Posts Tagged ‘songs’

“Yes You’re Gay” To The Tune Of The Beatles “Yesterday” by Rick London c2010

December 9, 2010

 

Yes, you’re gay,

The Tea Party feels you need someone else to lay,
Throwing Deuteronomy in your face,
Oh they believe you can be changed.

Marriage Decrees,
Is something only for straights you see,
Only straights get to make whoopie,
Get used to 2nd class its what you be.
Why your genetic code’s what it is, I don’t know,  I cannot say

Why Tea Party thinks you sin, Ken Mehlman may have something to say.

Yes you’re gay,
Now the right wing they keep dossiers,
On sexual actions that you might purvey,
They don’t believe you are born gay.

Why they think like this, that sodom is the San Francisco Gay Parade
Maybe you shouldn’t have worn that thong, you’ve been outed the Tea Party wayyyy.

Yes your gay,
In the closet you must quietly play.
Maybe one day you’ll have your day, when the Tea Party has gone away,
And then your gayness you’ll proudly display.

Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.


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Rick London is a writer, songwriter, cartoonist and designer. He founded Google and MSN’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons and funny gifts, Londons Times Cartoons and Gifts. He also founded Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous love quote shoes, which has been featured favorably on APWire and USA Today.  He is active in animal and wildlife causes and is an avid hiker and mountain climber. He and his wife Lee Hiller-London live and hike in the Ouachita Mountains of Arkansas

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“Security Feels Me” (Song Parody by Rick London c2010) To The Tune Of The Who “See Me, Feel Me”

November 20, 2010

“Security..Feels Me” (Song Parody) by Rick London c2010 sung to The Who “See Me Feel Me”

 

Dedicated to my wife Lee Hiller-London

 

Security,
Feels me,
Sees me,
Perhaps a chablis?

More feelin’ me,
Squeeze me,
Frisk me,
Is this for free?

Suspicious Airline Passenger by Londons Times Cartoons

 

New York 80s sex bars weren’t even this sick,
You see me nude, now you’re in heat,
Normally, I’d spray with cayenne,
I’m just frequent flyer meat.

My behinds nude, guess you’ve seen millions,
Don’t you feel this is too gory,
Doesn’t matter if my fly’s open,
Go ahead with  your dirty deed.

All this time together, but we might not click,
This kind of behavior belongs ‘tween the sheets,
What’s on your face? Oh its a sick grin,
Wipe that excitement off your feet.

Hey stop that gawking at what you see jigglin’,
She’s no bomber, that’s just Aunt Bea,
Hang on to your yang it’s not going yin,
Let go of my flag, its not Old Glory.

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In addition to being a songwriter, Rick London is also f0under of Londons Times Cartoons, the #1 ranked offbeat cartoon on the Internet.  He also has opened numerous online shops that sell funny gifts bearing his cartoon images.  He also is founder and designer of the world’s only famous love quote shoes, Shoes That Amuse, and runs a cartoon blog about his various ventures. Follow him on Twitter @RickLondon.

Airport Security Parody Song by Rick London “Grievin’ On A Jet Plane” c2010

November 19, 2010

“Grievin’ On A Jet Plane” Parody Song by Rick London c2010

Dedicated to my wife Lee Hiller-London

Shark Folk Singers by Londons Times Cartoons (Click To Enlarge)

Shark Folk Singers by Londons Times Cartoons (Click To Enlarge)

The Constitution’s sacked, my rights are gone,

The X-ray machine makes my boxers look like thongs,
Oh God I hope that’s not a pimple on my thigh.
They’ve see right through everything I’ve worn,
No more lax rules, a perverted culture is born,
Enough radiation to make Goliath die.

The TSA Agent & I don’t share the same esprit.
Have no idea if he wants to make whoopie,
Nonetheless, he’s now massaging my toes.
I’m grievin’ on a jet plane,
With total strangers that sinned,
What is this some flying pole dance show?
I’m ready to leave but security’s going downtown
My neurosis I’d like to drown,
With Nude Vodka, but they’ve already seen my everything,

Their Xray machine show’s I’m a Jew,
It’s taking hours, they’re still not through,
They’ve  touched so much, I expect a wedding ring.

All this foreplay is not for me,
Embarrassing, my kidneys are filled with pee,
I guess I’ll stand here, and just go,
Then I’ll be grievin’ on a jet plane,
Now they’re friskin’ me for a bobby pin,
Oh Gross, this guard’s in afterglow.

Guitar Solo

Now I know I’m coming unglued,
Can’t remember if I removed that secret tatoo
Here comes the scent of radioactive decay,
Not made of steel on the screen are my buns,
While I’m here remove these kidney stones,
Don’t touch my junk, is all I have to say.

