Posts Tagged ‘social networking’

Five Ways Online Retailers Can Survive The Summer (Beyond Twitter & facebook)

July 8, 2010

Click To Enlarge

There ain’t no cure for the summertime retail blues….or is there? Historically, retailers dread the

summer as far as sales are concerned. Some even close shop for long periods of time. I remember

one brick and mortar store that closed the entire summer. People just don’t want to go out

in the sweltering heat.

One might think that would be an advantage to the online retailer and in many ways it is, if he/she

wants it to be. People are still people and we are creatures of habit so we tend to sock away extra

funds to start buying in September through early December for holiday gifts.

There are ways an online retailer can help him or herself as well as clients by keeping up with


One might have to live on Mars to know that the economy is suffering; and, even then chances are

the news has saturated other planets. Face it folks, it’s rough.

But people still will buy gifts and collectibles. What can a retailer do to fill that void. My stores

decided to drop most of its items that retail for over $25 and focus more on items that run from

the $.99  to $15 range. Yes we still cater to those who prefer the more expensive gifts, but our

cartoon postcards,  buttons, magnets, and basic tees are shipped worldwide daily. The economy

has affected everyone  everywhere, but, if the retailer listens to what the customer wants, the

customer will buy.

With millions of online retail stores on the Internet, how does one become a squeaky wheel? There

are lots of ways to do so. I am doing one now by writing an article. But one can’t just write an

article and “they will come”. The article has to offer at least a few pieces of information of value to

both the retailer and client.

Many simply focus on Twitter, “talk” to “friends” and feel that does the trick. Same with facebook.

Both couldn’t be further from the truth. Backlinks are what drives people to ones site, and they

can,in fact be found on Twitter and facebook, if the member places them there, but also in articles

and article directories, blogs and blog directories, social bookmarking sites, pinging their blogs,

and  a multitude of other proven techniques that put the social marketer head and heals above the

basic Twitterer or facebook fanatic. I am not putting down those social networks. I use them

and do so successfully. I have just come to know they are not “magic” and if one puts all his/her

eggs in their baskets, they end up branding Twitter and Facebook more than they do themselves.

Some still use ppc (pay per click) advertising such as Google Adwords, MSN Search etc. They

can be very effective, and I used to use them, but with all the free opportunities to use backlinks

to ones shop, and even more specifically to a particular product, and even a place for keyword

tags, I see paid ads as becoming somewhat outdated. I could be wrong; but I’d prefer to write an

article or a blog with a backlink. It is free, and is another expense I don’t have (advertising) giving

me yet another reason to keep the prices lower to the end buyer.

If the idea of article marketing, tweaking or even changing your sites keywords and metatags,

pinging, twitter blasts, twitter scheduled regular tweets, facebook management, blog and web

upkeep boggles the mind, it is not only a good idea, it is mandatory to find a professional

affordable web promotion firm.


Rick London is a cartoonist, writer, designer, and online retailer.  He founded Londons Times Cartoons in 1997.  It has been the #1 Google ranked offbeat cartoon since 2005 and MSN #1 ranked since 2008. London founded the world’s only famous love quote shoes, in 2007 which has been featured in USA Today and worldwide on the AP Wire. He owns numerous online shops featuring his #1 cartoon on funny tees, cards, mugs etc such as  London owns the premiere SEO marketing firm with his wife Lee Hiller-London which offers affordable web promotion and design,   Pen and Ink, Inc.   He is a native of the Ms. Gulf Coast and donates a percentage of each sale to Gulf Wildlife and other animal causes.

“Hotel California” Parody “Life Coaches They Don’t Warn Ya” Parody Song By Rick London c2009

August 26, 2009

“Hotel California” Parody “Life Coaches Let Me Warn Ya” Parody by Rick London c2009

twitter 1 life coach used car salesman

For My DF: Lee Hiller

I was tweeting one day, saw what could be a snare
Life coaches planning toxic tweet-ups, with big bucks & visualization prayers

With shimmering books and pricey videos, Free info any minister would give at first sight,
Said the way I was living, was just a big sin,

Salvation via The Life Coach Way, & I would see the light.But all they offer is free on Wiki,

Or the Bible on the shelf,

They still said their colorfully package paraphernalia would,
Help me avoid the highway to hell.
These self-absorbed bandits, said they’d show me the way,
Just by focusing on desires I adored,
And clean out my un-spiritual cache.

twitter 1 life coach ambition poster 2222

There’s life coaches on Twitter, don’t say I didn’t warn ya,
A forced smiling face,
A trespass on the case,
There’s life coaches on Twitter, don’t say I didn’t warn ya,
They’ll instill some fear,
Their “gift’s” no Frankincense and Myrrh

And then once you’re enlisted, the grin turns into shark fins,
But wait this one says she speaks for God, so she says with a grin,
Misleading maneuvers in the background, but Twitter icon silhouette,
Just know she’ll take you for everything, or at least all she can get.
twitter 1 life coach leadership poster
So I called on my God, who lives within,
But the coach said that I needed more and asked me not to whine,
Packaged information I could get for free was only $4999.
And her snake oil was brewing like a garlic bouquet,
Motivational mantras just a little trite,
Throw in some ancient cliches’

Life coaches only want adornment from ya,
Compliment their lovely face (and their Twitter follow-base,
They are on the take.
Purveyin’ information allegedly as mystical as Ka,
But it’s only lies, Only lies
twitter 1 life coach success posterShould be criminalized

Ruffled as a spurious wing,
Instincts say “Please think twice”,
Before becoming a prisoner, of a transparent rhetorical device,
In hopes no money transfers,
To this unemployed leech,
They would sell their mothers, kids, and wives,
With an Elmer Gantry speech.

