Pie In His Eye (Song Parody by Rick London c2011) sung to Alan Parson’s Eye In The Sky

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Dedicated to my DW Lee London-Hiller

 

  On thin ice Rupert Murdoch treads,
And puts News Of The World To Bed,
Hard to say goodbye to media whores,
Rupert and James are such dismal bores,
Walking greed,
Turned phone hacking pros,
With life dedicated to separating America into left and right wing.
Cable news went from 24/7 ceiling debt,
To Mr. Marbles’ pie thrown at Rupert’s head,
Newscorp employees jumping ship from no espirit de corps
How could they take anymore?
Did he hack me?
A pie in his eye,
His young wife just got a slight Ding.

(chorus)
How ’bout that pie in his eye,
Not long after Rebekah Brooks resigns
No more media old school,
Rupert’s no fool, he can cheat you blind,
That’s how he became a media fat cat,
He’ll take all he can find (sleeping with you)
He really doesn’t mind (if you sing the blues),
He’s lower than slime (the sewers are full of this type news)
His testimony’s maligned.
His ethics are undefined.
He’s technically out of his mind,
And any fool who walks in his door,
Won’t work there long before leaving.
Some believe his lies awhile,
But all his signs are deceiving

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Rick London is a writer, songwriter, cartoonist and designer. In 1997 he founded Londons Times Cartoons which has been the #1 Google & MSN ranked offbeat cartoons on the Internet since 2005.  He also recently founded ShoeShies.com which manufacturers Sushi Shoes and other Sushi Gifts. He is married to nature photographer Lee Hiller-London founder of nature blog Hike Our Planet. They are active in animal, environmentaland veteran causes, and live and work in the Ouichata Mountains of Arkansas.

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Rupert Murdoch Is A Bulldog (Parody Song by Rick London c2011) To The Tune Of 3 Dog Night’s Jeremiah Was A Bullfrog

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Dedicated to my DW Lee Hiller-London

 

Rupert Murdoch is a bulldog,
NewsCorps is his narcissist shrine,
Now that his useless whistle blower’s dead,
In the air is scent of media mogul swine,
But Rupert and Sonny Boy Are in Court trying to shine

Singin’
{Refrain}
News Of The World,
What happened to the Aussie sacred cow?
Whistleblower Sean Hoare swimmin’ with the fishes of the deep blue sea
And you shouldn’t have hacked Hugh Grant ya see.

Too bad for News Of The World,                            
A BP Cover-Up Deja Vu,
If I were Rupert I’d throw away and change my drawers,
And listen to British court’s diligence due.

Goodbye Cash Cow.
{Refrain}

 

With all my assets on freeze

Love to hack those phones,
But don’t pick on me I’m likely your Internet provider
And my FX Network has the best reruns,
And only toddlers watch Nickleodeon

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I am a mountain man who happens to enjoy writing parody songs. I founded Londons Times Cartoons and gifts in 1997 and has been the #1 offbeat cartoon on the Internet since 2005.  I am married to the very talented nature photographer Lee HillerLondon. You can see her work at Hike Our Planet Nature & Wildlife Blog.

“Yes You’re Gay” To The Tune Of The Beatles “Yesterday” by Rick London c2010

 

Yes, you’re gay,

The Tea Party feels you need someone else to lay,
Throwing Deuteronomy in your face,
Oh they believe you can be changed.

Marriage Decrees,
Is something only for straights you see,
Only straights get to make whoopie,
Get used to 2nd class its what you be.
Why your genetic code’s what it is, I don’t know,  I cannot say

Why Tea Party thinks you sin, Ken Mehlman may have something to say.

Yes you’re gay,
Now the right wing they keep dossiers,
On sexual actions that you might purvey,
They don’t believe you are born gay.

Why they think like this, that sodom is the San Francisco Gay Parade
Maybe you shouldn’t have worn that thong, you’ve been outed the Tea Party wayyyy.

Yes your gay,
In the closet you must quietly play.
Maybe one day you’ll have your day, when the Tea Party has gone away,
And then your gayness you’ll proudly display.

Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.

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Rick London is a writer, songwriter, cartoonist and designer. He founded Google and MSN’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons and funny gifts, Londons Times Cartoons and Gifts. He also founded Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous love quote shoes, which has been featured favorably on APWire and USA Today.  He is active in animal and wildlife causes and is an avid hiker and mountain climber. He and his wife Lee Hiller-London live and hike in the Ouachita Mountains of Arkansas

“Security Feels Me” (Song Parody by Rick London c2010) To The Tune Of The Who “See Me, Feel Me”

“Security..Feels Me” (Song Parody) by Rick London c2010 sung to The Who “See Me Feel Me”

 

Dedicated to my wife Lee Hiller-London

 

Security,
Feels me,
Sees me,
Perhaps a chablis?