So if you kiss me stay miles away from me,
Don’t even think of waiting for me,
You’ll lose an ear just like Vince Van Gogh,
Cause I’m grievin’ on a jet plane,
Not going back to that inequity den,
I hope you stepped in where I go.

I’m grievin’ on a jet plane,
Pre takeoff’s such a sin,
One is touching much too slow.


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Rick London is a writer, cartoonist, designer and songwriter. He founded Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoons Londons Times.  He also founded numerous stores bearing his cartoon funny gifts such as The Rick London Collection.  He founded the world’s only love quote shoes ShoesThatAmuse.com and has a cartoon blog at WordPress as well.

“BP Sad Company” by Rick London Sung To “Bad Company”

July 7, 2010

Sad Company” (By Rick London c2010) To The Tune Of “Bad Company” by “Bad Company”

Dedicated To My Wife Lee Hiller-London

Click To Enlarge

No mackerel shad, thanks to BP,
Dying dolphins, struggling in your greed.

A company so badly run,
Killed our whales with no whaling gun,
Oh 500 miles of tar balls on the sand,
Thanks to BP,

An Iranian Oil Company,
They first tried to deny,
Persian Oil Company,
All the wildlife died,
What a way to die.

Coast Guard & BP Patrols,
The Gulf Coast is appalled,
You claim to be British but your stocks are in Tehran,
Do you realize you’re hellbound?
At Grand Isle you create quite a flame
And Pensacola Bay.

BP needs to leave,
They gave it their best try,
It’s a sad company,
11 men have died.
All the fish have fried
SOLO

Oil grab,
This corrupt company,
All toxic debris,
Everything has died,
Remove your oil bit,
Sad company, Oh yeah—yeah
BP’s a sad company,
Everything has died.

4 generations of family business grieve,
Your heads in the sand,
BP needs to leave,
The entire Gulf & Bay,
Once clean now dirty,
Hold the tartar sauce,

Yeah,
BP’s a sad company,
Spill prevented with drilling mud.

Click To Enlarge

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Rick London is a songwriter, cartoonist and designer. He founded Londons Times Cartoons which have been Google #1 ranked offbeat cartoons since 2005 and MSN #1 ranked since 2008. London founded and designs Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous  love quote shoes. He has numerous licensed cartoon funny gift shops such as Rick LondonWear where he donates a percentage of all Funny BP Tees & Gift profits to Gulf causes. . He writes parody songs, and plans to write one every week until BP plugs the hole and cleans up every inch of the Gulf. He is auditioning bands/musicans. Please send audio, video or link to info@LondonsTimes.us. London is donating his half of all music profits to various Gulf Wildlife Causes.

“Charge It” New Parody To Ray Charles “Georgia” By Rick London

September 10, 2009

Charge It” to Ray Charles “Georgia” Song Parody by Rick London c2009

dave_xray

For my Df @LeeHiller

Charge it, Charge it,
Even when my Visa bill’s due,
And I know it’s wrong,
But charge it, and it’s mine.

I say Charge it,
Charge it,
Amex says they’ll sue,
I’ve become a credit engineer,
From Ebay vintage, to Tom Morris’ “Twisdom” on Amazon I find.

The first day Mastercard came to me,
Retail doors opened thought I’d never see,
Turned my credit rating into debris,

I said Charge it,
Ohh Charge it,
Buicks or thongs,
Can Charge it, and its mine.

All the things I could buy for Lee,
As if we were the bourgeoisie
Until 30 days it seems like free,
Until the bill is due.

ray charles 2 piano winding

Charge it,
Charge it,
Doesn’t all of mankind?
Is this new 10K teak table so wrong?
I just charged it, it was mine.

When the economy’s not strong,
I can charge it, and it’s mine.

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In addition to being a parody songwriter, Rick London is founder of Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoon, Londons Times.  He owns numerous funny gifts shops including Rick London Gifts which sell his licensed cartoon gifts on tees, mugs, etc. Along with his fiance’ Lee Hiller, they founded and operate a professional SEO and web design firm known as Pen And Ink Inc.

Cartoonist Rick London Writes “The Junk Food Song..Supersized” Sung To “Bette Davis Eyes”

August 24, 2009

Supersized: The Junk Food Song” by Rick London C2009 To The Tune of Kim Carnes “Bette Davis Eyes

For my DF: Lee Hiller

The Real Bette Davis Would Have Avoided Fast Foods

Their arch is Harlow gold,
Deep grease with your french fries,
Big Macs trans-fat rancid and old
McDonald’s supersized.