At last I remembered, I have equal protection of the laws,
Have always coached my own life before,
Not paying cash for this “verbal crack”,
From a condescending bore,
The best wisdom and advice from man,
And programs free to receive.
Life Coaches go down the Twitter pike,
Causing one to heave….

twitter 1 life coach snl character


Rick London is a writer and entrepreneur. In 1997, London founded what is now (since 2005) Google’s #1-ranked offbeat cartoon . He later went on to launch Shoes That Amuse, the only footwear featuring famous love quotations. He is the designer for Mariel Hemingway licensed gifts and collectibles. He is engaged to HeralddeParis love columnist Lee Hiller and together they own the professional SEO, Branding & Professional Web Design Firm  PenAndInkInc.


“The Twitter Song” (To the tune of “American Pie”) by Rick London c2009

August 13, 2009
American Pie Cartoon

American Pie Cartoon

The Twitter Song: The Day The Retweets Died” (To the tune of Don McClean’s “American Pie”)

by Rick London c2009

Dedicated to my DF Lee Hiller

A techno wiz-kid with a mind of dough,
Thought up this thing “Twitter”,
And investors said it “was worthwhile”.
Now millions daily at PC’s in a trance,
Twitter keeping Biz Stone financed,
And impress the masses and beguile.

What facebook promised Twitter delivered,
MySpace sits still while it shivers,
Waiting for a misstep
How could 140 be so in-depth?

Social networks I had tried,
An empty vacuum my words did ride,
2000 followers and its too hard to hide,
Twitter’s Alexa rankings can’t be denied.

So Twitter quietly slip-slided by,
One can tweet with high speeds
Drinking chamomile tea,
A new network evolves with every trick that’s been tried,
Bringing half-truths and full lies,
Gotta give ’em credit for tryin’.

Did you retweet my quote on “love”?,
Or my tweet on God above?
Is your following about to grow?
Have you encountered fail-whale throes?
Has a Life Coach saved your mortal soul.
Can you teach me how to tweet like a pro?

On Twitter Kabbalah’s mighty “in”,
. But don’t preach to me with just prelims,
You might make me just snooze,
With your zealot “spiritual” ruse.

I would prefer to not upchuck,
If you think its a pick up bar you’re outta luck,

But if it quacks like a duck,
It’s the day, the retweets died.

Whats Twitter bringing?
. Twitters like Mom and Apple Pie,
There’s no taxes that are levied,
Government won’t even try,
Ploys don’t last long on the Twitter ride,
But real business surely does a fine job,
Stick with them and you won’t get robbed.

You can even tweet now from your phone,

Again courtesy of our friend Biz Stone,
But it causes a bit of agony,
And as the icons roll down the screen,
It feels like TweetDeck’s about to scream,
But there you’ll find something to retweet.

Twitter services crop up with Twits renown,
And weird maneuvering goes to town,
Did you join a bad network, an ill turn?
Or did you just get burned?
Someone tweeted a remark,
A conversation then was sparked,
Cyber-animals on Noah’s Ark,
The day, the retweets died.

We were pinging,
Our blogs and things to catch others eyes,
We’re all separated by 6 degrees,
In 140 characters you replied,
Don’t you wonder what it was they implied?
. As you float away like Captain Bligh,
This is just the way retweets die.

An obscure “agent” comes to woo her,
An author with a best-seller for sure,
Saturating Google & Hollywood starts to cast.
. The book shattered like broken glass,
The agent tried for yet another free pass,
With a final tweet of blocked and passed.

Now the budding Twitterers were all abloom,
. Not giving away the farm too soon,
No annuities in advance.
The “agent” didn’t stand a chance.
Such oddities one tweet reveals,
Alas nobody paid the bill,
Do you recall drama stood still?
The day her retweets died.

And she was pinging,
. I’m back at facebook but I surely did try,
I thought Twitter liked me,
But my following dried,
While CNN and Ashton moved high,
Was the same day my retweets died,
I turned off the pc and cried.

Oh, and I even considered back to MySpace,
But would have been a generation out of place,
Another funky icon with a grin,
So Twitter softly, carry a big stick,
But twitter something in your niche,
Cause nobody knows quite where you’ve been.

When I unfollowed I watched him in a rage,
I sat there twittering so unfazed,
On Twitter con games one can tell,
Not even searching the Holy Grail.
And as the tweets went into the night,
Spammers pitched DM’s in delight,
Lovers tweeted and got it right,
The day, the retweets died.

He was pinging,
Twitter till your fingers run dry,
Twitter helps you be all that you can be.
Retweets are mighty fine.
Twitterers from here to Nepal had their eyes on the prize,
Pinging blogs with backlinks on the side,
Pinging blogs, that took us for a ride.

I met a girl when I was blue,
She said my profile background was not happy news,
I just frowned and said “another day”.
But she told me the real score,
The rest of the tale is not folklore,
And I’ll love her ’till the end of my days.

And in the tweets our love it screams,
As we slide down the current of Twitstream,
We didn’t fix the unbroken,
. The church bells were our token,
And the social network I admire the most,
Gives me 140 characters at most,
No room to embellish or boast,
. Twitters such a great ride.

And some are pinging,
I’ve got a blog for your eyes,
Can’t you be there with me
Nothing’s for free ya know I cannot lie.
And half of them goods are just pie in the sky,
But you know you don’t have to reply,
. Just tweet forward with a bright eye.

My ears were ringing,
My, my, another twitterer cries,
Someone blocked and abandoned me,
But its ok I’ll stay in denial,
May fix the pain with some whiskey and rye,
. With my fingers on the keyboard till I die.


Rick London is a writer, cartoonist, and entrepreneur. He founded Google’s #1 ranked offbeat cartoon, Londons times and many of its peripheral funny gift shops. He also is a songwriter.