More feelin’ me,
Squeeze me,
Frisk me,
Is this for free?

Suspicious Airline Passenger by Londons Times Cartoons

 

New York 80s sex bars weren’t even this sick,
You see me nude, now you’re in heat,
Normally, I’d spray with cayenne,
I’m just frequent flyer meat.

My behinds nude, guess you’ve seen millions,
Don’t you feel this is too gory,
Doesn’t matter if my fly’s open,
Go ahead with  your dirty deed.

All this time together, but we might not click,
This kind of behavior belongs ‘tween the sheets,
What’s on your face? Oh its a sick grin,
Wipe that excitement off your feet.

Hey stop that gawking at what you see jigglin’,
She’s no bomber, that’s just Aunt Bea,
Hang on to your yang it’s not going yin,
Let go of my flag, its not Old Glory.

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In addition to being a songwriter, Rick London is also f0under of Londons Times Cartoons, the #1 ranked offbeat cartoon on the Internet.  He also has opened numerous online shops that sell funny gifts bearing his cartoon images.  He also is founder and designer of the world’s only famous love quote shoes, Shoes That Amuse, and runs a cartoon blog about his various ventures. Follow him on Twitter @RickLondon.

Airport Security Parody Song by Rick London “Grievin’ On A Jet Plane” c2010

“Grievin’ On A Jet Plane” Parody Song by Rick London c2010

Dedicated to my wife Lee Hiller-London

Shark Folk Singers by Londons Times Cartoons (Click To Enlarge)

The Constitution’s sacked, my rights are gone,

The X-ray machine makes my boxers look like thongs,
Oh God I hope that’s not a pimple on my thigh.
They’ve see right through everything I’ve worn,
No more lax rules, a perverted culture is born,
Enough radiation to make Goliath die.

The TSA Agent & I don’t share the same esprit.
Have no idea if he wants to make whoopie,
Nonetheless, he’s now massaging my toes.
I’m grievin’ on a jet plane,
With total strangers that sinned,
What is this some flying pole dance show?
I’m ready to leave but security’s going downtown
My neurosis I’d like to drown,
With Nude Vodka, but they’ve already seen my everything,

Their Xray machine show’s I’m a Jew,
It’s taking hours, they’re still not through,
They’ve  touched so much, I expect a wedding ring.

All this foreplay is not for me,
Embarrassing, my kidneys are filled with pee,
I guess I’ll stand here, and just go,
Then I’ll be grievin’ on a jet plane,
Now they’re friskin’ me for a bobby pin,
Oh Gross, this guard’s in afterglow.

Guitar Solo

Now I know I’m coming unglued,
Can’t remember if I removed that secret tatoo
Here comes the scent of radioactive decay,
Not made of steel on the screen are my buns,
While I’m here remove these kidney stones,
Don’t touch my junk, is all I have to say.

So if you kiss me stay miles away from me,
Don’t even think of waiting for me,
You’ll lose an ear just like Vince Van Gogh,
Cause I’m grievin’ on a jet plane,
Not going back to that inequity den,
I hope you stepped in where I go.

I’m grievin’ on a jet plane,
Pre takeoff’s such a sin,
One is touching much too slow.

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Rick London is a writer, cartoonist, designer and songwriter. He founded Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons Londons Times.  He also founded numerous stores bearing his cartoon funny gifts such as The Rick London Collection.  He founded the world’s only love quote shoes ShoesThatAmuse.com and has a cartoon blog at WordPress as well.

Londons Times Cartoons Publishes 13th Anniversary Book

Founded in 1997 in a rural Ms warehouse, Londons Times has grown in 13 years to be one of the largest if not the largest inventory of offbeat cartoons on the Internet.

In 2005 Google ranked it the #1 cartoon where it has remained so ever since. In 2008, MSN also ranked it #1 and it remains so with MSN.

Today, on London’s 56th birthday, his first book “Our Favorites” was published, a compilation of what he considers his best cartoons from his collection into a picture book.

Founder Rick London says, “My wife Lee and I chose our favorite cartoons from our inventory. We decided to include 60 full page full color cartoons for the book, and create a series.

London continues to create cartoons with his Londons Times team and they appear on his main offbeat cartoons site

Five Ways Online Retailers Can Survive The Summer (Beyond Twitter & facebook)

Click To Enlarge

There ain’t no cure for the summertime retail blues….or is there? Historically, retailers dread the

summer as far as sales are concerned. Some even close shop for long periods of time. I remember

one brick and mortar store that closed the entire summer. People just don’t want to go out

in the sweltering heat.

