I like the GPS display,
My Iphone is here to stay,
Iphone (Iphone, Iphone),
Talkin’ into my Iphone (Iphone).

Bought it on Ebay,
Ebay,
Sold.

Now other cellphones are all the same,
Even my Motorola is such a shame,
New or refurbished on Ebay,
Surf with my tiny cyber bouquet,
Iphone (Iphone, Iphone),
Talkin’ into my Iphone (Iphone).

temptations iphone

Whether its business or video games to play,
On my Iphone.
My Iphone is here to stay,
My Iphone (fade)

————————————————————————————————————

In addition to being a parody songwriter, Rick London is founder of Londons Times Cartoons, Google’s number one ranked offbeat cartoon

since 2005, and the Rick London Collection, another Google #1 ranking which features his cartoons on funny gifts and collectibles.