A Happy Meal or two,
Will make you twice your size,
The size of Manhattan & Queens you’ll grow,
You too will be supersized.

Systolic at 192,
Diastolic 122
Enough cholesterol to make your face blue,
Whatever else is in it corporate stays hushed,
Want to know how to make your heart cry?
Try a box of Kentucky Deep Fried.

With belly so big your feet aren’t in sight,
From just some Popeyes’ chicken chewed to the bone
You’ve got pacydermic thighs.

A McDonald's Happy Meal?

Double Whopper for you,
Not one burger but twice till your arteries are goo,
Giving you Mt. Rushmore thighs.

Wendy’s you can’t fit into your shoes,
Ugg Boots no matter how hard you let your legs push,
Add on to that supersized fries,
You’ve got pacydermic thighs.

American Gotcha
American Gotcha

Arby’s fruit turnovers tease you,
And your sweet tooth,
Cholesterol so thick needs Cardio peer review,
Blood pressure flies higher than a brown thrush,
And a nice salad bar to soften the lies,
For your pacydermic thighs.
Londons Times Cartoons www.LondonsTimes.us
Domino’s comes to you,
A poison menu,
A cheesy ballyhoo.
Not much nutritional guise.

Healthy food will repose you,
Your blood flows through,
Those organs are part of you,
Why not try healthy food on for size?

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Rick London is a writer and entrepreneur. His cartoon “Londons Times” has been the #1 ranked offbeat cartoon (Google rankings) since 2005. His website was founded in 1997 and has received over 8.5 million visitors since 2005. He founded Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous love quote shoes. He owns numerous funny gift shops bearing with gifts and collectibles bearing his offbeat cartoon images. He is the designer of actress Mariel Hemingway brand of licensed products. He is co-founder of PenAndInkInc an professional web design, branding and SEO firm which he founded with his fiancé’ Lee Hiller who is the love advice columnist of Herald de Paris.

“Some Tweets May Cause Strife” by Rick London c2009) To Beatles “A Day In The Life”

August 22, 2009


For my DF Lee Hiller

beatles fine fine fine 9999999I saw a tweet today, Oh boy. A Dorothy Parker-wannabe with no shades of gray.

Then comes a link to a start-up  launching pad,
Some breast enlargement scheme claiming not to be another fad
Someone gossiped claiming who was good and who was  riff-raff….


These DM’s can get quite bizarre,
Some even cross the line of being deranged….
Why must I know whose having an affair?
And then they wonder why I block or ignore,
Come and go as fast as an Edsel Ford.

Another “Life Coach” aka unemployed

Purveying “wisdom” that condescends & degrades,
And in real life they borrow steal and beg.
All the while #quoting gems from The Good Book
Enabling followers to self-aggrandize to their cyber-throne

I clicked my mouse and went to facebook instead,
Not Twitter excitement but at least it was not dead

Then left my PC just to tidy up,
Went back to facebook but it was abate,
Not much noise but a place to chat,
On board were several adults and several MySpace brats,
Posted a few puns, but no one got the joke,
I’m not at all surprised what appears on my monitor’s screen,
Bah.

fail whale
Several Social network veterans looking for their prey,
So I went back to Twitter with throttle in full gear.
A few #quotes from Emerson and the Apostle Paul,
Then so much spam it felt like a strip mall,
But in my living room so without the urban sprawl,
Someone said they’d follow me if I was well-known.

(Repeat Chorus)

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Rick London is a writer and entrepreneur. His cartoon “Londons Times” has been the #1 ranked offbeat cartoon (Google rankings) since 2005. His website was founded in 1997 and has received over 8.5 million visitors since 2005. He founded Shoes That Amuse, the world’s only famous love quote shoes. He owns numerous funny gift shops bearing with gifts and collectibles bearing his offbeat cartoon images. He is the designer of actress Mariel Hemingway brand of licensed products. He is co-founder of PenAndInkInc an professional web design, branding and SEO firm which he founded with his fiancé’ Lee Hiller who is the love advice columnist of Herald de Paris.

“The Twitter Song” (To the tune of “American Pie”) by Rick London c2009

August 13, 2009
American Pie Cartoon

American Pie Cartoon

The Twitter Song: The Day The Retweets Died” (To the tune of Don McClean’s “American Pie”)

by Rick London c2009

Dedicated to my DF Lee Hiller

A techno wiz-kid with a mind of dough,
Thought up this thing “Twitter”,
And investors said it “was worthwhile”.
Now millions daily at PC’s in a trance,
Twitter keeping Biz Stone financed,
And impress the masses and beguile.