One might think that would be an advantage to the online retailer and in many ways it is, if he/she

wants it to be. People are still people and we are creatures of habit so we tend to sock away extra

funds to start buying in September through early December for holiday gifts.

There are ways an online retailer can help him or herself as well as clients by keeping up with

trends.

One might have to live on Mars to know that the economy is suffering; and, even then chances are

the news has saturated other planets. Face it folks, it’s rough.

But people still will buy gifts and collectibles. What can a retailer do to fill that void. My stores

decided to drop most of its items that retail for over $25 and focus more on items that run from

the $.99  to $15 range. Yes we still cater to those who prefer the more expensive gifts, but our

cartoon postcards,  buttons, magnets, and basic tees are shipped worldwide daily. The economy

has affected everyone  everywhere, but, if the retailer listens to what the customer wants, the

customer will buy.

With millions of online retail stores on the Internet, how does one become a squeaky wheel? There

are lots of ways to do so. I am doing one now by writing an article. But one can’t just write an

article and “they will come”. The article has to offer at least a few pieces of information of value to

both the retailer and client.

Many simply focus on Twitter, “talk” to “friends” and feel that does the trick. Same with facebook.

Both couldn’t be further from the truth. Backlinks are what drives people to ones site, and they

can,in fact be found on Twitter and facebook, if the member places them there, but also in articles

and article directories, blogs and blog directories, social bookmarking sites, pinging their blogs,

and  a multitude of other proven techniques that put the social marketer head and heals above the

basic Twitterer or facebook fanatic. I am not putting down those social networks. I use them

and do so successfully. I have just come to know they are not “magic” and if one puts all his/her

eggs in their baskets, they end up branding Twitter and Facebook more than they do themselves.

Some still use ppc (pay per click) advertising such as Google Adwords, MSN Search etc. They

can be very effective, and I used to use them, but with all the free opportunities to use backlinks

to ones shop, and even more specifically to a particular product, and even a place for keyword

tags, I see paid ads as becoming somewhat outdated. I could be wrong; but I’d prefer to write an

article or a blog with a backlink. It is free, and is another expense I don’t have (advertising) giving

me yet another reason to keep the prices lower to the end buyer.

If the idea of article marketing, tweaking or even changing your sites keywords and metatags,

pinging, twitter blasts, twitter scheduled regular tweets, facebook management, blog and web

upkeep boggles the mind, it is not only a good idea, it is mandatory to find a professional

affordable web promotion firm.

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Rick London is a cartoonist, writer, designer, and online retailer.  He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997.  It has been the #1 Google ranked offbeat cartoon since 2005 and MSN #1 ranked since 2008. London founded the world’s only famous love quote shoes, ShoesThatAmuse.com in 2007 which has been featured in USA Today and worldwide on the AP Wire. He owns numerous online shops featuring his #1 cartoon on funny tees, cards, mugs etc such as RickLondonCollection.com.  London owns the premiere SEO marketing firm with his wife Lee Hiller-London which offers affordable web promotion and design,   Pen and Ink, Inc.   He is a native of the Ms. Gulf Coast and donates a percentage of each sale to Gulf Wildlife and other animal causes.

“Twitter” Parody Song by Rick London c2010 To Tune Of “Money” Pink Floyd

For my Love/DF @LeeHiller

Pink Floyd Another Time, But We Still Love Them

Twitter, Play or Flay,
Midnight In The Garden Of Good & Evil On Monitor Display.
Listen, its not Ebay.

Twitter, answer before your browser crashes,
You could be labeled a non-response snob with no

MY D/F Love @LeeHiller (And It may sound funny, but she's gonna get her money back! A doo doo doo doo doo doo...

following or fans,

200,000 followers might be time to clean an extreme Twitter Stream,
Someone just RT’d me with the Hawaii 5-0 theme,

Danno got the money back
But not before someone hacked my Twitter profile,
Keep your hands off her stash CNN-Tech Guru, Uh oh, here comes a “Cap Attack”.

My honey, she got hit,
But she got right up from the mat,
And “the player” doesn’t know but he’s oon be laying flat.

We have this fidelity,
Boring pay our bills no debt,
A newspaper from Nepal asks me if “I have any regrets”.

The Nepal News

(Sax and guitar solos)

Tis the right seasonings, its about thyme,
See my fair @Lee
But don’t take a slice of that pie.

My honey, was at Ebay,
Is the Internet’s Dr. Eveel,
Now she has her own brand here to stay.

Twitters a great place 4 monthly lifetime ties,
If nothing else it proves that life’s unfair,
Piper must be paid,
A MidSummer’s Day,
A sewerage Day,
Or a Spiritual Bouquet,
Twitters here to stay.
A Salute to Ev and Biz,
We know them to be very bright and alright.

A Princess Shines At The Oscars (Our Kathy Ireland)!!!!

Biz & Ev Brainstorming At Twitter (So we'll be nervous)

One Princess at Oscars Red Carpet got a deliberate slight,
The princess gave a designer jewelry left hook & Governor’s Ball smashing blow & super high rankings (and had just help renew/rebuild lives in Haiti)… some nuts at keyboards are cruisin’ for a bruisin.
“Yeah!”
Whey do some forget to think,
I know, they are really drunk all of the time.
Why he wasn’t coming up on freely, after Lee was twittering in CAPS and
Screaming and telling him why he wasn’t coming up on freely.
It came as a heavy blow, but others to his surprise, will sort the matter out.

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Aside from being a parody songwriter Rick London is founder of the Internet’s #1 offbeat cartoon, Londons Times.  He also founded the world’s only famous love quote shoes, ShoesThatAmuse.com, and is a fashion brand designer for actress/author Mariel Hemingway Collectibles. Rick owns numerous licensed image cartoon collectible shops that sell tees, cards, mugs etc featuring his “out there” cartoons.

“Charge It” New Parody To Ray Charles “Georgia” By Rick London

“Charge It” to Ray Charles “Georgia” Song Parody by Rick London c2009

For my Df @LeeHiller

Charge it, Charge it,
Even when my Visa bill’s due,
And I know it’s wrong,
But charge it, and it’s mine.

I say Charge it,
Charge it,
Amex says they’ll sue,
I’ve become a credit engineer,
From Ebay vintage, to Tom Morris’ “Twisdom” on Amazon I find.

The first day Mastercard came to me,
Retail doors opened thought I’d never see,
Turned my credit rating into debris,

I said Charge it,
Ohh Charge it,
Buicks or thongs,
Can Charge it, and its mine.

All the things I could buy for Lee,
As if we were the bourgeoisie
Until 30 days it seems like free,
Until the bill is due.

Charge it,
Charge it,
Doesn’t all of mankind?
Is this new 10K teak table so wrong?
I just charged it, it was mine.

When the economy’s not strong,
I can charge it, and it’s mine.

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In addition to being a parody songwriter, Rick London is founder of Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoon, Londons Times.  He owns numerous funny gifts shops including Rick London Gifts which sell his licensed cartoon gifts on tees, mugs, etc. Along with his fiance’ Lee Hiller, they founded and operate a professional SEO and web design firm known as Pen And Ink Inc.

“Twitterville” Song Parody by Rick London to Jimmy Buffett’s “Margaritaville”

“Wastin’ Away Again In Twitterville” by Rick London c2009 (Song Parody to the tune of Jimmy Buffett’s Wastin’ Away Again in Margaritaville”

For My DF @LeeHiller

Twitterin’ for Twit’s sake,
Do I see a venomous snake?
Of which of our projects will they try to foil?
My followin’s on upswing,
Then Twitter’s porn sting,
I fall from 7,000 back down to two.

Chorus:

Networking away again in Twitterville,
Makin friends and avoiding assaults,
Some of them edit my RT’s, with their usernames,
Twitter promises it will come to a halt.

Wonder what is the reason,
Social networking all season,
Stuck like a honey-jar on Winnie The Poo
I found a real beauty,
An Oregon cutie,
And a love like hers is long overdue.

Chorus:
Finding my way around in Twitterville,
Friends like these just can’t be bought,
Some people searchin’ for money and fame,
And that stinks,
Hell, it’s a cyber-assault.

One actor’s show flopped,
She twitted it nonstop,
I think it was a sequel to “Romancing The Stone”,
No One to defend her
No box-office legal tender,
Could anything be worse than leaving Hollywood’s  “A”-List throne?

Chasin’ the nuts away in Twitterville,
Tryin’ to keep my friends that are earthy salt,
I wrote a quote that  a life-coach self-claimed,
How very lame; It’s my own damned fault.
Yes and some people say there’s a life coach to blame,
“Philosophy-lite” pay them its your own damned fault.

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Rick London is a writer and entrepreneur. He founded Londons Times Cartoons which has been Google’s #1 ranked cartoons and offbeat cartoon gifts since 2005. He owns several other net ventures as well. He is engaged to America’s Favorite Love Columnist, Lee Hiller. Follow them on Twitter. @RickLondon and @LeeHiller Together they founded the web design and ethical SEO team of PenAndInkInc.com