What facebook promised Twitter delivered,
MySpace sits still while it shivers,
Waiting for a misstep
How could 140 be so in-depth?

Social networks I had tried,
An empty vacuum my words did ride,
2000 followers and its too hard to hide,
Twitter’s Alexa rankings can’t be denied.

So Twitter quietly slip-slided by,
One can tweet with high speeds
Drinking chamomile tea,
A new network evolves with every trick that’s been tried,
Bringing half-truths and full lies,
Gotta give ’em credit for tryin’.

Did you retweet my quote on “love”?,
Or my tweet on God above?
Is your following about to grow?
Have you encountered fail-whale throes?
Has a Life Coach saved your mortal soul.
Can you teach me how to tweet like a pro?

On Twitter Kabbalah’s mighty “in”,
. But don’t preach to me with just prelims,
You might make me just snooze,
With your zealot “spiritual” ruse.

I would prefer to not upchuck,
If you think its a pick up bar you’re outta luck,

But if it quacks like a duck,
It’s the day, the retweets died.

Whats Twitter bringing?
. Twitters like Mom and Apple Pie,
There’s no taxes that are levied,
Government won’t even try,
Ploys don’t last long on the Twitter ride,
But real business surely does a fine job,
Stick with them and you won’t get robbed.

You can even tweet now from your phone,

Again courtesy of our friend Biz Stone,
But it causes a bit of agony,
And as the icons roll down the screen,
It feels like TweetDeck’s about to scream,
But there you’ll find something to retweet.

Twitter services crop up with Twits renown,
And weird maneuvering goes to town,
Did you join a bad network, an ill turn?
Or did you just get burned?
Someone tweeted a remark,
A conversation then was sparked,
Cyber-animals on Noah’s Ark,
The day, the retweets died.

We were pinging,
Our blogs and things to catch others eyes,
We’re all separated by 6 degrees,
In 140 characters you replied,
Don’t you wonder what it was they implied?
. As you float away like Captain Bligh,
This is just the way retweets die.

An obscure “agent” comes to woo her,
An author with a best-seller for sure,
Saturating Google & Hollywood starts to cast.
. The book shattered like broken glass,
The agent tried for yet another free pass,
With a final tweet of blocked and passed.

Now the budding Twitterers were all abloom,
. Not giving away the farm too soon,
No annuities in advance.
The “agent” didn’t stand a chance.
Such oddities one tweet reveals,
Alas nobody paid the bill,
Do you recall drama stood still?
The day her retweets died.

And she was pinging,
. I’m back at facebook but I surely did try,
I thought Twitter liked me,
But my following dried,
While CNN and Ashton moved high,
Was the same day my retweets died,
I turned off the pc and cried.

Oh, and I even considered back to MySpace,
But would have been a generation out of place,
Another funky icon with a grin,
So Twitter softly, carry a big stick,
But twitter something in your niche,
Cause nobody knows quite where you’ve been.

When I unfollowed I watched him in a rage,
I sat there twittering so unfazed,
On Twitter con games one can tell,
Not even searching the Holy Grail.
And as the tweets went into the night,
Spammers pitched DM’s in delight,
Lovers tweeted and got it right,
The day, the retweets died.

He was pinging,
Twitter till your fingers run dry,
Twitter helps you be all that you can be.
Retweets are mighty fine.
Twitterers from here to Nepal had their eyes on the prize,
Pinging blogs with backlinks on the side,
Pinging blogs, that took us for a ride.

I met a girl when I was blue,
She said my profile background was not happy news,
I just frowned and said “another day”.
But she told me the real score,
The rest of the tale is not folklore,
And I’ll love her ’till the end of my days.

And in the tweets our love it screams,
As we slide down the current of Twitstream,
We didn’t fix the unbroken,
. The church bells were our token,
And the social network I admire the most,
Gives me 140 characters at most,
No room to embellish or boast,
. Twitters such a great ride.

And some are pinging,
I’ve got a blog for your eyes,
Can’t you be there with me
Nothing’s for free ya know I cannot lie.
And half of them goods are just pie in the sky,
But you know you don’t have to reply,
. Just tweet forward with a bright eye.

My ears were ringing,
My, my, another twitterer cries,
Someone blocked and abandoned me,
But its ok I’ll stay in denial,
May fix the pain with some whiskey and rye,
. With my fingers on the keyboard till I die.

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Rick London is a writer, cartoonist, and entrepreneur. He founded Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoon, Londons times and many of its peripheral funny gift shops. He also is a songwriter.